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PeanutButterFred
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17 Jul 2017, 1:57 am

For a long time all I've wanted was a girl who would love me as much as I loved her. It never works out though. I thought I had a date lined up for today but she cancelled on me at the last minute. This happens every time. They'll talk to me for a while and then stop replying, and the ones that actually agree to a date always cancel on me. Ive tried staying positive but that's getting hard. Some people I know have said that since I'm so opiniated I'd make a terrible boyfriend and I'm starting to think maybe they're right. There isnt allot about me thats attractive. Maybe its time to just give up and accept that Im just going to be alone all my life.



CharityGoodyGrace
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17 Jul 2017, 2:00 am

Don't ever give up. There's a lot of people not our type, but there are so many people out there in the same boat. WE DO NOT REALIZE HOW MANY OF US THERE ARE. Have some confidence and go easy on people.



PeanutButterFred
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17 Jul 2017, 2:02 am

And also I thought today's date would be better because the girl had schizophrenia. You'd think if anyone wouldn't judge you for having aspergers, it'd be someone with schizophrenia. But no she bailed on me just like everyone else. How pathetic do you have to be for that to happen?



kraftiekortie
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17 Jul 2017, 2:50 am

You're only 23. Just started out in life.

My father's name is Fred. He likes peanut butter, too.



whatamievendoing
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17 Jul 2017, 6:53 am

Two words: Do not.

I'll break it to you straight: you're going to have a lot of bad experiences in your lifetime, not just on the love front. But the only way you can improve your chances is by keeping at it. "The One" either comes along or it doesn't. You won't find out by stopping here.


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NoName93
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17 Jul 2017, 7:00 am

Did you try to date an aspie girl or only NTs?



TheSpectrum
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17 Jul 2017, 7:27 pm

PeanutButterFred wrote:
And also I thought today's date would be better because the girl had schizophrenia. You'd think if anyone wouldn't judge you for having aspergers, it'd be someone with schizophrenia. But no she bailed on me just like everyone else. How pathetic do you have to be for that to happen?

I don't think that's your fault in this case.
It sounds like you have a lot of love to give, man.
Maybe try to not let it out so soon and give a girl time to adjust and feel the same way.


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PeanutButterFred
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17 Jul 2017, 7:41 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
I don't think that's your fault in this case.
It sounds like you have a lot of love to give, man.
Maybe try to not let it out so soon and give a girl time to adjust and feel the same way.


I don't know man. I really want someone to love but I've been on other forums and people tell me that I don't deserve a girlfriend because Im too opinionated and I'll mistreat her. What if being with me really would just make things worse for her? Maybe I should stay single.



TheSpectrum
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17 Jul 2017, 7:43 pm

PeanutButterFred wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
I don't think that's your fault in this case.
It sounds like you have a lot of love to give, man.
Maybe try to not let it out so soon and give a girl time to adjust and feel the same way.


I don't know man. I really want someone to love but I've been on other forums and people tell me that I don't deserve a girlfriend because Im too opinionated and I'll mistreat her. What if being with me really would just make things worse for her? Maybe I should stay single.

How would you even know unless you were actually with her?


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starkid
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17 Jul 2017, 7:56 pm

Only certain kinds of people dislike "opinionated" people. Not everyone. And sometimes people just say that because they disagree with your opinions, not because they really dislike opinionated people.

Also the social environment of a forum is much different than the social environment of an intimate relationship. People you date will usually be more interested in your opinions than a bunch of anonymous strangers.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Jul 2017, 8:32 pm

How do people on forums know what you're really like?

Think about that.

Do you think you know a person only based on what he/she said in a forum?



Chronos
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18 Jul 2017, 12:03 am

PeanutButterFred wrote:
For a long time all I've wanted was a girl who would love me as much as I loved her. It never works out though. I thought I had a date lined up for today but she cancelled on me at the last minute. This happens every time. They'll talk to me for a while and then stop replying, and the ones that actually agree to a date always cancel on me. Ive tried staying positive but that's getting hard. Some people I know have said that since I'm so opiniated I'd make a terrible boyfriend and I'm starting to think maybe they're right. There isnt allot about me thats attractive. Maybe its time to just give up and accept that Im just going to be alone all my life.


23 is very early adulthood. Your life has barely just begun. You still have a lot of developing and growing to do as a person. I don't know why the girls are canceling on you, but most girls will not make plans with a guy unless she intends to meet him, so unless you are begging them to make plans with you and they finally just say "yes" to get you to leave them alone, I suspect they are either canceling because something comes up, or something transpires between the two of you before the date which makes them reconsider.

Concerning being overly opinionated, that is easy to address...
1. Be open to listening and considering the perspective of others. You might learn something.
2. Be open to entertaining the idea that you might be wrong about something. Most people are wrong about something at some point in their lives.
3. Being right is not always important...even though that can be difficult to accept.
4. People like listeners, and it takes less energy to keep your mouth closed than to open it.