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techstepgenr8tion
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13 Aug 2017, 10:45 pm

Chronos wrote:
I didn't have this problem. That which I don't care about is irrelevant to me. If person A treated person B should be treated poorly because they did not have designer jeans, I would regard person A as illogical (one could, however, argue that the person is logical in an evolutionary sense) and lacking integrity, and would not be the quality of person I would care to associate with. I've observed that many people who care about fashion to such a degree as to attempt to impose their fashion standards on others are actually very insecure. I have no desire to meet their fashion standards.

One quick subtlety - you tend not to have many choices insofar as caring when those people are walking on your heals, throwing you into lockers, or running up behind you, shoving, and sending you and your books through the air. Even where and when it didn't come down to active bullying - you also have the situation of being in your teens with next to nothing to draw validation from aside from a particular kind of cultural sour patch that demands maximal conformity including making all the mistakes that are perceived as displays of strength.

I think we can say a lot as adults but I'm not sure we're using our heads if we throw tautologies at elementary, jr. high, and highschool kids. I try to think of where I would have found such a well of strength to stand alone as a kid and the answer is - I'm pretty sure it's fictitious and most of the solid ground I've cobbled together to stand on comes from the kind of autonomy that I've been lucky enough to enjoy in the last decade or so of my life. TBH I'm pretty sure, the me that I am at 37, if I had gone back knowing everything I know now - I still wouldn't do all that much better socially.


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Chronos
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14 Aug 2017, 5:32 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Chronos wrote:
I didn't have this problem. That which I don't care about is irrelevant to me. If person A treated person B should be treated poorly because they did not have designer jeans, I would regard person A as illogical (one could, however, argue that the person is logical in an evolutionary sense) and lacking integrity, and would not be the quality of person I would care to associate with. I've observed that many people who care about fashion to such a degree as to attempt to impose their fashion standards on others are actually very insecure. I have no desire to meet their fashion standards.

One quick subtlety - you tend not to have many choices insofar as caring when those people are walking on your heals, throwing you into lockers, or running up behind you, shoving, and sending you and your books through the air. Even where and when it didn't come down to active bullying - you also have the situation of being in your teens with next to nothing to draw validation from aside from a particular kind of cultural sour patch that demands maximal conformity including making all the mistakes that are perceived as displays of strength.

I think we can say a lot as adults but I'm not sure we're using our heads if we throw tautologies at elementary, jr. high, and highschool kids. I try to think of where I would have found such a well of strength to stand alone as a kid and the answer is - I'm pretty sure it's fictitious and most of the solid ground I've cobbled together to stand on comes from the kind of autonomy that I've been lucky enough to enjoy in the last decade or so of my life. TBH I'm pretty sure, the me that I am at 37, if I had gone back knowing everything I know now - I still wouldn't do all that much better socially.


My intention is not to invalidate the social stigma of being a social outlier for whatever reason, and the ill treatment that garners. I am merely expressing that I was both insulated from and indifferent to these things at the time. When I was bullied as a child, it often seemed random to me and I took it as face value as being the way people acted, or I surmised I must have done something wrong (though I didn't know what), and could not differentiate it from getting in trouble or reprimanded for actually doing something wrong, and I don't care about running with groups with priorities so extremely different than mine anyway.



techstepgenr8tion
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14 Aug 2017, 7:05 pm

Chronos wrote:
When I was bullied as a child, it often seemed random to me and I took it as face value as being the way people acted, or I surmised I must have done something wrong (though I didn't know what), and could not differentiate it from getting in trouble or reprimanded for actually doing something wrong, and I don't care about running with groups with priorities so extremely different than mine anyway.

In a way and to a degree it is random in that everyone gets tested by their peers and it can often have much more to do with whether they were bored, whether you did something to trigger someone's jealousy, how much they were catching on as to whether you had friends to jump in to aid you, etc..

I think the expensive clothing thing was just an instrument to an ends and, if it weren't that, they would have found something else. It seems like that kind of dog-eats-dog behavior is just about genetically stamped in most people's hardware. In that sense I think a culture is doing great anytime it can take that urge and channel it toward something healthy and/or productive rather than have people turn it against one another. It's one of the reasons I try not to knock how addicted most people are to watching professional sports or getting into team rivalries - ie. on some level they probably need it to sublimate what's in them.


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16 Aug 2017, 2:59 am

the things you see but you must shut up, it's always you, dummy
creepers coming out again, the most ill have a permanent need to prove not,
on top they want to be the deciders of norm and executioners at the same time and place,
delete much is a good strategy, pathetic #yourage
spot the sjw 8O + a round of tenfeetpoles