Bible Belt treatment of women: Why do some put up with it?
08 Aug 2017, 10:05 am
I've lived in the Bible Belt all my life and I've noticed that women tend to be treated like second class citizens but some of them seem to either put up with it or even embrace it. I just wonder why they do so? It's something that's confused me since I was a teen.
Sometimes at school I would see guys play physical pranks on their girlfriends as if they were toys or video games. They don't seem to view them as equal human beings but as objects of amusement. I was always told to be a gentleman, don't hurt women, open doors for them, and let them go first but it hardly ever led me to having friendships with them and it never lead to relationships.
I remember my older brother had one of his friends come over and a girl came along with him. I was starting to learn how to play the guitar and I tried to play something for them but I was totally ignored. The guy grabbed the girl by her arms and started pushing himself on her. She yelled out but at the same time didn't try to truly get away from the guy.
During the summer of the same year, a friend and I went to a water park. As we walked over towards one of the hang out areas, some guy was harassing his girlfriend but despite the shouting didn't try to get away from him.
I remember in history class one time, some guy I used to know said "I hate n****rs!" in regards to the subject being talked about at the time and his girlfriend told him not to say that but he told her to shut up and started pushing on her.
Even in adulthood, I still see instances of men harassing their female friends/girlfriends and they don't ever seem to make them quit. I went to a park and saw a guy grab his girlfriend, pick her up, flipped her upside down, and press her head towards the concrete while shouting "Pick it up!" about something. She could've (As well as should've) kicked him in the face but she didn't try to protect herself. I was once leaving a convenience store and saw a guy walking with two girls. He suddenly grabbed one of them by her head and started shaking her around but she seemed to tolerate it and the other girl laughed. Earlier this year, I saw a guy walking with a group of girls and out of nowhere he started throwing his hands at one of their faces. They did push him back but they let him stay around them at the same time. He and the girl he bopped on the face even embraced.
This behavior really baffles me as well as frustrates me because it makes me feel like if I want a girlfriend, I'll have to give up my individuality and become like the jerks listed above. I really don't want to because it's not in my nature to suddenly become aggressive at all. But why do some women in the Bible Belt seem to put up with this sort of behavior?
xxZeromancerlovexx
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08 Aug 2017, 10:36 am
Someone said that "word" in history class? What?! Saying that "word" even if you are joking is flat out wrong.
The whole thing of treating women like objects is very disturbing. It baffles me how some people still have that mentality.
Don't give up who you are for a girlfriend. I've tried giving up my personality for a boyfriend and it never worked.
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In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
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08 Aug 2017, 11:34 am
The whole thing of treating women like objects is very disturbing. It baffles me how some people still have that mentality.
Don't give up who you are for a girlfriend. I've tried giving up my personality for a boyfriend and it never worked.
I went to a redneck school in my final year of junior high and all of my high school years. I used to go to a religious private school but my parents removed me due to how I didn't really fit in (Unfortunately, a side effect of being there meant I had some religious brainwashing), we moved to a location farther away from the city, and the redneck school was cheaper. They didn't want me going to the city public high school because they heard stories of bad incidents that made them think it was a dangerous place to go but I know people who went to that school and they said the bad incidents were blown out of proportion. Due to being a redneck school, if you weren't "Cawcashun" (Despite how rednecks are in reality mostly Anglo-Saxon. Caucasian people would be Armenian, Georgian, Iranian, and Turkish) or "Chrishun", you were a "commie liberal devil worshipper". I was actually hazed for liking heavy metal and punk music instead of country and hip hop (Some of thr ghetto kids didn't like me but a few didn't mind me).
It's indeed disturbing. Some guys from more liberal states on the love-shy forum actually think the Bible Belt is an anti-feminist utopia and want to move here.
How exactly did that go?
12 Aug 2017, 3:44 am
I don't think what you're describing is specific to the Bible Belt. I live in Alabama myself but I've lived all over the US and what you're talking about is a nationwide problem with how men treat women. I think most women are aware that these types of circumstances are wrong, but women are taught from a young age not to fight back because it only gets worse if we do. Saying something or retaliating is often met with increased violence and aggression and women tend to be smaller, physically weaker, and easily harmed. And we know this. If you watch women in these situations, you'll often see a nervous smile or laugh because they are uncomfortable but they feel helpless to do anything about it.
As far as staying with the men after these events, it is often due to a fear of loneliness or poor self esteem. This may certainly be worse in the bible belt because many women are raised in the south believing that their worth comes from getting married and raising kids, but it exists everywhere. Women are scared to leave a person because they are scared that they might not find someone else and because they might not believe that they deserve better.
I don't think you have to be a jerk to find a partner, but I do think it's difficult in the Bible Belt if you're not religious. Many in the Bible Belt are raised to believe that a person who does not go to church is not a good person and also most social activities in the Bible Belt are directly tied to church. My guess is that your issues finding a partner are more tied to this than the fact that you're a nice guy and you treat women well. Even in the Bible Belt, most women do want a nice guy but they also want someone religious and with certain values that you likely don't hold. In fact, they may even prefer a bad guy who is religious to a good guy that is not simply because that's what they've been taught.
Sorry for the long post but I can relate to this quite a bit as I don't fit in with the culture either. I'm looking forward to the day when I can move to a different state. Maybe you would benefit from moving to another part of the country as well?
12 Aug 2017, 3:59 am
Do you think this changes at any age by any chance? And it's not a bible belt thing actually, it's a problem that has slowly began to take over a great deal of the west for sure.
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12 Aug 2017, 11:01 am
As far as staying with the men after these events, it is often due to a fear of loneliness or poor self esteem. This may certainly be worse in the bible belt because many women are raised in the south believing that their worth comes from getting married and raising kids, but it exists everywhere. Women are scared to leave a person because they are scared that they might not find someone else and because they might not believe that they deserve better.
I don't think you have to be a jerk to find a partner, but I do think it's difficult in the Bible Belt if you're not religious. Many in the Bible Belt are raised to believe that a person who does not go to church is not a good person and also most social activities in the Bible Belt are directly tied to church. My guess is that your issues finding a partner are more tied to this than the fact that you're a nice guy and you treat women well. Even in the Bible Belt, most women do want a nice guy but they also want someone religious and with certain values that you likely don't hold. In fact, they may even prefer a bad guy who is religious to a good guy that is not simply because that's what they've been taught.
Sorry for the long post but I can relate to this quite a bit as I don't fit in with the culture either. I'm looking forward to the day when I can move to a different state. Maybe you would benefit from moving to another part of the country as well?
It could be that as well as the fact I still live with my mother. My mother thinks Millenials are more forgiving in that regard but in my experience, they are just as picky as previous generations. I was turned down by a lot of girls at the two speed dating events I attended since I told them not only did I live an hour away from Austin (Where the events happened), that I still lived at "home".
I want to move out but I lack the money to do so as well as social connections and my mother is a major control freak.
12 Aug 2017, 11:02 am
Do you think this changes at any age by any chance? And it's not a bible belt thing actually, it's a problem that has slowly began to take over a great deal of the west for sure.
Some women (non-Bible Belt ones) have told me they would relate more to the bully victims but the women here tend to think if you don't fight back, you aren't a "real man".
12 Aug 2017, 11:14 am
Do you think this changes at any age by any chance? And it's not a bible belt thing actually, it's a problem that has slowly began to take over a great deal of the west for sure.
Some women (non-Bible Belt ones) have told me they would relate more to the bully victims but the women here tend to think if you don't fight back, you aren't a "real man".
That's not a bible belt problem, that's a woman problem. My advice to you, is to keep an open mind when it comes to girls, but also challenge their thinking. If you challenge hive mind thinking you will find some girls who are beyond it or willing to break past it. Otherwise you will be stuck with women who don't know what they want which leads to the treatment you described lol.
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14 Aug 2017, 11:29 am
Do you think this changes at any age by any chance? And it's not a bible belt thing actually, it's a problem that has slowly began to take over a great deal of the west for sure.
Some women (non-Bible Belt ones) have told me they would relate more to the bully victims but the women here tend to think if you don't fight back, you aren't a "real man".
That's not a bible belt problem, that's a woman problem. My advice to you, is to keep an open mind when it comes to girls, but also challenge their thinking. If you challenge hive mind thinking you will find some girls who are beyond it or willing to break past it. Otherwise you will be stuck with women who don't know what they want which leads to the treatment you described lol.
I don't really get to socialize much. I pretty much just get up, go to work, and when I get off, I am lost in the world around me.
14 Aug 2017, 4:16 pm
Perhaps you need to make some time for socializing?
The problem with where I live is that the social scene is dominated by football, alcohol, cars, firearms, and churches. I don't fit in with the culture around me.
14 Aug 2017, 4:51 pm
While living in the US deep south I found it impossible to ascertain whether the church was the building with the pulpit and the organ or the one with the end zones and the jumbotron.
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15 Aug 2017, 4:00 pm
While living in the US deep south I found it impossible to ascertain whether the church was the building with the pulpit and the organ or the one with the end zones and the jumbotron.
Some churches are old timey while others are modern. Two different packagings but the same product.
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