You can't avoid conflict in your life

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Life will always have a problem. It will be up to you to find the solutions to the problems that always keep on coming. I'm sorry, but you can't avoid problems.

I almost wish I could. Conflicts are overwhelming to me.

thanks dad

You're welcome.

Problems are ok for me, because I enjoy finding creative solutions and different ways around things. Maybe it's a problem, maybe it's a challenge, or a puzzle.
Arguments serve no purpose and only stress me.
I don't believe one has to just "put up with " or "accept" or whatever the sloppy emotional arguments of others. You can live life without getting involved with that.

You really can't avoid problems. You have to be prepared to try to solve them.

You also have to be prepared to fail sometimes, and to, hopefully, learn from those failures.

Good advice . My teacher said the same thing.

I like that you used the words "challenge" and "puzzle" here. I happen to like both (especially overcoming a challenge or solving a complex puzzle). I found that looking at life's problems this way helps me to stay positive and find a solution. Agreed on the arguments! At least emotional ones, which I never engage in....ironically though people call me argumentative, which I am not - I just like exactness and accuracy How is it arguing if the intent is not to argue but to clarify?

Makese sense. I think I should have the same attitude too.

Great advice and great thoughts in this thread. I've enjoyed reading them.

Problems take work to solve... the secret is to enjoy the work, and then it's not work any more.

There are some inalienable, universal truths that you can and must keep in mind though in order to solve all these problems, though every problem is different and therefore must be taken with some degree of flexibility. Universal truths like "Everyone has feelings, whether they show it or not. No exceptions."

i think freud had the groundwork correct.

anxiety is a result of conflict.
conflicts are opposing urges in the unconscious mind that no one is aware of in their consciousness.

the psyche is broken into 3 major dimensions which are the ID, the Ego, and the Superego.

very simply, the ID is the basal desire for a return to desirelessness, or the gutteral thrust behind all urges.

the Superego is the moral brake that seeks to condemn the ID for the simple carnality of it's existence.

the Ego is the mediator between the 2 extremes.

the ego is where the bulk of consciousness is seated.

without a superego, the id just grabs anything and puts it into their mouth (the seat of the oral subset) with no other thought.

a baby who sees and wants a toy in another baby's hand will just grab it with no further consideration.

then as one matures, the superego which is instilled by parenting (all forms including teachers) causes feelings of guilt to ensue from the simple stealing of whatever you want.

the ego thinks about how to satisfy that want which is acceptable to the ID which seeks simple pleasure, and the superego which seeks moral justification.

so the whole process of life is a conflict between the ID and the superego.

psychopaths incidentally are dominated by the ID, and psychotics are dominated by their superego.

so, the concept of living means displacement from supreme satisfaction.

no one can achieve supreme satisfaction.

supreme satisfaction is eternal rest with no obligations.
that is death.

freud called it the death instinct.

when one gets hungry, there is displacement from equilibrium of sensation which causes an anxiety called hunger.
you really have to nut out what "anxiety" really is to understand this.

anxiety is displacement from infinite satisfaction. it exists in every living thing.

so one eats to remove the strong sensation of hunger which is a displacement from satisfaction.

(i will only use food in this post as the subject, but sexual desire, desire for average temperatures (not too hot not too cold) desire for sleep etc all relate to this principle)

it is all an attempt to go back to a state of desirelessness, and desirelessness can only be the case when one is dead.

so conflict is the battles going on between the ID who wants to die (by feeding every desire thus obliterating them), and superego is the lordly voice that coaxes us to live and experience unquenched desires.

whatever i am sick of typing about it.
i could talk about for ages but typing is arduous.