Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

Ceallaigh
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2017
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 90
Location: Colorado

11 Aug 2017, 4:18 am

Hi! I've been avoiding the whole diagnosis process with my 9yo. I have tried on several occasions over the years with no success of being actually listened to. So, I guess I'm scared. I DID make the appt. with his Dr. but it's not until late Oct. I've been searching for methods on helping him cope on my own and finally, a friend (an actual, good friend) said I needed to get him diagnosed and gave me a really good pep talk. So, I followed her advice. I'm determined to MAKE the Dr. listen, but still scared.

As for me personally, I've been ok until all this stress came up, or so I thought, and today our weekly play group just didn't happen. We both rely on it being regular. We go, kids play (and for the first time, he's been playing with the kids HIS OWN age!! :D ), and the moms chat. It just hit me really hard, and I think it hurt him too, but maybe not as much as me. I feel more protective because the one mom that COULD go decided to do something different and didn't tell me until we were in the car. {I have health issues caused by black mold in our house that we have to maintain by running a machine that helps 'kill' it since we can't get to the mold without tearing down the house. The thing is we run the machine every week while we are at the park.} We had already started the machine and couldn't just go back inside.

I'm trying SOOOO hard to teach my son that he is just wired differently than a lot of kids and that it's how God made him...on purpose. But that is REALLY hard when I just feel broken like I always have. I know in my head that there's nothing WRONG with me, that I'm like this for a reason and it's just different. I just can't seem to make my heart feel it, no matter how hard I try.

Well, I'm going to try and sleep. Thanks for letting me get that out. I feel like I really only have my hubby and that one friend who get it. Hubby doesn't want to keep hearing about it and I don't want to overload that friend, I like her.



Amity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,714
Location: Meandering

11 Aug 2017, 5:28 am

Have you looked into the procrastinaton tendencies some ASD folk have? What you have written feels familiar to me and to others I imagine :)
Stress and overthinking can lead to a loop of anxiety and analysis paralysis in my experience.
It's hard to break the habit of overthinking as it's quite useful in some situations, like reactionary problem solving in social situations.
Actions like seeking a diagnosis introduces change, which you will be able to adapt to, you have the information, you are as prepared as you can be.
I found taking short breaks during the day that allowed me to switch off and focus on something enjoyable helped to break the habit. Mindfulness is another useful skill to develop.



Ceallaigh
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2017
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 90
Location: Colorado

11 Aug 2017, 12:43 pm

I didn't realize that procrastination was an issue for ASD folks, but I guess that would kinda make sense. I am also the poster child for female ADHD so many of the sources for symptom checking are too wordy for me to retain much information. I'm wondering if there would be a benefit to ME having a diagnosis too. Your reply was very helpful, and I'm sure you are exactly right. I probably am kind of on a loop of stress and anxiety. I will have to remind myself to take mental breaks. Thank you!