Why are women so desperate for men?

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sly279
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12 Oct 2017, 5:11 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I'm female and have been officially single for 13 years. Love it, wouldn't have it any other way.

But don’t you talk about being with guys ? 0.o

Willingly single is probably happier then forced single. But that’s same with anything. People enjoy willingly doing stuff but not forced to.



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13 Oct 2017, 4:32 am

sly279 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I'm female and have been officially single for 13 years. Love it, wouldn't have it any other way.

But don’t you talk about being with guys ? 0.o

Willingly single is probably happier then forced single. But that’s same with anything. People enjoy willingly doing stuff but not forced to.


Those weren’t official relationships, and I was very unhappy in all of them. Having low self esteem meant you gravitated to the most abusive, horrible natured people. They put me off romantic involvement for life, and I’m extremely grateful that I at least learned, finally, what I don’t want. Better to be alone than with someone who treats you like trash.



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13 Oct 2017, 6:11 am

hale_bopp wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I'm female and have been officially single for 13 years. Love it, wouldn't have it any other way.

But don’t you talk about being with guys ? 0.o

Willingly single is probably happier then forced single. But that’s same with anything. People enjoy willingly doing stuff but not forced to.


Those weren’t official relationships, and I was very unhappy in all of them. Having low self esteem meant you gravitated to the most abusive, horrible natured people. They put me off romantic involvement for life, and I’m extremely grateful that I at least learned, finally, what I don’t want. Better to be alone than with someone who treats you like trash.


Yup. This is true.

I think a lot of people feel this way.



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13 Oct 2017, 8:15 am

It's biology, the want/need of the organism to reproduce. After menopause, I barely notice men.



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13 Oct 2017, 8:20 am

Having low self esteem meant you gravitated to the most abusive, horrible natured people. They put me off romantic involvement for life, and I’m extremely grateful that I at least learned, finally, what I don’t want. Better to be alone than with someone who treats you like trash.[/quote]


I disagree. You didn't gravitate towards them. You simply were available. Our aspie naivete draws predators directly to us. It's not your fault. Is it a steak's fault that a hungry dog ate it? The dog was hungry. The steak can't help being a delicious meal to something that has originated from the wolf. Do what you have to do to be and stay happy.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Oct 2017, 4:01 am

Dog and wolf originated from a common ancestor.
The dog originating directly from wolf is an outdated theory.



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31 Oct 2017, 3:49 pm

Some guys are like that to cuz I'm a guy who's the same way. I'm pretty clingy & needy within a relationship & LOVE spending time with my partner. She's the one person who really accepts me & I feel I can be my true self around.


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Richardf269
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31 Oct 2017, 8:08 pm

Chronos wrote:
MSBKyle wrote:
I know several women who can't live without a man. They act like being in a relationship or married to a man is the only thing that will make them happy. Whenever a man leaves a woman or when a woman is alone, she is depressed and acts like it is the end of the world. I don't understand why women are so clingy. Yes, going through a breakup or being alone may not be pleasant experiences to some people, but there is more to life than having someone by your side 24/7. It seems that women can't accept themselves unless they have a man.



Same for men. Many men can't live without a woman. In fact, in my observation, men get more upset and more depressed about being single than women do. But the fact of the matter is, some people really just don't like being alone. For some people, being alone is one of the worst things in the world for them, and even a toxic relationship is more appealing to them than being alone. As for break ups, in my observation men take break ups harder than women. As to why are women so clingy....some women are clingy, as well as some men, but when men are clingy, society doesn't call them clingy, society calls them "possessive" and "jealous".

MSBKyle wrote:
When a woman starts dating a man, she expects him to propose to her shortly after they have started dating. Women seem to want to rush into things instead of taking the relationship slow and getting to know the man.


I'm not sure where you get this idea. I think how quickly people start to consider marriage depends on many factors, such as how much they like the other person, their age, and where they are in life. For example, in one's early 20's, in the west, most men and women are not ready for marriage and would not, at that point in their lives, consider marrying their partner. Men tend to start thinking about marriage slightly past their mid 20's, which is when women tend to also start thinking about marriage, and people in their late 30s, both men and women, are more likely to be looking for marriage. When I go on dating sites, most of the men in my dating pool are in their mid to late 40s and are looking for marriage. The difference is, a women in their 30s who want children may, on average be looking for marriage more than a man in his 30s who eventually wants children, because she has less time to have children, so she may be more likely to want to get to the point, whereas a man may feel he has more time to "play the field".

MSBKyle wrote:
I think that the reason women have a hard time finding a man is because many of them are clingy, desperate, and want to marry the first guy they meet. Unless women start changing their ways, a lot of them will end up alone for the rest of their lives.


In my observation, women who are clingy are more likely to find a man and marry him. I preset as evidence, myself vs. women with borderline personality disorder.

I'm not a clingy person. I prefer a lot of time to myself. Women with borderline personality disorder are the epitome of clingy because people with borderline personality disorder rely on others to give them a sense of self. People with borderline personality disorder also tend to create stormy, toxic, abusive relationships due to their emotionality, paranoia, and perpetual fear of abandonment. I'm sure you have hear of those women who stay with abusive men who hit them and wonder why (some of these women have BPD but that's not what I'm getting at) there is a parallel for men. Men who stay with abusive women with BPD.

On this message bored, most of the people posting about the problems they have with their spouses are women with partners they think have AS.

However there are message boards geared towards BPD where most of the people posting about their spouses are men who believe their wives have BPD. After reading some of the horrors these men have been subjected to, one starts to ask "Why do these men stay with these abusive women". The men provide an answer to this question. Because, via their clingyness, the women made the men feel like they were the most important person in the world, and the attention they bestowed upon the men made the men absolutely enamored with them.

The lesson: Women who give men a lot of emotional and sexual attention don't have a hard time getting men for any type of relationship.

I'm going to be single for a long time.


Yeah, you are completely right. I've been without a girlfriend since HS (I'll be 35 in May) and I have to say I'm a very very lonely individual. I've been depressed for a long time, and having a woman around me I've felt is about the only thing that honestly makes me feel happy. For a long time the only thing I truly wanted since HS is a life-time female partner, but once they start to get to know the real me, they often times just see me as desperate or very lonely, clingy, weird or "too passive". It honestly sucks being alone, and I just want to find someone. I don't want to grow up into a depressed old man like my father is.



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31 Oct 2017, 11:23 pm

Richardf269 wrote:
Chronos wrote:
MSBKyle wrote:
I know several women who can't live without a man. They act like being in a relationship or married to a man is the only thing that will make them happy. Whenever a man leaves a woman or when a woman is alone, she is depressed and acts like it is the end of the world. I don't understand why women are so clingy. Yes, going through a breakup or being alone may not be pleasant experiences to some people, but there is more to life than having someone by your side 24/7. It seems that women can't accept themselves unless they have a man.



Same for men. Many men can't live without a woman. In fact, in my observation, men get more upset and more depressed about being single than women do. But the fact of the matter is, some people really just don't like being alone. For some people, being alone is one of the worst things in the world for them, and even a toxic relationship is more appealing to them than being alone. As for break ups, in my observation men take break ups harder than women. As to why are women so clingy....some women are clingy, as well as some men, but when men are clingy, society doesn't call them clingy, society calls them "possessive" and "jealous".

MSBKyle wrote:
When a woman starts dating a man, she expects him to propose to her shortly after they have started dating. Women seem to want to rush into things instead of taking the relationship slow and getting to know the man.


I'm not sure where you get this idea. I think how quickly people start to consider marriage depends on many factors, such as how much they like the other person, their age, and where they are in life. For example, in one's early 20's, in the west, most men and women are not ready for marriage and would not, at that point in their lives, consider marrying their partner. Men tend to start thinking about marriage slightly past their mid 20's, which is when women tend to also start thinking about marriage, and people in their late 30s, both men and women, are more likely to be looking for marriage. When I go on dating sites, most of the men in my dating pool are in their mid to late 40s and are looking for marriage. The difference is, a women in their 30s who want children may, on average be looking for marriage more than a man in his 30s who eventually wants children, because she has less time to have children, so she may be more likely to want to get to the point, whereas a man may feel he has more time to "play the field".

MSBKyle wrote:
I think that the reason women have a hard time finding a man is because many of them are clingy, desperate, and want to marry the first guy they meet. Unless women start changing their ways, a lot of them will end up alone for the rest of their lives.


In my observation, women who are clingy are more likely to find a man and marry him. I preset as evidence, myself vs. women with borderline personality disorder.

I'm not a clingy person. I prefer a lot of time to myself. Women with borderline personality disorder are the epitome of clingy because people with borderline personality disorder rely on others to give them a sense of self. People with borderline personality disorder also tend to create stormy, toxic, abusive relationships due to their emotionality, paranoia, and perpetual fear of abandonment. I'm sure you have hear of those women who stay with abusive men who hit them and wonder why (some of these women have BPD but that's not what I'm getting at) there is a parallel for men. Men who stay with abusive women with BPD.

On this message bored, most of the people posting about the problems they have with their spouses are women with partners they think have AS.

However there are message boards geared towards BPD where most of the people posting about their spouses are men who believe their wives have BPD. After reading some of the horrors these men have been subjected to, one starts to ask "Why do these men stay with these abusive women". The men provide an answer to this question. Because, via their clingyness, the women made the men feel like they were the most important person in the world, and the attention they bestowed upon the men made the men absolutely enamored with them.

The lesson: Women who give men a lot of emotional and sexual attention don't have a hard time getting men for any type of relationship.

I'm going to be single for a long time.


Yeah, you are completely right. I've been without a girlfriend since HS (I'll be 35 in May) and I have to say I'm a very very lonely individual. I've been depressed for a long time, and having a woman around me I've felt is about the only thing that honestly makes me feel happy. For a long time the only thing I truly wanted since HS is a life-time female partner, but once they start to get to know the real me, they often times just see me as desperate or very lonely, clingy, weird or "too passive". It honestly sucks being alone, and I just want to find someone. I don't want to grow up into a depressed old man like my father is.


I'm sure there's just as many women in the world who feel this way as men!! :lol:

/sarcasm

I strongly relate to how you feel about being alone.



hale_bopp
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01 Nov 2017, 1:58 pm

^ There is just as many women who are single as men, though they probably aren’t as desperate.

Biology dictates that it’s a 50/50 split between males and females. Like I said, the men wanting more sex likely causes the balance to skew.

A desperate woman might date a man who is essentially using her for sex in the form of a fake relationship. Really common.

Sucks for guys who genuinely want one.



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01 Nov 2017, 2:15 pm

I hazard a guess that a thread analysis of all the threads in this forum would suggest the converse to that suggested by the title of this particular thread.



sly279
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01 Nov 2017, 3:22 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
^ There is just as many women who are single as men, though they probably aren’t as desperate.

Biology dictates that it’s a 50/50 split between males and females. Like I said, the men wanting more sex likely causes the balance to skew.

A desperate woman might date a man who is essentially using her for sex in the form of a fake relationship. Really common.

Sucks for guys who genuinely want one.

How does biology dictate there a man for each woman? How does that take in account male twins or quadruplets. No there’s more men then women in the world.
My area alone has 3,000 more men then we have women. China has millions and millions more men then they have women.



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01 Nov 2017, 3:38 pm

That's because they killed so many female infants.



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01 Nov 2017, 3:54 pm

There are more women in the world because women live longer. If the birth rate is roughly equal and women live 10% longer than means there will be 10% more women at any given time.

Yes there are male sets of twins. There are also female sets of twins and mixed sets of twins. I don't see how multiple births will lead to more males.


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sly279
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01 Nov 2017, 4:00 pm

B19 wrote:
That's because they killed so many female infants.

I don’t believe that’s how biology works though regardless. My grandparents had 3 boys and one girl if her theory is correct they’d had 2 boys and two girls. If the theory was correct everyone would have boy girl boy girl switching each birth, but that doesn’t happen, some people will have 5 boys. There’s no scientific thing that keeps the population balanced. It’s random. And the population is never balanced. My area has more men then women, the generation in 17 and under have slightly more females then males, even still it wouldn’t make up for the deficit in the rest of the population, and the next generation after them Might have more boys then girls, it’s all random. Every nation on this planet has either more women then men or more men then women, non of them are 50/50.

China’s policy just accelerated the deficit. History has always usually been more men then women. It’s why it’s ok men die in wars, it’s why lots of men became hermits.
If anything it’s probably evolution and biology to have more men then women, creates evolutionary competition to ensure best genes win out as well as provides for variety to prevent mutations.

Either way for the theory to be correct my area would be 50/50 but there’s 3,000 more men here. That means 3,000 of us men will remain single forever. Unless 3,000 women decide to have two spouses.



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01 Nov 2017, 4:02 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
There are more women in the world because women live longer. If the birth rate is roughly equal and women live 10% longer than means there will be 10% more women at any given time.

Yes there are male sets of twins. There are also female sets of twins and mixed sets of twins. I don't see how multiple births will lead to more males.

What? There’s more men then women not the other way around, there’s always been more men then women throughout history despite wars killing mostly men.