Increased intellect making up for lack of experience?

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Okay, like, I'm "behind" if there is such a thing, when it comes to romance and dating... I have a much more energetic, less experienced, kinda impulsive, younger way of looking at it all... my increased intellect will compensate for skills not socially learned... hopefully... can any of you relate?

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Can't relate. I didn't get the increased intellect. You're very lucky.

Increased intellect is usually a social barrier, not a social advantage. If you're dating you'd best keep that intellect to yourself.

My best dating experiences were when I was younger, more stupid and care free.

With some guys it will carry some weight and make up for some lack of social skills as long as you handle it correctly, ie that you're not too arrogant, lecturing etc.

I didn't mean literal intellect, or memorization of "facts" rigidly. I meant like just using your own intelligence to figure things out, flexibly.

Yeah I get what you're saying now. It took me a long time to learn social things that came naturally and more quickly to most.

I feel like I'm actually emotionally mature enough now I'm in my 30s, unfortunately everyone got paired up in their 20s and there's no one left now.

I was just thinking yesterday about how I used to go to parties occasionally when I was younger or hang out with friends and I'd meet loads of single guys. Now there are never any single guys my age.

Hahaha, imagine how those of us in our 50s feel now. Derp.

We don't know how many of us there are. There are a lot of "older" people who are alone. We should find each other.

You can't use logic for something that isn't logical.

What I meant by logic is flexible intelligence, not rigid rote methods for logic.

We Spectrumites, naturally, think "inflexibly logical." We have to learn intellectual flexibility. We have the ability to learn it.

The only thing that can make up for inexperience is experience. There's no substitute.

Getting experience is painful. Understand right away that experience is a LEARNING experience and a long process. There will be a lengthy chain of rejection and disappointment at first. Eventually you'll figure out the basics, the right guy will come along, you'll go out on ONE date and never see him again. Sooner or later, you'll get 3 dates with a few different guys. And then there will be that one guy you see twice a week and you don't have time for anyone else.

You'll fall in love and he'll break your heart.

And you'll start all over again.

EVENTUALLY you'll get a guy to marry you and you'll make lots of babies. It may take you a while to appreciate the journey, but you'll be glad for it.

That's just how experience works.

The best advice I can give you is trust your instincts. I almost married a girl once, partly because I felt guilty and responsible for being her first bf and everything. Didn't want to hurt her after all we'd been through, but we were falling apart. She married her next bf a little over a year later. I dated another totally inexperienced girl while in grad school and she was a college freshman, and I had serious doubts about her not having been with anyone else because of how she, um..."responded physically." I was only my wife's 3rd bf, though she did see other guys while we were apart. So, I mean, it's not like inexperience is really going to kill your chances. You just have to make up your mind and go for it.

You can kinda get experience in your head after a while if you have gone a long time with no experience. From thinking, letting your feelings run wild, hearing stories and watching others. And yes, I do advocate trusting one's instincts. That was kinda my whole point.

We do exist, but we can be hard to find in the places that you are probably looking at for one reason or another. If you vary your searching areas, you may be more successful in your chances.

Here is an example for you to ponder over: I recently had a woman hit on me because she found out I spend the majority of my time teaching in a laboratory setting. It literally threw me for a loop, as I was not expecting it. Never thought that would be a turn on topic for anybody. Usually, that information makes women run away fast (queue mad scientist laugh here).

BTW: She knows that I am not going to be rich as a teacher, so it is not money that she is after.