Asperger's or Social Anxiety

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Hi everyone, this is my first post to the forums so sorry if I'm not in the right section.

I'm trying to determine whether I may have AS or just a social anxiety disorder. I plan on seeing a psychologist eventually and getting a proper evaluation, but I'm not sure how far I want to go in determining what's wrong with me.

To start, I don't know whether or not I showed any signs of AS when I was a child. My childhood is blurry, but it consisted of obsessive computer use from the age of 3 and a general avoidance of things like birthday parties. There were weird things that I would do as a child, such as chewing on the collar of my shirts until they were soaked and biting my family members during arguments, but I have no idea if this is considered normal childhood behavior. I have behaviors such as pacing, rubbing my fingers while I walk/stand, and squeezing my eyes which I've done for as long as I can remember, but I don't remember whether or not I had these behaviors as a child.

I've had various instances in my past that make me question whether or not what I'm suffering from is a long-term anxiety disorder, or possible AS.

One such experience was when I was around 12-13 years old. I was in San Francisco with my family, and while we were in the Ghirardelli Chocolate Factory I got completely overwhelmed at the amount of people around me that I broke out into tears. I felt an intense feeling of dread and the only thing I could thing about doing was getting outside. I've had similar experiences like this since, the most notable ones being at weddings for my family members. At my sisters wedding, I got completely overwhelmed with the music and the announcer speaking that again, I had to get outside into the open air to be by myself.

Recently, at my brother's rehearsal dinner, I was doing okay until everyone started to finish their meals. Everyone got up and started talking and it was almost as if the volume of their voices collectively began to get louder to the point where I felt threatened and was looking for a way out. I ended up walking out of the restaurant to the sidewalk to watch the cars pass by on the street to calm myself down.

It's difficult for me to comprehend making lasting relationships. My friends have always constantly changed. I don't have an issue getting close to people, but it's difficult for me to imagine having friendships with people that last an extended period of time.

It's extremely difficult for me to be in large groups of people as well. Even if I know everyone and they're all my friends, I get this intense feeling of dread and end up completely shutting down inside.

I recently took the rdos aspie quiz and scored 147/200 for my neurodiverse score, and 61/200 for my neurotypical score. I don't know how much validity this quiz has.

I'm open to any insight. Maybe I have some sort of long-term anxiety disorder, maybe it's AS.

My thoughts don't feel normal. Sometimes I get obsessive thoughts that all of my friends aren't truly my friends, but they're my friends out of pity or for their own gain.

Well, it could be both?

Many people with ASD also have social anxiety and or obsessive thoughts.

But it is good that you know well enough to retreat when you become overwhelmed. And don't feel bad about fleeing; if you become overwhelmed and you have to go...then go. better that you leave so that you can start to recover than stay there and have a complete breakdown.

I suppose you have to think about the degree of difficulty you have on a regular basis. If your symptoms are barring you from living a (somewhat) satisfactory life, a diagnosis + therapy may be helpful. I don't know where you live but the evaluations can be quite costly (mine cost $2300 even with insurance). If you feel you are able to manage your symptoms (and people on this website can be very helpful), then perhaps you should wait to get the evaluation.

hope that this is helpful

Thanks for the response. I actually brought this subject up to some of my family members today and they told me that they'd suspected I had asperger's for some time now (after learning what it was a few years ago).

I'm going to look into an evaluation at my university, as they have a counseling center with certified psychiatrists. Hopefully they can point me in the right direction.

I'm not sure to what degree it's had an impact on my life. I want to know if I have it to ease my thoughts and provide some sort of explanation, or know if I don't to look at some other options.

The biggest social issue that it's caused me is not being able to have a long-term relationship with a girl. I always thought that there was something wrong with the other person, and that's why I would get so argumentative about things with them. I think I'm realizing that it was probably just me.

Hi, and welcome : )

I experience all of the symptom you made mention of, within your original post, however, I've learned how to manage them, fairly well. I am on the spectrum, and I am diagnosed with 2 anxiety disorders, and a couple other diagnosis, one of which is sensory processing disorder. Much of what you've described is the result of sensory processing disorder. At least, in my case it is. It's great that you'll be seeing someone to help you get some answers. From there, you'll acquire Skills and tools to help you with some, if not all of your difficulties, that you've mentioned. All the best to you, going forward! : )

Thanks! I've recently started looking into SPD too. Although I'm having a lot of trouble differentiating what's normal behavior and what's atypical, particularly in children. I see that one symptom of SPD in children is clothing sensitivity. When I was younger, I would constantly stay in my pajamas. I even wore them under my clothes to kindergarten one day because I refused to change out of them. One kid pointed out that I had a Rugrats shirt on (they were Rugrats pajamas) which made me uncomfortable for some reason. I also refused to wear things like tank-tops because I hated how they felt on me.

I thought this was all normal, but according to my mom it was concerning. I was the fourth child, so she told me it was basically a "pick your battles" scenario. She was also concerned that I never wanted to have a birthday party at any age, nor did I want to go to any birthday parties for other children. Again, I've always thought this was normal. Some kids happen to just be shy, right? She told me that she never thought much about it or looked into my behaviors because things like SPD weren't very well known.

I'm really looking forward to seeing a psychiatrist though. I've never felt normal, and I want to get an understanding of myself once and for all. I'm really ashamed about some of my impulsive behaviors I've displayed in the past, or some things that I've said to people without completely understanding what I was saying or the impact it would have on them. I've ruined a lot of relationships because of this, and it's even caused me to hate myself at times.

I'm hoping that an evaluation and some kind of diagnosis will bring me peace.

Again, all of the above describes me/my experiences/past experiences, exactly, with a minor technicality related to clothing. I become incredibly, uncomfortable in loose clothing. I have to wear clothes that are fitted to my body, or I will get the heebie-jeebies which would inevitably result in significant anxiety. Birthday parties have always effected me, to a large degree. I am 51 years old, and, still have major difficultly with parties. Some things we will be able to avoid, and, some we will better manage, with the right tools.

Some of our symptoms will be unavoidable, for life, due to our brain wiring, however, with some tools and skills put in place, you will acquire the ability to reduce the intensity, and/or effects that result from our traits/ symptoms, including how we manage, within interpersonal relationships/ friendships, etcetera. Although, I'm probably not the best example of the latter, but, I am always making an effort to do a bit better. : )

Hey, How are you doing. Feels sorry to hear this that you are dealing with the Problem. But one thing is good that whether it is AS or just a social anxiety disorder. You got to know about it at an early stage. It is never too late to cure for the Problems you are facing. The things which are getting difficult to you. Don't be afraid of that situations. Like a situation you have wrote about is that It's been extremely difficult for you to be in large groups of people. Try to be in that situation till you get comfortable with it. Don't avoid these situations. There is hope that their problems can be cured. It is possible to treat social anxiety disorder with medications, such as antidepressants or sedatives. On the other hand, there are a variety of therapies which have proved very effective for large numbers of people. If this also doesn't help you then consult someone that will help you come out of your problems. Try some professional like Martine Voyance(martine-voyance.com/tarifs/), lameuse, Soirée d'inauguration, etc.