Meeting someone who ignored your friends request

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MsGreen
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31 Aug 2017, 1:03 pm

Hello, a couple of years ago I worked with a collegue who I got pretty well along with. I'm usually quite open about myself at work, but we talked about like childhood stuff, difficulties, etc, and shared a lot of private stuff with each other, which I don't think is common in a work setting. He also used to tease me and stuff. Soo... A while ago I sent a friends request and a message trying to reconnect, just to like say hi, not become best-buddys or anything. Ignored. So here I am feeling rejected, buhu. Ofc there is a chance he has just forgot to reply. The thing is that I might see him again soon... Nervous (maybe GAD playing in here as well). I see some of you have written about having friends requests denied/ignored. How did you feel when you met the person again irl, at work for example? Was it awkward?



HistoryGal
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31 Aug 2017, 8:56 pm

Not at all. I just go about my business.



ladyelaine
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01 Sep 2017, 10:36 am

When a person ignores my friend request, it shows me how that person really feels about me. I find that Facebook can be a great tool for determining whether or not a friendship is possible with a person. If a person does accept your request it is a good idea to pay attention to how they respond to your posts versus other peoples's posts. If they never like or comment on your posts, but they all over other people's posts then you should probably delete that person. Facebook can tell you if someone in your friend list has been online. If a person claims to not have seen your message, but they were clearly online then you are not a priority to that person. Beware of friend collectors too. These people will have hundreds to thousands of friends in their friend list. They like to add people to boost their numbers.



hurtloam
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02 Sep 2017, 4:40 pm

Does he still use Facebook? Or is it a dormant account?

I sent a friend a Facebook friend request and it turns out she's deleted it off her phone and never uses Facebook anymore so didn't even see the request. She's so not into Facebook that she doesn't see the point even logging in to delete her dormant account.

Some people only have Facebook to keep in touch with family. So will ignore workmates requests.

Could it be he is in a relationship and doesn't want to be seen accepting females on Facebook in case anyone gets the wrong idea? Or in case you get the wrong idea.

Carry on as though nothing happened. He probably thinks nothing of it.



icechai
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04 Sep 2017, 5:42 pm

I only use Facebook to keep tabs on family members and very close friends, my page is pretty dead. Fun story though, I tried to add my coworker, who I sit next to, and she didn't add me back. This was months ago. She checks Facebook on her phone multiple times during the workday, as sometimes there is nothing to do. I never mentioned it, and I guess I'm supposed to feel awkward? but I don't. In short, wouldn't think anything of it, if he doesn't seem to be active on FB.



Chronos
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04 Sep 2017, 6:58 pm

MsGreen wrote:
Hello, a couple of years ago I worked with a collegue who I got pretty well along with. I'm usually quite open about myself at work, but we talked about like childhood stuff, difficulties, etc, and shared a lot of private stuff with each other, which I don't think is common in a work setting. He also used to tease me and stuff. Soo... A while ago I sent a friends request and a message trying to reconnect, just to like say hi, not become best-buddys or anything. Ignored. So here I am feeling rejected, buhu. Ofc there is a chance he has just forgot to reply. The thing is that I might see him again soon... Nervous (maybe GAD playing in here as well). I see some of you have written about having friends requests denied/ignored. How did you feel when you met the person again irl, at work for example? Was it awkward?


Different people use Facebook for different things. Some people try to "collect" as many Facebook "friends" as possible while others limit their Facebook "friends" to individuals they are close with, such as family members. Some people might have a policy of not mixing their work relations and non work relations, and others might not use Facebook all that often, so miss friend requests.

I imagine the worst case scenario would be this man just doesn't want to be Facebook friends with you because he is not interested in being that close to you socially. In that instance, though the rejection is hurtful, it's probably for the best. Some individuals, when they don't care to associate with someone, but feel they have to, and continue to interact with them, become passive aggressive, hostile, or bullies.

It's not unheard of that someone who I think I have a lot in common with, or even admire, don't share those sentiments, and my stance on that is, if someone doesn't think I'm their "type" then they are not my type either.



the_phoenix
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05 Sep 2017, 12:19 am

Basically, the only reason I'm on Facebook is because I'm an artist
and I hear that Facebook is a great way to market your art ...
and, I've sold a painting through Facebook, so yeah. :)

Meanwhile, there are a whole bunch of casual acquaintances who once in a while hit the Like button on my posts.

And my closest friends were never big fans of Facebook.

So yeah, when you meet this guy who ignored your friend request?
It's really not a big deal.
Just treat him politely.
Meanwhile, you know going into it that your time is better spent trying to make friends with
someone else.