i was thinking about this topic earlier today before i saw it here, and so it is somewhat of a coincidence that i saw this.
my "girlfriend" (it is complicated) Tammy found a new boyfriend about 4 months ago and she is now completely sick of him.
i would never have sex with her, and i never showed any real "lovey dovey" emotions toward her, and she felt unfulfilled.
she felt i was her "boyfriend", but in reality, i was the only person on earth who she has a deep connection with despite our very disparate intelligence's.
she has a rather low IQ, but her low IQ is more a manifestation of other problems she has rather than an innate inability for cognition.
anyway, she found a guy who was 6 ft 3 inches tall and muscly and also was completely physically attracted to her and was eager to be her boyfriend.
she was overjoyed and i was also happy for her, and i live 100 miles away from her, so she rarely ever came to my place anyway.
every time she came to stay with me for the weekend, i provided all the entertainment for her. i had many things i had found in the previous months that i wanted to show her.
i played her songs i had composed, and rare footage of her musical idols on youtube, and a whole host of other goodies.
she was always promoted to intelligent attention by the way i presented these stimuli to her.
she does get sleepy easily, and i just let her go to bed without any complaint when she desired to do so, and i got on with other things after she went to sleep.
but she never felt that it was like a husband and wife thing, because when i finally came to bed, i just went straight to sleep.
anyway, this new boyfriend accepted her invitation to come and stay at her house (with her mother also living there) which i never did, and he had sex with her and hung out continuously all weekend. this happened often for the first 2 months, but she tired of him, and when she rang me up (as she continued to do multiple times every day) she said things like "he's just totally useless. he's so f*****g boring!!"
she explained that he never did anything. he just sat on the lounge watching sport on the TV while nibbling on snacks.
he never stimulated her mind in any way. she saw him as a kind of a giant parasite.
she tells me "no one knows me like you do", and i say "yeah i know". i never felt threatened by her new boyfriend (who was incidentally very jealous of her long phone calls to me).
so that got me to thinking there are social providers, and social parasites.
but there has to be a balance.
when you think of a room with 6 friends who are all just sitting around saying stuff like "yeah...f****n cool hey?" and no one taking any initiative to inspire excited thought, then you get that foul quagmire of boredom that many people just immerse themselves into for no reason other than to ameliorate "loneliness".
but sometimes, there are a few "live wires" (as it were) in the same gathering, and then it becomes contentious as to who has the stage.
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personality problems can come into play as well.
in my case, i see a small social gathering (especially if it is at my house) as an opportunity to inspire curiosity and sensational satisfaction of that curiosity with things i wish to show them.
i am blind to their mindsets.
some people describe me as like a teacher dictating a personally defined curriculum that i wish my audience to learn.
i go into a socially blind "elaboration spiral" of logical dissemination of notions that i have instilled in their heads.
anyway, it is entirely non reciprocal. that makes me seem like a ranting fool to many people who get tired of being suppressed in their contribution to a gathering that i am participant in, and they just leave.
so it definitely has it's drawbacks. to be an oracle of sorts is to consign one's self to the deprivation of social connection with "souls"
is there an element of narcissism in this? i wonder.