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BetwixtBetween
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20 Aug 2017, 3:41 pm

My Autistic Children Are Not a Burden
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle- ... 76704.html

Well that is certainly different.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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20 Aug 2017, 5:01 pm

Not news to me: have read similar in the autism section here https://themighty.com/


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ASPartOfMe
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20 Aug 2017, 5:22 pm

The bad part is that is an "alternative" view.


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BetwixtBetween
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20 Aug 2017, 8:39 pm

Quote:
The bad part is that is an "alternative" view.


Agreed.



B19
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21 Aug 2017, 12:48 am

I am another parent who is grateful for my AS children (and grandchildren) - all of whom have greatly enriched my life and they continue to do so. They light up my life.

I second every word of the quoted piece the OP posted



johnnyh
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22 Aug 2017, 10:10 pm

B19 wrote:
I am another parent who is grateful for my AS children (and grandchildren) - all of whom have greatly enriched my life and they continue to do so. They light up my life.

I second every word of the quoted piece the OP posted


Did you receive a diagnosis before or after having children? If before, did you decide to willing to take a risk, or did were you deliberately prepared to welcome ASD children?



B19
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22 Aug 2017, 10:22 pm

Many years after. I was a grandparent before my discovery of AS was confirmed. IF I had to choose over, I would have my two AS children all over again, as well as my one NT child.



johnnyh
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25 Aug 2017, 9:00 am

B19 wrote:
Many years after. I was a grandparent before my discovery of AS was confirmed. IF I had to choose over, I would have my two AS children all over again, as well as my one NT child.


And thats because you love your children so much you don't care whatever they have. I you had two nt children and one AS child (your three switched) you would still love them just as much? It's not like you think deliberately creating children with autism is something to be done on purpose, riiiiigggghhhht?



B19
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25 Aug 2017, 4:34 pm

IF you personally believe that, I can only say you and I have diametrically opposite viewpoints.



cyberdad
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25 Aug 2017, 11:56 pm

B19 wrote:
Many years after. I was a grandparent before my discovery of AS was confirmed. IF I had to choose over, I would have my two AS children all over again, as well as my one NT child.


I have a friend with an AS child who says he wouldn't change anything about having an AS kid. I think this sentiment is not going to be "gleefully" shared by all parents of ASD kids as (lets face it) it is often physically and mentally draining (it certainly is for me and my wife). I often think I'm living in the "twighlight zone" (for those old enough to remember the movie).

I think parents of ASD kids can be lucky (and good on them) but for most of us it's hard work, nobody appreciates (or particularly cares) about the effort we go to or the isolation we face



B19
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26 Aug 2017, 1:51 am

My aspie children were different from one another in lots of ways. My AS daughter was very introverted, very clever (at school) and obsessed with insects, (as I was in my childhood). My AS son was much more outgoing and easygoing, though his developmental curve for some school tasks was slower in childhood, though by the time he was in double figures, he had caught up on tasks like handwriting and was on a par with his classmates. He made friends quite easily because he had a very sunny personality. My NT daughter found it harder to make friends, and tended to have a melancholic personality in childhood, though she was too was very able academically. Every child presents their own set of parenting challenges.

Over time I learned to play to each set of their strengths, and to support their particular challenges. They are all in middle age now. My AS daughter focused on her career and has never married nor had children (she switched from insects to cats), my NT daughter focused on her career, marriage, children and friends and is very socially oriented as an adult; my son also focused on his career and children, being a particularly dedicated father to his ASD son, who was very very challenged in his childhood, delayed in everything for the first few years and very frankly autistic for the rest of his childhood. So I do know of the challenges you speak of, as we are a close family and I had an active role with the grandchildren during their childhood years.

As a family we were/are stretched out along the spectrum, and I don't think that outsiders understood any of us really. Today my extremely affected grandson is overseas on a scholarship in the USA and a basketball contract - he is there by himself and coping well. TBH, no-one but his father ever dreamt that he could make it so far, and his teachers treated him like a write off. If we had done the same as a family, I very much doubt that he would have achieved what he has so far. So I know it isn't easy, as you say. It was also pretty hard for me to parent my children as mother and breadwinner after my husband had a terrible accident which completely incapacitated him. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. As the aged matriarch now, I look at them all and see them at all their ages, and really I feel quite blessed.



cyberdad
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26 Aug 2017, 3:24 am

B19 wrote:
So I do know of the challenges you speak of, as we are a close family and I had an active role with the grandchildren during their childhood years.

I guess everyone approaches the situation differently but I'm speaking about the trials of having an ASD daughter in a mainstream school. She has strengths in specific areas and is tracking in the normal IQ range for most things except for language and comprehension where she has always struggled. I could cope with these but her sensory issues with noise is driving us nuts sometimes. Just something we have to manage.

B19 wrote:
As a family we were/are stretched out along the spectrum, and I don't think that outsiders understood any of us really. Today my extremely affected grandson is overseas on a scholarship in the USA and a basketball contract - he is there by himself and coping well. TBH, no-one but his father ever dreamt that he could make it so far, and his teachers treated him like a write off. If we had done the same as a family, I very much doubt that he would have achieved what he has so far. So I know it isn't easy, as you say. It was also pretty hard for me to parent my children as mother and breadwinner after my husband had a terrible accident which completely incapacitated him. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. As the aged matriarch now, I look at them all and see them at all their ages, and really I feel quite blessed.

I'm really happy for you grandson, good news stories are actually quite a tonic and give us parents some hope all will be well for own kids



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26 Aug 2017, 4:28 am

How old is your daughter now CyberDad?

Thought for the day?

Behind every child who grows to believe in herself is a parent who believed in her first. (I think you are are really a wonderful Cyberdad)



cyberdad
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26 Aug 2017, 7:44 pm

She just turned 12, loves classical music and piano and "artsy" stuff. Has a good memory for facts, math and numbers but tends to be in things she likes rather than in broad academia

I sometimes wonder (as I'm sure other parents do) whether we have done everything to deal with noise issues, I think her fear of coughing/sneezing means she tends to avoid people



B19
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26 Aug 2017, 10:08 pm

I still find that a challenge too - curiously I am the only one in my family with extreme noise sensitivity.