Page 1 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

LilZebra
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2014
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 158
Location: St. Vital, Canada

04 Sep 2017, 4:34 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
I've been suicidal off and on for over a decade, along with on-and-off depression. I've made plans but never tried to go through with them. My suicidal thoughts almost always center on the fact that I feel like I'm nothing but a burden and that everyone else would be better off if I was gone. I've been thinking about it again recently due to struggles finding a job I can support myself on. I'm 24 and still living with my parents, and it seems like they are irritated with me more and more often, for no apparent reason, other than perhaps getting frustrated with still having to take care of me. I've been wondering at this point if I'll ever manage to get a job I can support myself on, and if not, well, I don't seem to have anything to contribute to those around me, so why keep making them care for me?


I moved out when I was 22 1/2 in 1989. The previous year I took a Data Entry course and got a few weeks job experience with Air Canada.

Well, after 1990 there was the Recession of the 1990s that didn't clear up until about 1998 because of the "dot com boom".

I spent most of the 90s doing volunteer work at the computer club and things like that, learning HTML and built a public transit info website.

The economy is worse than it was 20 years ago. Locally, several private companies are laying off shrinking the size of their workforce, claiming "automation".

That, and immigration from the Third World makes it hard if not impossible, especially if you're a White Male...to find ANY decent work.

It's gonna get to the point where office clerical jobs will be so automated that no one will work except computers processing everything.

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. As long as you have your physical health then I'd just take it easy, figure yourself out. Your parents of course will disagree. Your parents are what, Gen X or Baby Boomers? If Boomers, then they had it easier than kids of today. They cannot relate to younger people.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 123 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 116 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits


Destabilised
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 14 Sep 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
Location: Southcoast uk

14 Sep 2017, 5:13 pm

I have tried multiple times. Somehow managed to survive, got sectioned because it once. I have to admit, my experience in the psych ward was pretty decent. They lifted the section eventually and told me they'd like me to stay, but I'm free to go if I wanted to. I stayed, purely out of decency, and the fact I had made a few friends in there and I didn't feel I was ready to leave yet. They changed all my medications, actually listened to me, and got me sorted. My head is in such a better place now.



dragonsanddemons
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan

14 Sep 2017, 11:30 pm

LilZebra wrote:
I moved out when I was 22 1/2 in 1989. The previous year I took a Data Entry course and got a few weeks job experience with Air Canada.

Well, after 1990 there was the Recession of the 1990s that didn't clear up until about 1998 because of the "dot com boom".

I spent most of the 90s doing volunteer work at the computer club and things like that, learning HTML and built a public transit info website.

The economy is worse than it was 20 years ago. Locally, several private companies are laying off shrinking the size of their workforce, claiming "automation".

That, and immigration from the Third World makes it hard if not impossible, especially if you're a White Male...to find ANY decent work.

It's gonna get to the point where office clerical jobs will be so automated that no one will work except computers processing everything.

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. As long as you have your physical health then I'd just take it easy, figure yourself out. Your parents of course will disagree. Your parents are what, Gen X or Baby Boomers? If Boomers, then they had it easier than kids of today. They cannot relate to younger people.


Sorry, I didn't see this until now. I think my parents are Gen X, though I'm a little confused as to where the line is date-wise. But they do understand that I'm trying, and my dad occasionally will interview potential employees for his workplace, so he knows what struggles I face there - which is why my parents aren't outright furious with me for not getting a job yet or on my case to try harder. They're just subtly irritated with me an increasing proportion of the time. But I'm 24 years old - they were probably expecting me to be out of the house a year or two ago at least. Can't say I really blame them for being a bit annoyed that I'm not, even if it isn't my fault.


_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


BettaPonic
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jan 2017
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 918
Location: NOVA

15 Sep 2017, 7:35 am

No matter how I feel there is always something in my head telling me to kill myself.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

11 Nov 2017, 9:17 pm

I had suicidal idealization when I was frustrated with life cuz my OCD got hung up on it. I had the idea of wanting to electrocute my brain cuz if it wouldn't kill me it would be like ECT & fix my head. I was going to put wires in my computer's power supply & turn my comp on. I was dealing with a psychotic depression & really considered suicide but never got the guts to go through with it. I did ask my psych about getting ECT but she said I wasn't depressed enough.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,518

12 Nov 2017, 9:57 am

Yes, i've considered suicide since i was about 16. I've always felt unwanted and no matter what i did it didn't change so it seemed like the only option. I've had other disorders and problems because of my anxiety and unhealthy relationships with people and it doesn't seem like my problems will ever disappear. Interacting with people makes me feel disgusting so I've recently made the decision to keep my distance from people because i don't want to get suicidal again.