Socializing is just entertaining other people

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Sometimes I feel like socializing is all about entertaining other people, because it's rarely fun to me to listen to what they say. Instead I'm constantly thinking about the next thing to say so they don't get bored, while I feel bored at least 90% of the time I speak to them (NTs specially, I have a few aspies friends online and I can talk to them for hours).

Honestly, this isn't fun and this is very draining to me, and that's why I don't chase social interactions. Yet I know that by not chasing them I don't have the benefits of being social, which are basically sexual partners and maybe, if really lucky, meet someone who is actually interesting and so we can share some interests and things.

What do you have to say about it?

IDK if I don't have much to add to a conversation I usually don't say anything. If people are talking about something I don't care about I just do my own thing. If there is a topic I am interested in than I might join in, but if anything I have the problem of coming up with too much to say and have to try not to cut people off so they can say what they want. My social circle though doesn't have a lot of 'normal' people we're all a bit different..so certainly a more interesting bunch to interact with.

That said not sure what you are getting at with the second part...people you socialize with aren't necessarily going to become sexual partners. Being social and looking for sex partners isn't really quite the same thing, I mean sure in being social you can meet people that could be interested in that but that is not the end all purpose of interaction.

I think you may be right, and I think everyone has different tolerance levels for socializing.

Here are things I enjoy: journal writing and occasionally poetry, reading often, spending time with animals, the peaceful awesomeness of being in nature, listening to music, being artistic, spending time with my cat, children.

I do not enjoy sitting around and talking. I can listen to someone else for a moderate amount of time if they are not loud and if they let me talk too. Someone bent on soliloquy will not get to converse with me much in the future. I am quiet and gentle and kind and I prefer the same in the other I am speaking with.

Now just because society prefers a certain type of person, does not mean that if you are different that you are wrong or bad. Personally, with much of the world in the shitter, I'd think the preference toward a different kind of person would be apparent and wanted, even needed. Don't beat yourself up.

Oh but I will say, if I have to socialize, which I try to do as little as possible, I have found it helpful to google 'how to make small talk' beforehand. I succeeded with flying colors my last time doing this!

there are some good articles at 'succeed socially' you may like to read: http://www.succeedsocially.com/articlesconversation
I opened up the category 'conversation' and the topics I linked you to came up but there are many other topics on the right hand side of that page.

Years ago, when I wasn't doing much of anything that could be considered normal and everyday, it was very hard for me. I felt as though I would never have anything to talk about with normal people. Today, as my life expands, I find it much more fun. I don't like gossip, complaining or talk about certain pop culture celebrities, those who are famous merely for being famous.

If socializing is just entertaining other people, then I make a heck of a good entertainer AND entertainment.

Which is true enough, it's the social skill that requires charm.
The 'charm' permits 'oddity', of 'standing out', and it itself is kinda required to become popular..
Then there's another, of keeping up with said popularity.


But 'entertaining' as a social skill isn't the kind of social skill I'd sought...

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Talk to people with similar interests. Things will come more naturally then.

What's wrong with entertaining other people?

Some people didn't get it. I meant that I have absolute no interest in socializing, although sometimes it's not bad, it is still draining. I never chase it, it never feels like "omg I wanna do that again, I gotta call these people to meet with them and socialize".

So when I do it, it's just because I have no other option (an important event). And for me it's all about not letting that awkward silence taking place for too long, so I'm just there thinking about things to ask etc. It's not fun, it's just "I can't make this boring". It's like a game I don't like to play.
So giving me tips on how to make small talk is like saying "just get better at doing this thing you hate".

About the sexual partner stuff, I was refering more to going out on datings. Maybe I should have been more clear on my previous post.
Well the man is the one who have to keep the conversation, he is to one who is supposed to make things interesting, etc. And it just sucks, I hate how this dating stuff is for a man on the spectrum.
So, sorry girls, but you probably won't understand this part of my rant.

That couchsurfing person that Antigone listened to could have been Aspie! LOL

Aspies have the reputation of not knowing when to quit talking when people aren't interested.