Socializing is just entertaining other people

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I get it. Sometimes I wish I had "normal" emotions, though .

I sense that you actually do, Stampy.

Truthfully, not too many kids are in touch with their emotions when they are 13.

What's strange about our relationship is my family thinks she controls me and her family thinks I control her which I find bizarre as neither of us thinks we are controlling

LOL....Families are trips, aren't they?

Oh yeah , I could write a psychological thriller based on true events

I think I do have "normal" emotions- I just don't know how to express them in a way others will understand.

I know what you mean. Sometimes kids start crying and I have no idea how to react- it makes me seem as if I don't care, but I do. I hope I don't come across as unfeeling to them.

It's hard for anybody to react "properly."

Some kids who are crying want to be left alone. Other kids who are crying need to be reassured, and to know somebody cares.

It's all so confusing .

Thanks for your advice though, kraftie .

It's hard for me, too.

Sometimes, I see a baby cry, and I want it to stop crying. I have to restrain myself, though. Parents, especially in the New York City Subway, think that you should "mind you own business" and not talk to the kid, or try to quiet the kid down. It might be a "privacy" thing with them.

Why do parents think that if you are just trying to help out?

For many reasons. For example:

1. They just like their privacy.

2. They might be shy with strangers.

3. They think the kid will become overstimulated.

4. A few might even think you want to kidnap their kid.

Wow, kidnap a kid in a subway? Does that happen often or something?

I understand why parents may not want more help now, except for the last reason.

5. It's the New York Subway - no social interaction allowed

It happens very rarely. But people are still wary.

i was thinking about this topic earlier today before i saw it here, and so it is somewhat of a coincidence that i saw this.

my "girlfriend" (it is complicated) Tammy found a new boyfriend about 4 months ago and she is now completely sick of him.

i would never have sex with her, and i never showed any real "lovey dovey" emotions toward her, and she felt unfulfilled.
she felt i was her "boyfriend", but in reality, i was the only person on earth who she has a deep connection with despite our very disparate intelligence's.

she has a rather low IQ, but her low IQ is more a manifestation of other problems she has rather than an innate inability for cognition.

anyway, she found a guy who was 6 ft 3 inches tall and muscly and also was completely physically attracted to her and was eager to be her boyfriend.

she was overjoyed and i was also happy for her, and i live 100 miles away from her, so she rarely ever came to my place anyway.

every time she came to stay with me for the weekend, i provided all the entertainment for her. i had many things i had found in the previous months that i wanted to show her.
i played her songs i had composed, and rare footage of her musical idols on youtube, and a whole host of other goodies.
she was always promoted to intelligent attention by the way i presented these stimuli to her.
she does get sleepy easily, and i just let her go to bed without any complaint when she desired to do so, and i got on with other things after she went to sleep.

but she never felt that it was like a husband and wife thing, because when i finally came to bed, i just went straight to sleep.

anyway, this new boyfriend accepted her invitation to come and stay at her house (with her mother also living there) which i never did, and he had sex with her and hung out continuously all weekend. this happened often for the first 2 months, but she tired of him, and when she rang me up (as she continued to do multiple times every day) she said things like "he's just totally useless. he's so f*****g boring!!"
she explained that he never did anything. he just sat on the lounge watching sport on the TV while nibbling on snacks.
he never stimulated her mind in any way. she saw him as a kind of a giant parasite.

she tells me "no one knows me like you do", and i say "yeah i know". i never felt threatened by her new boyfriend (who was incidentally very jealous of her long phone calls to me).

so that got me to thinking there are social providers, and social parasites.

but there has to be a balance.
when you think of a room with 6 friends who are all just sitting around saying stuff like "yeah...f****n cool hey?" and no one taking any initiative to inspire excited thought, then you get that foul quagmire of boredom that many people just immerse themselves into for no reason other than to ameliorate "loneliness".

but sometimes, there are a few "live wires" (as it were) in the same gathering, and then it becomes contentious as to who has the stage.
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personality problems can come into play as well.

in my case, i see a small social gathering (especially if it is at my house) as an opportunity to inspire curiosity and sensational satisfaction of that curiosity with things i wish to show them.

i am blind to their mindsets.

some people describe me as like a teacher dictating a personally defined curriculum that i wish my audience to learn.
i go into a socially blind "elaboration spiral" of logical dissemination of notions that i have instilled in their heads.

anyway, it is entirely non reciprocal. that makes me seem like a ranting fool to many people who get tired of being suppressed in their contribution to a gathering that i am participant in, and they just leave.

so it definitely has it's drawbacks. to be an oracle of sorts is to consign one's self to the deprivation of social connection with "souls"

is there an element of narcissism in this? i wonder.

Actually, I didn't think so at that time. But I'm not sure anymore... I mean, we're talking about IT/tech people