Admitting you have Aspergers?

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Yes, all this is true, but the opinions and beliefs of others is a difficult thing to change absent months or years of trying by both individuals. Understanding this fact, I usually want to "read the tea leaves" quickly about others who want a place in my life. I like the immediate answers I get from them, because they are often supportive and end up asking questions to continue our conversation. This desire informs me to describe my autism in matter-of-fact ways, and watch carefully for others' reactions. While they react (well or poorly), I listen, nod my head when I agree, and ... wait for the punchline. Most times, others describe their own family and friends who are autistic and important to them. My kind waiting usually pays off well. I recommend this to other autists whether they choose to do so on the first date or the second.

Yeah, I agree with what you're saying----and, I wouldn't NOT tell them, at ALL; in-fact, I feel the same way about it, as you do, in that not only do I like it, when people "share", early-on, *I* like to share, early-on, about MYSELF. I like to get all of my foibles out there, early----that way, if they STILL stick-around, I figure they might just be worth the time-and-energy, needed, for what is my idea of a "proper" relationship. I would just wait 'til, say, the 3rd or 4th date.

After thinking about it, I would share it as well because I am looking for curious, honest, smart and excepting people and if someone rejects me because of my autism she wouldn't be the right person for me. Maybe I would even put it in my 'dating' profile!

But I think you need to explain the basics of your autism profile. What are your strong and weak points, especially the things that matter in a relation. For example I have a problem with touch and hugging, shaking hands etc. I don't know when to do it and don't feel and give affection the usual way and feel lots of anxiety. But I am extremely honest, loyal and funny.

You shouldn't have to worry about someone using Autism against you, if people judge you because of it then they are narrow minded jerks and I would question if I want to be around them (I know you don't always have a choice tho).

I kinda just tell people point blank and if that's an issue fine, if not carry on. It's not lying if you want to wait until later though

I like your attitude!

Intentional omission is still a form of deception, so yeah, it kinda is.

I don't know that it's a critical issue that you must bring it up as soon as possible, but personally, I'd mention it as early on as I could fit it into the conversation without being dramatic (though I would not use the term "ASS-BURGERS"). Simple "autism" would probably be enough.

The reason I would recommend talking about it, is not that's it's something to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about, or even that it might run someone off (although you never know what impression they might have picked up from the Media), it's just that given the nature of our handicap, we're likely to have some very awkward and uncomfortable moments in any social situation, and if they know beforehand that you're just a natural social klutz, then perhaps they'd be less likely to take offense if you said something that came out wrong, or just fumbled your way through awkward silences and such.

Personally, I kind of like talking about it for that reason. It gives me a chance to explain who I am and why I do things in some of the weird ways that I do. OTOH, don't get your hopes up that it will make anyone cut you any slack. They'll never really understand how completely it affects your life and if you try to explain in any detail, they'll eventually just claim you blame all your faults on your autism (even though most of them are connected in some way).

I didn't say there was an upside, I just prefer people know what they're getting into.

@will@rd: Just currious about "Intentional omission is still a form of deception, so yeah, it kinda is.
" as a non-native-English speaker.

http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/when-d ... ome-a-lie/

"Is an omission only a lie when there is an expectation of a truthful answer to a question, where the answer was deliberately used to obfuscate the truth? A deliberate omission can be considered a lie if the lack of information alters outcomes, be it discernment or decision."

"The main definition of ‘lie' in any dictionary is, in essence: a false statement made knowingly and deliberately. A lie is something you say, not something you don't say.”

I guess you can argue that not-disclosing it might alter the outcome of the relation and thus make it a lie, but it is not like "Date: Do you have Autism" / "Boss: Check [ ] box if you have a mental disorder" and you deny it, that would be a lie in my eyes. But is it absolutely relevant for a potential future partner to know about it on your first or second date? When does it get relevant and who decided that, you?, the date? the law?.

I do agree with you on the other stuff.