You need to smile more!

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People always tell me I have a beautiful smile and when I smile it puts people at ease and makes them feel safe and good. A genuine smile will do that and if your smile is genuine, even if you are not the most attractive person, it won't matter. The heart will show through and it will put people at ease.

But, having said that, I have watched myself speak to my cousins and to an Aspie friend using whatsapp. I love whatsapp because you can see yourself as well as the person you are talking to. It was fascinating watching my nt cousin and myaelf and then watching my aspie friend and myself. The lack of facial expressions with me and my aspie friend compared to my cousin was astounding.

Every now and then my aspie friend and i would laugh or smile but a smile was rare. For the most part we were completely deadpan expressionless. My cousin's face was constantly changing expressions.

My aspie friend and I talked about this and one thing he said is that he thinks it is that way because we don't tend to learn to understand and recognize subtle expressions from birth like nts do and he thinks that because of that fact, we don't learn how to make those expressions naturally. So we will smile when we naturally feel the need to smile, when something makes us feel happy or gives us certain kinds of pleasure, but nts will smile more often because they have learned to make socially based expressions and to smile socially.

I've been told I need to smile less! I can't help it - probably makes me appear quite creepy in some awkward respect, but I can be extremely nervous around others and a smile plastered over my face is my default mode. I never really thought about it before my diagnosis but I have some trouble managing my facial expressions to be appropriate. The way I see this now is that it's as though most have an automated system that does it for them, but some have only the manual.
I've been told that a fixed/forced smile created by a person is very hard to pull off as genuine as it doesn't 'reach the eyes'.

What you say is pretty common. I will often respond with inappropriate expressions and often times my response is a very inappropriate smile or laugh. I used to smile a lot more as well because i was enjoying my own thoughts. I was reprimanded one time for smiling for no apparant reason. People used to say i was fake because i used to smile so much. But just because they could not see the reason i was smiling didn't mean there wasn't one. Sometimes i just smile because i feel good. I don't know if nts understand that concept.

Oh my goodness! I am SO tired of hearing this. I hear this at work ALL the time. I am like, leave me alone. WHY do I have to smile for you? WHY are you so concerned about me not smiling. If I am not smiling what about my face concerns you? If you are concerned why not ask me about it instead of telling me to smile? I don't understand that statement at all!

When I was a kid my (Aspie) mother used to tell me to smile in social situations. Unsurprisingly, this generated a sarcastic rejoinder. She, of course, has only ever smiled much after a few glasses of wine!