Do you ever feel guilty for something you didn't do?

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Ok, so that question might seem strange at first- but let me explain. Sometimes, I'll do something in a dream that I would never actually do in real life, but for some reason when I wake up if usually feel disturbed... even slightly guilty, even though I technically haven't actually done anything.

So say I have a dream about robbing a shop, and I wake up, and even though I haven't actually robbed a shop I'll still feel bad about it. Other times I'll watch a film and if I can relate to a character, it can feel like I'm responsible for what a character has done, so if someone accidentally kills someone, I might feel bad as if I had killed them, and it usually puts me off watching it because it feels like I'm witnessing myself killing someone even though I'm not.

Maybe I'm just crazy. :/

I sometimes feel guilty for things I didn't do. Somebody I don't know very well died, and I felt partially guilty it wasn't me that died. That's probably a bad example, but I can at least partially relate to what you are saying.

Millions of people die every day. You would hope that they died without pain, and, especially, they died in their sleep.

But it's fruitless to feel guilty about everybody who dies. You'll never live if you do.

I know. It's somebody I knew, but not very well. They died in a car crash. They were very young.

That's rough....if you were even just casual acquaintances with these people.

It's always a tragedy when somebody dies young.

It is rough. I hate it when someone has their whole life ahead of them and then it is taken away. Maybe that's why I don't like Autism Speaks.

LOL....I just didn't think like that when I was 13.

I bet you'll do very well in anything which you focus on.

Thanks kraftie . You'd be surprised to hear that in person I have a quote "lack of empathy". I don't respond well to others emotions.

I sense that you have the empathy, but that your "trouble" lies in how to actually bring it "to action."

Like you're confused as to whether to show sympathy, or not show sympathy. This is because some people like it, and others don't. The "default" thing to do is to not show the sympathy, so you can seem like a "hip" person.

The "disorder" in Asperger's/Autism, perhaps, lies in a relative inability to "think on one's feet" in the immediate moment. Frequently, people with autism are able to reflect later on their actions, and to know they might have done something "wrong" in the "immediate moment." And to know the "right" thing to do upon reflection.

Yeah, that seems right. I definitely care about people. I would rather just not have to deal with others problems/emotions in the present moment. Maybe I could write a letter or something like that to the person who is going through a rough time. I care, but I can't respond correctly.

Yep.....I would say that people with ASD's usually do much better with letters than with input "in the moment."

But people--especially young people--respond better to spoken expressions of sympathy than letters.

I think, as you get older and more experienced, that you will get better in the spoken, immediate expressions of sympathy and commonality (you can say you know how the other person feels because you've experienced it yourself).

True. I hope to gain more life experience before I go deciding whether or not I have "empathy". I don't know if I'll ever be able to respond "normally", though. It kills me to see somebody unhappy and I am unable to respond or offer comfort.

The thing I like about written communication is that it gives you time to think through what you want to say, sometimes you really want to explain something you can imagine, but you can't seem to find the words without writing it down or drawing it.

Not so much with emotional support though, it's more describing things I find that can be hard to do verbally, I feel like I can support people but then again people usually come to me if they want to hear me tell a joke or if they want advice on what to do, rather than emotional support. But I feel like if it was needed of me, I could probably support them. Sometimes people find my support a bit cliche though, and get annoyed if I get too philosophical on them. Others actually like it and enjoy my input, so it varies.

Yeah, I really like written communication. How about calling people? I hate the phone so much lol. Talking on the phone is my worst nightmare .

I am the type of friend that is not for emotional support . Thankfully, I have made a friend just like me who also can't offer emotional support. The friendship works out well.

But Stampy....you're only 13. You never know how good you're going to be anything. When I was 13, I only thought about the "future" in vague terms. I was only able to express sympathy in simplest terms. Kids my age thought I was stupid and immature.

Right now, it really seems like you've got potential. If you have the "written" ability, you have the "spoken" ability. The "spoken" ability will come with time and experience.

I guess it's pretty frustrating that you have the stuff in your mind---but it doesn't come out "quite right" yet. It will, eventually. It does take practice for us Spectrumites.

Yeah, I need more life experience. I'm not old enough yet to know these things. All I know is I have a little more trouble than some other people now, but that doesn't necessarily determine my future.