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C2V
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30 Jul 2017, 2:27 am

I spam this forum. Help me out here people.
Someone else recently posted that the haters in this sub-forum were the reason they felt uncomfortable at Wrong Planet. And yes, there is a bit of that in here. There are many awful, difficult things about being queer in any way, for sure. But surely there are some great, awesome, joyful things about being queer too! Maybe we don't focus on that enough.
So. Some things I find great about being queer (in no particular order) -
1. If I am attracted to someone, it doesn't matter if they are male, female, or anything else they may be inside or outside. I don't need to restrict my interest to someone with the "right" bodyparts of identification, or who plays a certain social role. If I'm attracted to them, it's for them and everything that goes with them. I can embrace people whatever they are.
2. I believe being queer makes me more open to differences and being accepting of differences in others. I may not always get this perfect, but I believe being queer helps.
3. By my very physiology, I am forced to accept that things are not always so simple, so neatly defined, so easy to understand and categorize. I am a creature of grey areas. So, I have to accept grey areas exist, and not everything will be black and white. I am not afraid of having my fundamental beliefs about reality challenged and completely re-written, because it's all already happened before. I don't always have to have everything pigeon-holed, because I cannot pigeon-hole myself. Some things are nebulous. I can cope with that. I don't need definitions for things to be what they are.
4. I get the benefit of many perspectives, because not only do I have bits and pieces from different tendencies, I am also treated differently depending on what the viewer sees and understands, at different points in life. I have been seen and treated as male, so I know what it's like to live as a man. I have been seen and treated as a woman, so I know what it's like to live as a woman. I am also often taken for genderqueer and people don't try to figure out what I "really" am, because I am not. I must be taken and treated for what I am, not what stereotype I fit into based on my gender or sexuality. I don't have to be blind to what it's like for the "other half" because sometimes I am the other half.
5. My physical body is very fluid. It's been through many different forms, and will be more in the future. It shifts and changes. And it is able to be sculpted to me, not the other way around. My form is me, rather than me being my form.
6. I get a sneaky affiliation with many different queer cultures, many of which are awesome. I especially like some aspects of gay male culture. Though I'm not technically a gay man, I am still someone who is sometimes interpreted as a man who has, and may have again, sexual relations with men. That gives me some affinity with gay men and that culture. Same for lesbian culture - I am sometimes interpreted as a woman, and have had and may have again sexual relations with women. So I'm all over that, too. :) The list goes on. I'm potentially everywhere. Many aspects of these cultures are vibrant, joyful, accepting, creative and exuberant.

That's probably enough from me for now. What else do others love about being queer?
Points from cis / hetero folks about what they like about anything queer would also be awesomely welcome.


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kraftiekortie
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31 Jul 2017, 9:55 am

Being queer does give you flexibility :D

If I had an attraction to men, I would have no problem! But, alas, I like only girls :D



Noca
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31 Jul 2017, 3:35 pm

Being bisexual gives you a much larger dating pool to pick from.


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floodwater
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21 Sep 2017, 11:52 am

i find that my relationships are more solid than most relationships i see because lgbt people are much more introspective and aware of others than typical hetero relationships.. from what i've seen :roll:


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puddingmouse
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20 Oct 2017, 9:53 pm

I'm bisexual, not queer - but here goes:

1. I think I understand men better than most women do, and that helps me in relationships with them. I was scared of men for years (but didn't have much luck with women). Over the years, I've learned to relate to them better, and I think my sexuality helped with that. I know what straight/bi men see in women, and I know what it's like to desire/be in love with a woman. I can also tell the difference between the front that men put on to be macho and what they're really like, and this is because I know they do it to impress women. I know what trying to impress women is like.
2. I think having intense feelings for other women made me a better feminist. I can't bear to watch the women I love hate themselves and live constrained lives. I hate to watch them suffer. This has in turn made me try to stop hating myself and attempt to live a less constrained life.
3. I eventually got to see through gender roles, and to disregard them. My sexuality was the impetus for that.
4. The unrequited loves (I know this isn't unique to my sexuality, but it's probably not as common an experience for straight women) taught me the difference between love, lust and infatuation. I learned that real love doesn't make any demands of the beloved.
5. Boobs
6. I think it can contribute to making someone better in bed.


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Embla
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20 Oct 2017, 11:22 pm

What a great thread! This really cheered me up.
I'm bisexual, and being boring and pessimistic as I am, I've had troubles seeing the positive sides of it. Thanks guys for changing my perspective :heart:



C2V
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21 Oct 2017, 8:39 am

puddingmouse wrote:
I'm bisexual, not queer - but here goes

Yeah I tend to lump all that in together because I don't fit any of the definitions, so just use "queer" for everything. Bisexuals (like us :mrgreen: ) included.
7. I like being unable to pigeonhole.


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