Why is it harder for men in this case?

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My friend was saying last night "you can be not the best looking woman in the world and still get plenty of dates and male attention. But if your not the best looking man in the world it will be harder to get female interest and dates.


Why do you think this is the case with men compared to women?

It's not.

Quite the rabbithole of a question, if I were to break down all the variables going into this, it would take me... a while.

But if I were to try to boil it down: Women are way more selective than men.

It isn't. Just because your friend says a thing it doesn't make it true.

Again I shall cast my hand towards all the single women I know who have no one interested in them. Look they exist. All sorts too. Varying degrees of attractiveness and levels of social skills. They're not even rejecting anyone, they've got no one to be fussy about because no one is interested in them.

I know quite a few not handsome men who are in relationships. Which feels mean to say

All I have to do is look at my Facebook friends list to know that men who don't look like super models (and are not rich) can and do get girlfriends/wives.

Most people are average-looking. That's why it's called "average-looking." Average-looking people tend to end up with other average-looking people.

That's basic common sense.

Yup. If a guy is sitting home alone simply because the supermodels aren't flirting with him, he might need to broaden (not lower) his standards a little. Maybe more than a little. Could be he's just not in their league. So he should find a league he's qualified for, and stop living in a fantasy world.

Honestly, and I know I'm going to be accused of stereotyping here, but I'm speaking only from personal experience, not from any social consensus - the "model-types" fall roughly into three categories -

1) Dumb and superficial, interested only in guys with lots of money - or -

2) Smart, but goal-driven and completely uninterested in relationships (often completely unaware that they are beautiful). This second type will usually end up marrying somebody else in their professional field - or -

3) Religious zealots, interested only in other religious zealots, and having babies.

There's the occasional emotionally damaged wanton slut, but you don't want that baggage, either.

People who are more average-looking ("pretty" or "cute" IMO the sexier look, anyway) tend to also be more well-adjusted mentally. Again, this is not a worldwide statistical average, compiled by expert researchers, just the result of years of personal encounters. Make of it what you will.

Let's be more specific here.

Women have an easier time finding a man who will have sex with them. Not a man to have a loving, committed relationship with, or who will marry them, and quite frankly, sex is cheap. How would you feel if men started flirting with you and the majority of them who did this only did this because they want to use you to satisfy their sexual urges?
You might think "Well I'm a heterosexual guy so I would be more disgusted by this than a heterosexual woman," but that's actually not the case. Heterosexual women are just as disgusted by the thought of some random guy using them merely for sex as a heterosexual man is.

What makes the emotionally damaged category of modeling type women sluts and the other three catagories not sluts?

I am mildly curious.

Why aren't heterosexual men as disgusted at the thought of some random woman using them merely for sex then?

We are speaking in general terms of course. I'm sure some do. However overall, human males have 7 times the testosterone level as females and about 7 times the libido. Females mammals can only reproduce a few times per year to every few years, while male mammals can theoretically reproduce more than once per day. Males who had a greater propensity towards sex and who were more successful in that endeavor passed on those genes which made them so at a greater rate than males who were not as interested or successful for some reason. The result is, human males have stronger and more frequent desires for sexual relations than human females.

Hmm I dunno if that explains it completely. What about females with a high libido who also want a loving relationship? They won't want random dudes either. I don't want randoms. I want an emotional connection.

There will occasionally be females with higher than usual libidos due to natural variation. However females with libidos as high and persistent as males remain the exception because of significantly less selective pressure.

There are females who's testosterone levels overlap with that of males, however both the male and female in this intersection range may be suffering from conditions such as polycistic ovary syndrome in females and hypogonadism in males.

The normal range of testosterone in men is 300ng/dl to 800ng/dl. Normal testosterone levels in pre-menopausal women is 15ng/dl to 70ng/dl.

Progesterone and estrogen may also play a part in libido in females but this is still poorly understood. The precursor to testosterone is also a precursor to estrogen.

I would guess our basic reproductive instincts differ. Our chemical makeup influences how we view reproductive opportunities. I would guess at a very basic level females are looking for a mate that is dependable with a good immune system to help raise young while males are looking for a healthy female that would bear a healthy child. I would imagine males that are repulsed by casual sex are the minority because our most basic instinct is to spread our genetic material while higher thought processes may get in the way of that sex drive. Just working on intuition here, I could be wrong.

Lots of guys will actually bail out if that happens, despite what they say.

...Because, Ja??? ~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCxrZmdPhd4

A lot will. Men aren't all about sex. But that doesn't change the fact that if a man and woman both stood there with a sign advertising casual, no strings attached sex, the woman would have a very long line of heterosexual men and the man would have a few gay men and a handful of prostitutes wanting to charge him for his service.