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When co-workers don't talk to you?

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Sweetleaf
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28 Aug 2017, 12:50 am

Somtimes I get worried that when some co-workers don't talk to me in the morning that they don't like me or I came off rude or something. I also consider that maybe people get busy and just don't have time or maybe I look really busy so they don't want to bother me. I mean I could also try to greet people, its just hard for me to initiate interaction...but since I have kind of come to know some of the co-workers better it would be easier to do.


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Mr_Miner
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28 Aug 2017, 12:23 pm

I have dealt with work friend drama too. It's hard especially once you work there for a week or two. By then you are supposed to be friendly. When I was not everyone else just left me alone. But personally it did not bother me. Why should I be friends with them? Why do I have to? We just both need a job let's not take it personal and force something. They did not seem like my kind of people but if the people at your job are just find one thing to ask about.

Like they have a NFL bumper sticker on their car ask "how do you think your team will do this year". It's hard for me too but it's the only way. Then everyone is talking.



ailuzhin
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28 Aug 2017, 12:30 pm

You should keep in mind that talking isn't mandatory.

In my experience, some colleagues I wouldike, and would have genuine conversations. If other colleagues said "hi" I returned the greeting. If they didn't, I didn't either.



Sweetleaf
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28 Aug 2017, 12:34 pm

ailuzhin wrote:
You should keep in mind that talking isn't mandatory.

In my experience, some colleagues I wouldike, and would have genuine conversations. If other colleagues said "hi" I returned the greeting. If they didn't, I didn't either.


Yeah I think I just get a little fixated on it and worry, but its probably not such a big thing. I mean first and foremost people are there to work...but yeah I just don't want to seem rude or unpleasant is the main thing.


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ailuzhin
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28 Aug 2017, 12:43 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
ailuzhin wrote:
You should keep in mind that talking isn't mandatory.

In my experience, some colleagues I wouldike, and would have genuine conversations. If other colleagues said "hi" I returned the greeting. If they didn't, I didn't either.


Yeah I think I just get a little fixated on it and worry, but its probably not such a big thing. I mean first and foremost people are there to work...but yeah I just don't want to seem rude or unpleasant is the main thing.


Well, that is an understandable position, I suppose, but remember conversation is two way. Your colleagues can approach you, it shouldn't just be down to you. In the long term, I imagine some colleagues you will speak to, others you will say hi to, and others you may never exchange a word with.



Campin_Cat
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29 Aug 2017, 11:01 am

I've read a few posts about this new job of yours, and I PMed you an idea, for another job.













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Chronos
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04 Sep 2017, 7:35 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Somtimes I get worried that when some co-workers don't talk to me in the morning that they don't like me or I came off rude or something. I also consider that maybe people get busy and just don't have time or maybe I look really busy so they don't want to bother me. I mean I could also try to greet people, its just hard for me to initiate interaction...but since I have kind of come to know some of the co-workers better it would be easier to do.


Are they ignoring you when you talk to them, or just not initiating conversation with you? If they are ignoring you when you talk to them, that's rude, and unacceptable behavior in the workplace.

If they are just not initiating conversation with you, I don't think much can be concluded from that alone. Do they initiate with other people? If so, it's possible that they think you don't want to be spoken to. They may think you want your space, or that you are not really interested in a relationship with them for benign or negative reasons, or they may simply be preoccupied with other things.



Sweetleaf
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04 Sep 2017, 8:27 pm

Chronos wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Somtimes I get worried that when some co-workers don't talk to me in the morning that they don't like me or I came off rude or something. I also consider that maybe people get busy and just don't have time or maybe I look really busy so they don't want to bother me. I mean I could also try to greet people, its just hard for me to initiate interaction...but since I have kind of come to know some of the co-workers better it would be easier to do.


Are they ignoring you when you talk to them, or just not initiating conversation with you? If they are ignoring you when you talk to them, that's rude, and unacceptable behavior in the workplace.

If they are just not initiating conversation with you, I don't think much can be concluded from that alone. Do they initiate with other people? If so, it's possible that they think you don't want to be spoken to. They may think you want your space, or that you are not really interested in a relationship with them for benign or negative reasons, or they may simply be preoccupied with other things.


No I haven't been ignored if I talk to people...its just not initiating, but yeah could be that...also takes me a while to open up so I may not seem as social or whatever. I have had some people in the past tell me sometimes I can seem unapproachable so yeah may just be things like that. I have been thinking of trying to initiate more with them as that might show that I am more open to interaction.


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nomad42
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12 Sep 2017, 5:26 pm

Mr_Miner wrote:
I have dealt with work friend drama too. It's hard especially once you work there for a week or two. By then you are supposed to be friendly. When I was not everyone else just left me alone. But personally it did not bother me. Why should I be friends with them? Why do I have to? We just both need a job let's not take it personal and force something. They did not seem like my kind of people but if the people at your job are just find one thing to ask about.

Like they have a NFL bumper sticker on their car ask "how do you think your team will do this year". It's hard for me too but it's the only way. Then everyone is talking.


My problems mostly start 3 days in, the first day I do really well with people, I guess I'm not a chameleon and adapt to a culture.