Awkward position

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So, there's this girl at work I have a HUGE crush on, like, tachycardia-on-sight variety crush. I asked her out this one time when I thought she was dropping a hint (probably wrong, but I figured wth) and she made up vague excuses, so I figured I'd drop it, but then she invited me to a work function I originally (and very publicly) and no intention of attending and I let myself be convinced. We talked a bit a said work function, but I guess i was trying to force some connection and probably came off as dishonest or downright creepy or something such Next day she busted inside a meeting to tell us about how she got a date, which I took as my final warning to back off

Now I've given up on chasing her, but this is usually the point where it gets really awkward, usually because I can't just 'act normal' and go to some extreme or other, like being creepy level nice or just plain ignoring her whenever she doesn't address me directly.

I don't want this to happen this time, I really like her, even if I can't have the relation I want with her I still have to work with her and would like to be on good terms. Maybe keep a small window open for romance in the future, altho that seems very unlikely now. I'm considering telling her about my difference, I'm thinking maybe breaking pattern by explaining what's going on on my end might yield better results than I'm used to. I'm worried she'll tell my colleagues or that it will somehow just make things even worst with her. I understand I have to be careful about exactly how much I disclose, but as far as I can tell she's nice and understanding. Thoughts?

This is why you never, ever s**t where you eat....it's just not worth the headache that comes with constant embarrassment, nevermind possible legal trouble with flimsy overprotective laws in regards to harassment. Regardless of wishy washy feels, no amount of that equates to getting in trouble or fired. Her "hints" may well simply be for attention, and that's all.

I'm usually all for the 'don't s**t where you eat' bit, but I've also come to understand when I'm crushing this hard on a girl, I can do something about it or just be upset ad vitam Aterneam. I'm weary with being upset, and at this point in time don't care much for the job anyhow. They hired me to automate fancy s**t but keep assigning me monkey work because 'it's urgent'... guess what, you let me automate that s**t, and it will never be urgent again!

Alright I'm derailing my own thread again Need advice on optimal post-failure behavior :O

**edit** failure in dating is also quite upsetting, but I seem to get over it much faster than when I don't make a move at all.

I wouldn't tell her.

But do tell yourself that it's ok to be human and have feelings for other people.

The more awkward you think it us the more awkward you'll make it.

Accept the feeling is there and that it just is and try and be at peace with it. Relax into it like you would a stretch.

The more you think that how you feel is wrong the more anxious you'll get about it.

Easier said than done I know.

I think you're right. Things actually went great today, I got to code some stuff (finally!) at the office and was a bit more relaxed. I'd been upset about all sorts of stuff for days now, guess I just needed a small win. We talked about some work stuff and it didn't feel weird, maybe even positive. Come to think of it, we basically exchanged more words today than we had up until now in the few months we've been working together. As long as I don't look in her eyes (so pretty! ) I can treat her like just another colleague and she seems to want to pretend like nothing was going on. That or she's secretly one of us and didn't understand what was going on either, which would be irony on a galactic scale XD

I don't need to tell her anyhow, she'll probably figure it out at some point. She seems fairly well educated on the topic and all evidence points to her being real smart. I suspect a good deal of the office is starting to get a clue anyhow, my "social mask" was running out of juice :/

Some girls have been so brutal to me I do sometimes feel like my affection is an undesirable burden that's unfair to drop on a girl, but I'll keep your advice in mind, if it's ok for them then it's only fair it be ok for me. Nobody can switch that off.

Thanks