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Marknis
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23 Jul 2017, 1:36 pm

I am not sure if this should go here or in the social skills area. Please move it if that's the case.

From what I've read about the "psychosocial moratorium", it's a time when teenagers or adolescents figure out social skills for interactions beyond basic friendships as well as who they are or atleast get to experiment with different "masks". I didn't really get to do that because my parents kept me cooped up in the house a lot, even during summer, and wouldn't let me drive a vehicle until I was about 21 so my interactions with peer groups was restricted. I feel like I missed out on an important developmental milestone in my life and because of that I was pushed into adulthood without being ready so to say. But is there an adult equivalent of the moratorium? Even though I missed out on the one psychologists refer to, is there still hope to learn social rules beyond basic friendships?



starkid
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27 Jul 2017, 8:58 pm

I've never heard that term before. I'm fairly sure most people would simply call that "adolescence."

Of course there is still hope, but learning and dealing with people who have already learned may be difficult depending on how old you are. People can be cruel and not understanding towards someone who seems naive and socially immature.



Marknis
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08 Aug 2017, 9:04 am

I forgot I posted this.

I feel like I am a lost child who needs some guidance but because I am physically mature, I don't get the same support a child would. I am 29 now and it feels like I am seen as a lost cause.



This_Amoeba
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08 Aug 2017, 9:42 am

^I feel the same way about myself



IstominFan
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10 Aug 2017, 9:44 am

I'm 52 and, although I have made significant improvements in my life and people generally like me now, I still feel like the dumb one in the room when it comes to everyday life. I have plateaued in my quest toward a full, independent life. I feel that some goals may never be reached, but I will keep trying.



CharityGoodyGrace
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12 Aug 2017, 12:05 am

I thought "psychosocial moratorium" sounded like "realizing everyone is different but also the same and being more accepting of people". That's what it sounds like.



IstominFan
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13 Aug 2017, 9:29 pm

CGG,

Your way of explaining it sounds more like plain English to me. The other term sounds like psychobabble to me.



Marknis
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14 Aug 2017, 10:34 am

I turned 29 recently and I wake up every day feeling like my time is running out. Trying to get out of the rut has been very disappointing and discouraging for me.



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15 Aug 2017, 5:34 pm

Marknis wrote:
I turned 29 recently and I wake up every day feeling like my time is running out. Trying to get out of the rut has been very disappointing and discouraging for me.


Try being 54


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Marknis
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15 Aug 2017, 6:09 pm

Voxish wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I turned 29 recently and I wake up every day feeling like my time is running out. Trying to get out of the rut has been very disappointing and discouraging for me.


Try being 54


I already feel that way. My energy level sucks, I have weak muscles, my hair is thinning in the front, my voice is soft, and my mind feels foggy a lot.

I feel like the depression is making me age quicker and I'll die soon.



AquaineBay
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15 Aug 2017, 8:49 pm

I feel old myself. A psychosocial moratorium for adults sounds like it would be great! I could use something like that as my social skills are terrible! Through out my life I was mainly ignored and when I did talk to someone I really didn't have much to say or couldn't keep them interested.

I wish someone could help me, I went to a local card shop(I like playing things like Yu-gi-oh) and even though it had things that I like to do I still made no friends.

Then I ask someone for advice(and then my most hated answer is said) "You just have to go out and keep trying!" In my head I think (What the heck do you think I was doing!?)
Or my second most hated response"You have to get out your comfort zone, sometimes you won't like it but you have to"(paraphrased don't remember exactly) If I was successful maybe I wouldn't be in my comfort zone so much!(which is basically in the house without friends...)

It seems to me NTs cannot fathom that social skills do not come naturally to everyone! It would be nice if people gave you some usable advice instead of some generic line from a self-help book! These stupid moments on top of anxiety, depression, loneliness, etc! That place sounds like a dream come true!(Too bad everybody that has an ounce of power seems to not really care or believe autism goes away when you grow up!) But I'll stop because I can rant about this for a long time!(and I'm going to go way off topic.)

But I'm pretty sure there are none as it would cost a lot of money.(and look at paragraph right above!)


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24 Aug 2017, 4:37 pm

I don't understand what the hell it means, the words psycho sociall moratorium literally will not compute in my brain.


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26 Aug 2017, 12:38 am

If this is true, I literally missed mine at teenage years. Maybe even by choice.
I might've even never truly reached that state at all, or maybe I might when I'm at late 20s or so.

And no, I'm not sheltered nor had a strict household. At teen years, I restricted myself, not my parents.
I had enough 'exposure' since age 16 and continued all the way there until this present yet that state of mind never crossed my thoughts yet.
I'm far from 'tired' and I'm still 'waiting', I feel like I'm still 8 or 12 in the inside. So maybe I'm really not there yet anytime soon. At the same time, I don't feel like I'm running out of time which is odd.
Despite after several transitions of high school and college graduation, pre-graduation course/s, passing the legal age, and 2 years of full time job experience had passed. I don't feel like I'm wasting something, I feel like I'm just really 'waiting' for something and I don't know what it is except death itself (And no, I'm not suicidal nor that I'm eager to die yet).


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