Knowing what to do is different than actually doing it.

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And sitting around thinking I will eventually get around to what I want to do with my life instead of actually walking in that direction is nothing more than mental masturbation.

This is not mere procrastination. This is outright refusal in all things but the illusion of intent.

This hesitation to live how I want to live is a mystery to me.

I know I will be happier if I put forth an honest effort. But I keep hesitating and telling myself that there is tomorrow. Even when I know tomorrow is promised to no living being.

I run for immediate gratification instead of working for something better than that.

And the gratification, while immediate, is not really gratification at all.

Heh. I probably should talk about this with my therapist the next time I see him. This is a way of living that no man needs to inflict on himself.

Yep...I experience this all the time.

You have to drag your arse up until it becomes habit.
There's no nice way of putting it.

I hate how right you are about that. No offense intended.

The problem for me is not getting off my ass. Making the first few steps is easy. Making it a habit after feeling the satisfaction of the first few steps is harder than it realistically should be. Complacency when things start going well is a very human reaction that is also counterproductive. In any case, I need to remind myself what I wrote here when I do well and feel tempted to coast on short term merits.