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lgm23
Butterfly
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Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 11

19 Jul 2017, 12:42 am

I am going to be a senior in high school in the fall and I am starting to be very nervous for college. I have a lot of friends at school because it is a very small school (only 300 kids in the high school) but I don't know if I'm going to be able to make friends at a big university. So how do you make friends at college? I feel like I'll just get lost in the shuffle


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Diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD


Grammar Geek
Veteran
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Joined: 22 Oct 2015
Age: 28
Posts: 886
Location: Missouri

19 Jul 2017, 12:54 am

People will tell you to join clubs. Personally, that's never worked for me. I've joined a lot of clubs, and I'm always the outcast. Everybody else becomes friends with each other and I'm just there. So I have no idea. High school was so much easier to make friends. I miss it every day.



adorkablegeekgirl
Hummingbird
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Joined: 27 Jul 2017
Age: 26
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Location: USA

27 Jul 2017, 4:22 pm

I have been struggling with this too, for sooooo many reasons, but I've figured out a great and blissfully scripted way to make at least casual acquaintances. Go into all of your classes the first day and sit by someone in or near the front row who looks friendly. These are generally nice, nerdy people, who care about school, which is why they sit up close to the teacher and the board. Say hello. Make polite small talk. Do your work in class. At the end of class, you can say, "Hey, you want to exchange numbers so we can study together?" Bam. Easy. They usually want to pass the class and want friends themselves, so they usually will. This is great for many reasons:
-You now have their number for any reason you might need. Starting a polite conversation over text may be easier for you than a face to face conversation. I know communicating through writing is easier for me.
-You can ask this person about homework or missed classes and you actually do have a study buddy. Great for when you're overwhelmed.
-Studying or eating together is a great way to get to know each other better.
-You may have similar interests or even be in the same major, which could be why you're in the same class. Also, you can talk about your class when you're at a loss for conversation.
-You have an established seat now next to someone you know and trust more than a random stranger, which is great for reducing anxiety in class!
-You're in the front, which is awesome, because people in the front tend to do better in school. (Yes, I know, correlation does not equal causation, but it's easier to focus and it will be easier to get your professor to recognize you.)
Hopefully this method helps you as much as it does me. I've met some great friends and mentors this way.


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Antigone2J
Butterfly
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Joined: 7 Nov 2018
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 10
Location: Serbia

10 Nov 2018, 4:43 pm

It's not that easy as in high school in my opinion, because in college most of the people either hang out in groups (I don't know if it is a common aspie trait, but I can't communicate in groups at all) or they have a boyfriend/girlfriend with whom they spend most of their time.
Maybe you could try to approach to someone who doesn't seem very sociable right in the beginning of the semester and make him/her your friend...



Pyromanic
Blue Jay
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Joined: 22 Nov 2018
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24 Nov 2018, 11:25 am

Friendships are happenstance. I never sought out them, they just came to me and I took them. Some didn't last, some are still going but I usually don't seek them out.


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inkgirl
Blue Jay
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Joined: 12 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 76
Location: United States, VA

15 Jul 2019, 12:31 am

Try talking to people about school work, that way you have something in common. Also, if you are taking any interesting subjects, you can find like-minded people to discuss your passions and interests. But most of all, be friendly and polite. Talk to the classmate sitting next to you.