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Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,315

29 Aug 2017, 1:37 am

I just accidentally went to a gayboy hookup.
This is why autistics (namely me) shouldn't socialize. I just completely misunderstand, every time.
I got a message from someone I used to know in the last city I lived in, inviting me to a "tea and cakes" do. I knew him through a group when I lived there, not very well but he seemed like a nice enough chap as was his boyfriend, so I thought I better put in an appearance, since I never get invited to things by people.
This guy had a bit of a tea craze on when I knew him, and I extrapolated from there that this invitation was literally relating to tea and cakes. Like a teaparty - sit around and talk and drink good tea and eat cake. Simple enough.
But when I got there it was a gayboy hookup. Everyone was there to cruise, purely looking for someone physically attractive enough to go home and have sex with and then never see again.
Hookups are not my thing. If I was to get into a relationship, I explicitly do not want it based on sex. I want it based on substance. To be about who me and the other person are, not what our bodies are.
Thus it was incredibly awkward standing around as if I had known in advance that this was a hookup and I thought I was hookup material. Which I don't, and I'm not.
Why is everything queer just a hookup recently??? I've had this before, even at support groups. You go there just looking for some people who don't think you're a massive freak for being queer for once in your life, and all you get is judged by others based on whether or not they'd screw you, because all they're doing there is looking for sex.
I had wanted to attend queer events, groups, have more queer connections fr just that - likeminded connections. But I can't seem to get past this constant hookup thing.
Anyone else finding this? Can you find queer events, groups, and people who aren't just in it for sex?

Alexithymia - 147 points.

Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 15 Oct 2016
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 45
Location: South East England

29 Aug 2017, 4:47 am

Yeah all the queer places I try are all sex obsessed too. Grindr, Scruff etc. They all just want NSA. No friendships or romance.

Diagnosed officially with ASD and ADHD.