Heard the best saying ever about "mild" Autism.. Brilliant!!

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will@rd
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19 Aug 2017, 4:23 pm

No such thing as "mild autism," just different levels of coping mechanisms, that may make it appear less distressing in some, than in others.

Been saying that for years. It just doesn't fit on a greeting card as well. :?


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kitesandtrainsandcats
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19 Aug 2017, 4:30 pm

Zaarin wrote:
I also can pass for "awkward but normal," but I don't think that really makes things easier--it just makes it that much more awkward when you're really struggling to keep it together.
Do understand that. Can be metaphorized as you've been driving up a mountain and the fuel tank runs dry sooner from the extra power required.


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19 Aug 2017, 4:35 pm

anti_gone wrote:
How do you manage to do that? :lol: People never doubted my Asperger's just for one second...


Well, i'm 43 and experienced with dealing with life, have learned lots of things that facilitates day to day living. Dunno about you, it affects us all differently. I thought my non-flashy clothes and monotonous voice would be a dead giveaway.

It comes a time in all your lives when you realise you are not a kid any more and can handle things without calling your parents - i'm way past that stage. Parents who keep their autistic kids in a plastic bubble will needlessly prolong that transition to adulthood.


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anti_gone
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19 Aug 2017, 4:53 pm

Ichinin wrote:
anti_gone wrote:
How do you manage to do that? :lol: People never doubted my Asperger's just for one second...


Well, i'm 43 and experienced with dealing with life, have learned lots of things that facilitates day to day living. Dunno about you, it affects us all differently. I thought my non-flashy clothes and monotonous voice would be a dead giveaway.


I'm not severely disabled I would say (at least not by ASD, I have chronic pain issues that are worse), I have a bf, I have a master's degree, I have friends and acquaintances I meet at least once a week usually, I moved to my own flat (though I still struggle very much with keeping it tidy...) and I have a new (regular) job. I go to concerts, I go to festivals, to clubs, to bars, to parties, I throw birthday parties etc. So I would say I'm quite functioning.

Yet nobody ever doubted my diagnosis (I told many friends as well as some doctors and some strangers).
Nobody ever said I would appear normal 8O That's weird. No I'm feeling like I am weirder than many people with ASD.

(2 situations that I found quite funny:
-at a house party: Me: "I have Asperger's" other person: "Really? That's cool. I have ADHD and I always wanted to meet someone with Asperger's
-on holiday at a place where young ("alternative") students met: Other person: "I study psychology because I'm interested in autism. I'm on the spectrum myself." Me: "Cool, I am too" :lol: )



Ichinin
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19 Aug 2017, 5:21 pm

Being socially awkward and more into doing things than socialising - that would not be uncommon in a cold country in northern Europe.


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20 Aug 2017, 4:36 pm

Quote:
It just doesn't fit on a greeting card as well.


Too bad..... :D


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20 Aug 2017, 5:05 pm

I like that quote. The quote says it all for me. People could see me as not struggling, while I'm struggling with deciding whether I should trust them or not. Add anxiety, depression and gender dysphoria and I could be struggling big time. I'm still able to embrace and celebrate my autism. I'm wary of who to trust because of the crappy way that people get a kick out of treating people with disabilities, calling them ret*ds and telling them that they should have been aborted. There are also people who expect gender non-binary people to celebrate their birth genders and dress, act and have interests based on what's between their legs instead of the ways that their minds work and the genders they feel they are on the inside. Being locked away in my own apartment and not being around anybody for the rest of the day after a day at my job seems like a real treat instead of a punishment.


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20 Aug 2017, 8:07 pm

ladyelaine,

I was also a good student, and have a Master's in English. People would say there is no way I could have autism or Asperger's if I could accomplish those things.

I see your location is "surrounded by cats." I am a cat lover, too.



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22 Aug 2017, 12:16 am

When I read this specific autism saying elsewhere, I thought it was cool.


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22 Aug 2017, 12:41 am

I just had a massive argument with my mom today. One of the things she kept implying is that nothing about my Autism impairs,my life at all but that my inability to keep a job and support myself financially is because I don't want to actually work or because I don't want to go to school and learn a trade to make a living.

I am 50 years old, have been to college three different times never managing to complete any degrees, each time having to drop out of school for reasons directly because of Autism. Back then IEP did not exist, and in the 24 years of my working career, I have had 48 jobs. This year alone I have had and lost 6 jobs. I was just fired last week from my last job because of yet another case of disability discrimination three weeks in and I am still out there tring to find more work.

Does this sound like someone who does not want to work or who did not want to learn? She will completely negate and invalidate every single Autistic struggle I have and completely dismiss it because I was not diagnosed until 3 years ago and because lots of Autistics can work.

But to her, I am so high functioning that no Autistic struggle I have can possibly be real or affect me or impair me and me entire work and school history since I was 17, never being able to hold a job for longer than a few months to a year, and never having been able to make more than an average of $2,700 a year, has nothing to do with my Autistic struggles but is simply my bad decisions not wanting to learn a career or not wanting to try hard enough. And according to her, my entire history can't have anything to do with Autism because I only got diagnosed three years ago so obviously, I could not have been Autistic, disabled, impaired or affected before 2014. So it's just me being lazy and making bad decisions and not trying or wanting to succeed. According to her, I am so high functioning,how can Autism impair me at all so everything that I say is a challenge is just an excuse and because she worked hard for two years to pay for her schooling, I should be able to support myself completely.

Sorry for the rant. I'm a little pissed. And she can't understand why I had so much anger during this argument.


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ErwinNL
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22 Aug 2017, 6:01 am

Sorry to hear skibum, I struggle with explaining my problems to my parents (and others) as well, sometime I feel they understand but I have to remind them all the time. There are days that I just ignore the communication problems and nod. Luckily they do accept my diagnosis but they don't always understand.

Maybe you can try to explain that Autism is something you are born and die with. That people who are diagnosed later in life usually struggle and fight all their life to fit in but at a certain point just aren't able to adapt and cope anymore and need support from others, especially family.

And most important, it is nothing to be ashamed of!


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22 Aug 2017, 7:19 am

Thank you Erwin.
i have told her a million times that Autism is a lifelong condition that starts in the womb. i even offered to have my psychologist talk to her about me. But she is the kind of person that only believes what is convenient to prove the point she is trying to make and no matter what anyone says, nothing will change her opinion unless she has a different point to prove. She even told me once that I should not reach out to my cousins in support for their little Autistic child because I have nothing in common with him and can't possibly know what it's like to be an Autistic child since I got diagnosed at 47.


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22 Aug 2017, 9:17 am

I'm reminded of something I heard a tennis commentator say regarding Andy Murray having "minor back surgery" last year. Well, it's only minor if it isn't happening to you, fool. The same could be said of the difficulties associated with Asperger Syndrome. Even if you function well, and perhaps especially if your general function is good, you really notice the areas in which you struggle.

Of course, it could work the other way, too. Even if you generally function well, others may notice your differences. Social miscues can cause a lot of hurt feelings and awkward moments.



ladyelaine
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22 Aug 2017, 4:53 pm

IstominFan, I have a bachelors degree, but most people are in shock when they find out that I have that. I have five cats and they follow me all over the house.



ladyelaine
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22 Aug 2017, 5:04 pm

I have had my fair share of awkward moments and epic communication fails. I've also had people that try to play down my autism issues. Sure I have my bachelors degree and a part time job, but I still have a lot of struggles. I still battle depression and anxiety. The social aspects of life are very much a struggle for me.



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23 Aug 2017, 9:09 am

Ladyelaine,

I just have one indoor cat now but, years ago, I had six indoor cats and a dog. All of them had names beginning with P.

I have a Master's in English and work part time at the library. On the good side, I have been working there for just over 15 years (my work anniversary was July 15) and my duties have expanded greatly from when I first started.

I am far from where I should be at my age but, years ago, I never thought I'd have as much as I do now.