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Ross64K
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19 Aug 2017, 1:11 pm

Hey all,
I'd like your thoughts on the following.

Context: I'm currently attending my 3rd year of CS and I've been looking at the job situation in this field. I have the tech skills to do the job but I have a difficulty in interacting with NeuroTypicals (I guess the same as most of you here). From what I've read It seems it will be hard for me to get through the interview stage, and then if I do get past, to last more than a few months until my coworkers get pissed at me and get me fired, but this is my perception, and what I think will happen based on my previous interactions with NTs.

The 'problem' is that I'm unwilling to fake it and pretend to be an NT since it's so draining and also because I'm not really any good at it, but I know that not doing it will reduce my odds of getting hired and keeping a job. Although I know that faking it won't really eliminate my disadvantage relative to the NT.

So can I get and keep a job without trying to fake It and just being myself or do I need to suffer through it and get good at pretending to get my carrer going?
Or should I reveal to my interviewers and employers that I'm on the ASD? Although I think this might make my odds worse and also I don't have a formal diagnosis.

I'd like to hear about your thoughts and experience with this.



oddnumberedcat
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19 Aug 2017, 2:27 pm

Have you considered looking into companies that have hiring programs geared towards people with ASD? There aren't many, but they exist.

To be honest... I'd be really wary of disclosing ASD in an interview. It's technically illegal to not consider hiring someone because of a disability if they're otherwise capable of the work, but that's not to say it doesn't happen, and it's pretty difficult to prove an employer chose not to hire you explicitly because of that unless they said so outright (which few would be dumb enough to do). Faced between hiring someone else of equal skill without ASD vs. someone who does, most employers will want to play it safe. Even if you did choose to disclose, you'd have to do so very carefully and spin it as a positive (e.g., "I'm on the spectrum, so I can sometimes struggle with [thing here], but I'm taking steps to improve it by [blah blah blah].") I just wouldn't do it.

If you feel that ASD would be a hindrance on the job and cause you problems down the road, then I do think it's worth disclosing after you get the job--before problems start, but not the first day--to see if there are some reasonable accommodations that can be made. Social demands just increase as you move up the ranks, even in CS fields. I don't think flagging the ASD card absolves you of any problems that might crop up, and it's inevitable that you will need to accommodate others at least a little in the workplace, but giving colleagues some context will go a long way in helping them understand that you're not just being an ass/strange/aloof/etc.



kdm1984
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22 Aug 2017, 3:10 pm

Do NOT disclose -- UNLESS you are asked, and it's thus inevitable.

I used to work as a substitute teacher. I used to reveal that I had ASD to the teachers. Not a single problem came from that last year. However, this year, under a new substitute employer, and at a new school, I revealed to one of the teachers on the first day. She SEEMED fine with it. But the next day, I got a call from the new coordinator that the teacher was uncomfortable with my disclosure, and it was recommended I don't disclose. I vehemently disagreed and hung up. Well, that was the end of my substitute teaching career.

I'm withdrawing from the work force after so many frustrations related to my autism. Thankfully, I can afford to be a stay-at-home wife (and possibly mother by next year). Not all have that luxury, so just be safe and don't tell anyone unless they bring it up first. Get by the best you can. Hopefully you'll do better in the work force than I did. I excelled so much in academics, but at 32, the social ineptitude of autism led me to never have success at a job for much longer than a year.



domino
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23 Aug 2017, 3:29 am

I'll give you a little bit of advice on things I learned through life. Know when to sit down, shut up, and do the work you need to do. If you have to second guess what you're doing/thinking of saying, you should probably not say or do anything. Remember the golden rule, "Don't throw anyone under the bus if you have to lie about it. If anything, just hope and pray to whatever deity you believe in or you're in enough of a crisis to believe in, that someone don't land their eyes on you if they screw up." If the question of "could this get me in trouble" comes to yours or anyone else's mind...run...and run fast, even if it wouldn't get you in trouble, unless running get's you in trouble anyway's...this is one of those gut instinct moment's, then again this is what's troubling you in the first place. I don't know...Anywhoooo. Was this any help?


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Dave_T
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25 Aug 2017, 3:54 am

kdm1984 wrote:
Do NOT disclose -- UNLESS you are asked, and it's thus inevitable.

I used to work as a substitute teacher. I used to reveal that I had ASD to the teachers. Not a single problem came from that last year. However, this year, under a new substitute employer, and at a new school, I revealed to one of the teachers on the first day. She SEEMED fine with it. But the next day, I got a call from the new coordinator that the teacher was uncomfortable with my disclosure, and it was recommended I don't disclose. I vehemently disagreed and hung up. Well, that was the end of my substitute teaching career.

I'm withdrawing from the work force after so many frustrations related to my autism. Thankfully, I can afford to be a stay-at-home wife (and possibly mother by next year). Not all have that luxury, so just be safe and don't tell anyone unless they bring it up first. Get by the best you can. Hopefully you'll do better in the work force than I did. I excelled so much in academics, but at 32, the social ineptitude of autism led me to never have success at a job for much longer than a year.


A "teacher" is uncomfortable is with someone having ASD? To me that is like a window cleaning not liking heights. Being a teacher you think she would have to deal with kids with asd and other problems, never mind an adult?


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Dyslexia
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 144 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 66 of 200


kdm1984
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25 Aug 2017, 10:43 am

Dave_T wrote:
kdm1984 wrote:
Do NOT disclose -- UNLESS you are asked, and it's thus inevitable.

I used to work as a substitute teacher. I used to reveal that I had ASD to the teachers. Not a single problem came from that last year. However, this year, under a new substitute employer, and at a new school, I revealed to one of the teachers on the first day. She SEEMED fine with it. But the next day, I got a call from the new coordinator that the teacher was uncomfortable with my disclosure, and it was recommended I don't disclose. I vehemently disagreed and hung up. Well, that was the end of my substitute teaching career.

I'm withdrawing from the work force after so many frustrations related to my autism. Thankfully, I can afford to be a stay-at-home wife (and possibly mother by next year). Not all have that luxury, so just be safe and don't tell anyone unless they bring it up first. Get by the best you can. Hopefully you'll do better in the work force than I did. I excelled so much in academics, but at 32, the social ineptitude of autism led me to never have success at a job for much longer than a year.


A "teacher" is uncomfortable is with someone having ASD? To me that is like a window cleaning not liking heights. Being a teacher you think she would have to deal with kids with asd and other problems, never mind an adult?


I know. The whole thing was absurd. I wish I could have kept my temper. Although perhaps it's best that I don't serve in a school district where such things are considered "problems" that need discussion with coordinators over the phone.



kraftiekortie
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25 Aug 2017, 10:51 am

As confirmed by many stories here, it's usually better NOT to disclose.

It rarely serves any purpose to disclose.



Ross64K
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28 Aug 2017, 4:03 pm

I think some of you guys missed the main question in my post.
The major issue I'd like to hear your thoughts on: is wether, in the end, it will pay off more to fake it (pretend being a NT) or not.



Chichikov
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28 Aug 2017, 4:48 pm

Ross64K wrote:
I think some of you guys missed the main question in my post.
The major issue I'd like to hear your thoughts on: is wether, in the end, it will pay off more to fake it (pretend being a NT) or not.

Yes it will. You need to work out what you were doing that caused people to want you fired, then stop doing it.