Is this normal?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm starting to see someone, but I notice when we are in public he looks at other girls. I sometimes think he might be doing it because he might think that I'm too dull and lack sex appeal, and would rather be with someone else. I sometimes feel like he may just be dating me out of pity.

I think the more likely reason is that he does that because he's a jerk.

Men shouldn't treat ladies that way.

If he keeps doing it, I say it's time to stop seeing him, and see someone who is more worth your time.

It's pretty normal for me. I always have my eye-contact radar up, regardless if I'm with somebody or not. Has nothing to do with wanting to be with them. It's only a fun game.

I don't think he's a jerk because it seems like he would sometimes put a lot of effort into helping me. He seems pretty thoughtful too.

Maybe I'll check and see if he looks at everyone and not just girls.

Well he could be looking at their clothes if he's interested in fashion or something. Or checking everyone in case he'd run in to someone he knows. Or it could just look like he's looking at other women while he's actually just looking around because he's curious of his surroundings. Or like people have suggested, he just might be a jerk.

The thing is, no one can know for sure except him. Maybe he's looking at other women or maybe the scenery, who knows. If it keeps bothering you, you could try asking. Of course he might get insulted if he feels like you're accusing him of watching other women, but at least you should be able to get a peace of mind. After all, from what I've seen most problems in relationships could be avoided by communicating. Act before the problem gets too big.

Most men will look at girls.
And men have less peripheral vision than women, so they are more often caught in the act of looking.
It usually doesn't mean anything other than they appreciate women.

OTOH, if he's giving them long, laugishing stares, undressing them with his eyes or licking his lips, you may have a problem.

Look but don't touch, I think. If he's staring and his tongue's hanging out... that may be a bit much.

That's normal, even dr Phil does it. His wife gives him the 3 second rule.
I try not to but it just happens.

I'm single of course so I do glances , is this flirting?

I also do keep awar of who's around me for safety reasons, I'm always in yellow mode except when on the bus

Do guys actually licking lips for women?
What's undressing with eyes?

^ Licking lips is a sign of anticipation of pleasure, among other things (he could be thirsty, or nervous).
You have to take the whole body language into account.
If he's staring, leaning forward with his legs widening to expose his crotch and licking his lips, that's a body language cluster which could signify sexual desire.

(I had to study all this stuff for my job.)

Undressing with the eyes is a long, slow stare which travels up and down the body.

I e never licked my lips naturally. I've tried faking it though. Not even for food that i love.

Like pushing his crotch forward?

I hope I don't do the undressing, sadly I'll admit I've glanced few times at women's body and faces. Part of me wishes I was brace enough to approach them and compliment their hair or clothes, but that part of me is only in my internal imagination.

I think the few times I've complimented women at work it was probably odd. I'd just be like hi, your hair looks really nice today. I dont know how to naturally conversate into compliments what's the right timing etc.

I don't think of undressing women though or seeing them naked.

It is the mark of a jerk. It also means he’s not that interested.

This is normal, and it doesn't mean much when considered by itself, unless it's really excessive.

I think you should ask him what he is thinking when he does that. Make light of it as a question so he doesn't feel attacked or pressured by it. Guys aren't one size fits all, as the divergent answers here make clear. Having this sort of discussion could be your first test of how well you are capable of communicating as a couple, and how honest he is willing to be with you.

I feel it shows a total lack of empathy and respect. How would he respond if you checked out men while you were out with him? Don't even think it is somehow your fault because he is acting like such a rude jerk.

I think he's the one who's her bf now, smarties.

Generally guys look at everything. Boys, girls, that car on the street. Often they don't even realize they're doing it or that it's causing doubts for their partner. A lot of times, it's an unconscious protective instinct that's heightened whenever they're with the person they like. Their brains are cataloguing the actions and reactions of the things around them and making a mental map of sorts without them knowing. It's honestly really interesting psychology! If it's making you uncomfortable, you should ask him about it. Don't accuse it, though, or he'll probably get defensive.



....and there went my inner nerd. Oh well. Hope it helped!