Date a Friend, Not a Stranger
This is my new idea, why not decide for yourself who you may like? Instead of actually forcefully trying to get some random person that your acquaintances suggest was your type, but in reality he/she zero interest in you or who you are. It doesn't matter who you are, or what sexuality you are, random strangers picked out for you are not your type. Added, when you say no you are not interested, and your acquaintances feel threatened by everything you do, means your acquaintances were not really your friends to begin with, but really they were looking for a show. Yeah, that's right, you going with people who crowds of strangers suggest you have in common with, are probably doing it, because it's a show. Now tell me, those random acquaintances, are they really your friends? I'm going to also say that if someone out of the blue says I have a crush on you, or tells you directly that he/she is your boyfriend or girlfriend AT FIRST SIGHT, is complete BS. A relationship rushed like that in any circumstance is not going to give you a good friendship. Marriages and relationships fall apart quickly when it is with strangers.
Get in the friendzone, and stay in the friendzone, be a real friend, and maybe you'll be a real boyfriend/girlfriend. Or better yet, try to date someone who you are romantically happy with, instead of happy for one moment, and then fighting and carrying on for years in a forced relationship. Stop letting strangers tell you who to fall in love with; it's awkward, creepy, and embarrassing for you two. To me the "I have a good feeling about this relationship" is BS too. I've been watching several divorced parents in my lifetime say "I have a good feeling about this relationship", and no, it's not true.
This would work except women generally don't move guys in friend category to date one. Normally it's stuck friend or stuck guy I want/could date in temp zone for a bit before going to stuck friend.
I've talked to lots of women it's harder for them to shift gears with guys they think of purely as friends.
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I've talked to lots of women it's harder for them to shift gears with guys they think of purely as friends.
If they're attracted to you they'll shift gears. If a somebody doesn't want to date you once they get to know you, you never had a chance of a happy relationship anyway.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 41
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Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
People usually date new friends -
but a friend whom you know for years and years yet she never shown a romantic/sexual interest toward you (you will know, usually they are very obvious and not just sublte signs) then any attempt with her would be futile.
So it's kinda futile to make a move on old friends.
but a friend whom you know for years and years yet she never shown a romantic/sexual interest toward you (you will know, usually they are very obvious and not just sublte signs) then any attempt with her would be futile.
So it's kinda futile to make a move on old friends.
I can agree with this, one of my best friends is just like me in a s**t ton of ways, but for some reason she isn't attracted to me. Mostly it's just because of her own mental hang ups but it is what it is.
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Sweetleaf
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Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
That wouldn't have worked for me, beings I don't have friends/acquaintances that were dateable. But doesn't mean I had people pick some stranger for me to go out with....I used okcupid to find guys to date, and after some failed relationship attempts, met my boyfriend.
Basically you don't have to date a friend to decide for yourself. Also wouldn't have worked for me and my boyfriend to be 'friends' first because we were both into each other romantically when we met in person. We did however wait till a few dates before we had sex, I thought it was a better idea since some of the past guys I had sex with when meeting the first time just lost interest or where leading me on to begin with.
_________________
We won't go back.
Basically you don't have to date a friend to decide for yourself. Also wouldn't have worked for me and my boyfriend to be 'friends' first because we were both into each other romantically when we met in person. We did however wait till a few dates before we had sex, I thought it was a better idea since some of the past guys I had sex with when meeting the first time just lost interest or where leading me on to begin with.
I wish some people would set me up on dates.
I couldn't have sex until least a month of talking daily with each other and having hung out in person few times. Atleast not without anxiety and regret after. Do most women expect sex within a few dates?
I feel as most women want to go faster than I do. I'm fine with texting for weeks before meeting up but I feel the women I messaged who didn't immediately reject me thought I was just stringing them along?
Since when did autistic people with zero social skills have friends to begin with?
Just because there are people with whom you are acquainted socially, who may know your name, and walk past you and smile from time to time, does not mean you actually have friends.
Do you go places with these "friends"? Do they call you out of the blue, or drop by unannounced at least once a week? Do they remember your birthday? Know your favorite bands and movies?
You can't move out of the friend zone, when you're actually still in the "creepy geek in the corner" zone. It doesn't mean "I don't think of you like that," it means "I don't think of you...who are you, anyway?"
_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out." - Bill Hicks
Just because there are people with whom you are acquainted socially, who may know your name, and walk past you and smile from time to time, does not mean you actually have friends.
Do you go places with these "friends"? Do they call you out of the blue, or drop by unannounced at least once a week? Do they remember your birthday? Know your favorite bands and movies?
You can't move out of the friend zone, when you're actually still in the "creepy geek in the corner" zone. It doesn't mean "I don't think of you like that," it means "I don't think of you...who are you, anyway?"
Or better yet, do you know what these "friends" flaws are and what their strengths are?
And no, you don't need "SOCIAL SKILLS". You need to go out in the world and talk to other people.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Just because there are people with whom you are acquainted socially, who may know your name, and walk past you and smile from time to time, does not mean you actually have friends.
Do you go places with these "friends"? Do they call you out of the blue, or drop by unannounced at least once a week? Do they remember your birthday? Know your favorite bands and movies?
You can't move out of the friend zone, when you're actually still in the "creepy geek in the corner" zone. It doesn't mean "I don't think of you like that," it means "I don't think of you...who are you, anyway?"
Harsh but true.
Just because there are people with whom you are acquainted socially, who may know your name, and walk past you and smile from time to time, does not mean you actually have friends.
Do you go places with these "friends"? Do they call you out of the blue, or drop by unannounced at least once a week? Do they remember your birthday? Know your favorite bands and movies?
You can't move out of the friend zone, when you're actually still in the "creepy geek in the corner" zone. It doesn't mean "I don't think of you like that," it means "I don't think of you...who are you, anyway?"
Or better yet, do you know what these "friends" flaws are and what their strengths are?
And no, you don't need "SOCIAL SKILLS". You need to go out in the world and talk to other people.
be interactive with them the way they would with you
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