Joking or Serious?

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I am awful at picking up on jokes unless it is made obvious.
My bf gets me time and time again because, well, on the net you cannot tell someone is joking without a LOL.
That is my excuse anyway, and if someone in real life doesn't laugh when they joke or say something very way out, how the hell are you meant to know anyway?
Surely NTs must have trouble too with this.

All true. People do sometimes use the joke angle to get themselves off the hook, do also often hide their true venom in a joke, which I hate (it's just another kind of lie) and the one comfort... people who really care don't have the heart to take advantage. My husband did joke with me a bit when we were first married, and really hasn't in over 10 years. He did joke, when I asked, saying it was too easy
but I always figured he didn't have the heart to do it. I always got so lost and muddle and frustrated that I could see him quitting it as much for himself as me, but that's fine. It's the sort of selfishness I can live with! What I couldn't abide would be the sort of selfishness that thinks it's funny to use another person's weakness as your personal toy.

I always figure they are "joking" depending on the content, but I can't shake the feeling that they are in fact serious. It gets really awkward. People around here make some rather fascistic remarks at times, and I end up feeling caught in the middle.

I also get some "You're joking, right?" and "You're hilarious!" when I'm actually quite serious myself.

The longer you know someone for, the more likely you are to get used to their usual sense of humour, so as time goes on you get caught out less and less. I still get caught out every now and then with new people. I don't like it when that happens but if they see you get upset you are handing them a victory and incentive to do it again. NT's enjoy playing their "one key pianos" sometimes. You can turn it around on them and act like you were joking by taking their joke seriously and then laugh. Try it out.

Seems to happen more in the
other direction for me, but
I'm almost always joking
(at least partially) when
talking with others.

Problem is that I usually
make connections too
far "out there" for others
to deal with.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole

When people say that, they are, in my opinion, essentially telling a lie. Their words and their behavior don't go together.

same...

i once bought a laptop at a pawn shop and they left out the power cord in the bag so i came back in and talked to the person who served me, and it was a woman, and she said "oh sorry! here it is you can beat me around a bit if you like" with a smile, and i just said.. "ahhh, no thanks I'm right" in a serious voice.

Hellooooooo - sorry i'n new, what's an NT?

Bob Barker and Pat Sajak are very capable game show emcees!

Why would they let themselves off the hook?

NT = neurotypical I believe, lola1.

Sometimes I get it the other way round actually and think people are joking when they're not. Which can be even more confusing.

Me too, once with tragic results for me.

Yes, this happens to me some.

To be serious and for me not to get it you have to be clever I mean very clever

I guess that's the case as opposed to you being silly!