11 Sep 2017, 6:48 pm
nomoretears wrote:
Hi, all. I realized i'm just too weird to date.
I'm introverted, reserved, and I have a lot of interests, some of them are quite strange esp for a female.
I'm still friends with an ex. He was talking about people who have in door pools. Then I started talking about this serial killer with an alleged haunted house with an indoor pool Lol i know. He said,'You're a strange one."
He's gone on to other women. He's told me they are so thoughtful. He said his current squeeze was "such a great conversationalist." Oh, thanks. We've had arguments about him bringing up stuff like this.
He says im immature. He says im not a good housekeeper and not helpful. He acts like doing a few things will magically keep men around. Let's be honest, I will naturally weird men away once they get to know me. The only relationship i ever had that lasted was with an abusive man. He never really knew me and hence stayed with me.
I tried cooking for men. I tried having sex with them when they wanted. I tried 'being myself,' which definitely hasn't worked.
I'm 30. Most of my peers are married. Many have been married for a decade and with their spouse for longer than that.
Maybe i'm just too weird.
I'm introverted, reserved, and I have a lot of interests, some of them are quite strange esp for a female.
I'm still friends with an ex. He was talking about people who have in door pools. Then I started talking about this serial killer with an alleged haunted house with an indoor pool Lol i know. He said,'You're a strange one."
He's gone on to other women. He's told me they are so thoughtful. He said his current squeeze was "such a great conversationalist." Oh, thanks. We've had arguments about him bringing up stuff like this.
He says im immature. He says im not a good housekeeper and not helpful. He acts like doing a few things will magically keep men around. Let's be honest, I will naturally weird men away once they get to know me. The only relationship i ever had that lasted was with an abusive man. He never really knew me and hence stayed with me.
I tried cooking for men. I tried having sex with them when they wanted. I tried 'being myself,' which definitely hasn't worked.
I'm 30. Most of my peers are married. Many have been married for a decade and with their spouse for longer than that.
Maybe i'm just too weird.
I don't think that is wierd to me. Those are just the interests that you like. You don't sound like a wierd person either. I think you are a good person!
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,469
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
11 Sep 2017, 6:57 pm
nomoretears wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
I never trust self-proclaimed weird people. I mean, ok, maybe you don't have mainstream interests but there is plenty of people who enjoy the same interests as you do (I didn't read full topic, it made me bored, but you did mentioned serial killers for example) and you don't need to have a 100% equal match... also, you stated that you had many past relationships, I didn't get the point of this topic? I mean, you obviously got a lot of dates – you even said that, so no you aren't too weird to date.
Its pretty easy to find people with similar interests on the internet. Thank god for it.
I understand no two people will be exactly the same nor have the same interests. However, mine are a little outside the norm esp for a gal.
I have had 4 relationships spread out over 12 years. The only one that lasted more than a couple months was abusive.
Most women can get dates easily bc men want the sex. Theres a difference between getting a man and keeping one. Most of my high school classmates are married with kids.
so shouldn't the topic be "i'm too weird to marry"? that's what i didn't understood. anyway, if you have such diverse interests, are you really interest in being like the norm? marrying and having children?
I dont know. It doesnt seem like guys like dating me lol Its mostly the sex.
I maybe wont get married or have kids. I understand all relationships,require concession. Maybe i would have to make more concessions than the average person.
How early on do you have sex? I mean perhaps this wont be helpful if you already do wait a bit before doing that...but in my past I would be willing to have sex on the first in-person meet up and then some of the guys I tried dating ended up only seeming to be interested in the sex...but not a relationship with me. May have saved me some trouble if I had persisted about having to get to know them a little better first and only wanting to have sex if they really wanted to try a relationship.
I don't think you're too weird to date, you just need a little bit more confidence in yourself...I mean you have even said one of your past boyfriends was abusive, that can wear on a person and make them feel unworthy and like crap about them-self but that is what abusers do....the things they said about you aren't true.
11 Sep 2017, 8:52 pm
half of marriages end in divorce.
if you do not want to date anyone at all, that is not inherently a bad thing.
if nobody wants to date you, that does not prove that there is something wrong with you.
maybe it would be a good idea, if you put less energy into dating and more energy into other activities.
some NT men and NT women like to date weird men and women.
everyone is weird in some way.
being "weird" is not necessarily a bad thing. although it is usually inconvenient.
11 Sep 2017, 11:55 pm
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,735
Location: the island of defective toy santas
11 Sep 2017, 11:57 pm
11 Sep 2017, 11:58 pm
12 Sep 2017, 7:14 am
LegoMaster2149 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
Hi, all. I realized i'm just too weird to date.
I'm introverted, reserved, and I have a lot of interests, some of them are quite strange esp for a female.
I'm still friends with an ex. He was talking about people who have in door pools. Then I started talking about this serial killer with an alleged haunted house with an indoor pool Lol i know. He said,'You're a strange one."
He's gone on to other women. He's told me they are so thoughtful. He said his current squeeze was "such a great conversationalist." Oh, thanks. We've had arguments about him bringing up stuff like this.
He says im immature. He says im not a good housekeeper and not helpful. He acts like doing a few things will magically keep men around. Let's be honest, I will naturally weird men away once they get to know me. The only relationship i ever had that lasted was with an abusive man. He never really knew me and hence stayed with me.
I tried cooking for men. I tried having sex with them when they wanted. I tried 'being myself,' which definitely hasn't worked.
I'm 30. Most of my peers are married. Many have been married for a decade and with their spouse for longer than that.
Maybe i'm just too weird.
I'm introverted, reserved, and I have a lot of interests, some of them are quite strange esp for a female.
I'm still friends with an ex. He was talking about people who have in door pools. Then I started talking about this serial killer with an alleged haunted house with an indoor pool Lol i know. He said,'You're a strange one."
He's gone on to other women. He's told me they are so thoughtful. He said his current squeeze was "such a great conversationalist." Oh, thanks. We've had arguments about him bringing up stuff like this.
He says im immature. He says im not a good housekeeper and not helpful. He acts like doing a few things will magically keep men around. Let's be honest, I will naturally weird men away once they get to know me. The only relationship i ever had that lasted was with an abusive man. He never really knew me and hence stayed with me.
I tried cooking for men. I tried having sex with them when they wanted. I tried 'being myself,' which definitely hasn't worked.
I'm 30. Most of my peers are married. Many have been married for a decade and with their spouse for longer than that.
Maybe i'm just too weird.
I don't think that is wierd to me. Those are just the interests that you like. You don't sound like a wierd person either. I think you are a good person!
Awww thanks!
12 Sep 2017, 8:10 am
12 Sep 2017, 1:43 pm
Sweetleaf wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
I never trust self-proclaimed weird people. I mean, ok, maybe you don't have mainstream interests but there is plenty of people who enjoy the same interests as you do (I didn't read full topic, it made me bored, but you did mentioned serial killers for example) and you don't need to have a 100% equal match... also, you stated that you had many past relationships, I didn't get the point of this topic? I mean, you obviously got a lot of dates – you even said that, so no you aren't too weird to date.
Its pretty easy to find people with similar interests on the internet. Thank god for it.
I understand no two people will be exactly the same nor have the same interests. However, mine are a little outside the norm esp for a gal.
I have had 4 relationships spread out over 12 years. The only one that lasted more than a couple months was abusive.
Most women can get dates easily bc men want the sex. Theres a difference between getting a man and keeping one. Most of my high school classmates are married with kids.
so shouldn't the topic be "i'm too weird to marry"? that's what i didn't understood. anyway, if you have such diverse interests, are you really interest in being like the norm? marrying and having children?
I dont know. It doesnt seem like guys like dating me lol Its mostly the sex.
I maybe wont get married or have kids. I understand all relationships,require concession. Maybe i would have to make more concessions than the average person.
How early on do you have sex? I mean perhaps this wont be helpful if you already do wait a bit before doing that...but in my past I would be willing to have sex on the first in-person meet up and then some of the guys I tried dating ended up only seeming to be interested in the sex...but not a relationship with me. May have saved me some trouble if I had persisted about having to get to know them a little better first and only wanting to have sex if they really wanted to try a relationship.
I don't think you're too weird to date, you just need a little bit more confidence in yourself...I mean you have even said one of your past boyfriends was abusive, that can wear on a person and make them feel unworthy and like crap about them-self but that is what abusers do....the things they said about you aren't true.
When i was younger i would give it up faster. I quit that, and i usually dont date much anyway.
With my ex i had sex on the first date, but that turned into a relationship. Thats not what usually happens.
Thats one of the reasons i quit mass dating. I get tired of man after man after man expecting sex on the first date. I also got tired of guys lying to have sex with me.
I can admit im not so bubbly and talkative. So the comment my last ex made was unfortunately factually correct.
12 Sep 2017, 1:45 pm
12 Sep 2017, 1:54 pm
12 Sep 2017, 2:02 pm
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
I dont know how much compromising i can do. Ive putup with emotional abuse, infidelity, guys ogling other women in front of me, bfs ignoring me so they can date 2 girls at once..I have put up with so much from men onky to be dumped in the end anyway.
Im forgetful, stupid smart, weird interests, say and do the wrong things. I guess im just difficult to deal with bc of who i am.
Im forgetful, stupid smart, weird interests, say and do the wrong things. I guess im just difficult to deal with bc of who i am.
What about being with a fat guy and helping him get fit but also accepting he might not do all the excercising stuff you do. Plenty of people who work out a lot and hike etc are with people who don't. Plenty of fit people don't enjoy that too. Example you enjoy rock climbing but you can do that without your partner. I'm trying to get thin but I'll never be too into all that running, swimming etc I wouldn't mind if my so was
You cant force someone to be something theyre not. What you described sounds more like being someones person trainer rather than boyfriend.
Not it's more like sharing you knowledge and helping your so. Isn't that what relationships are helping the one you love the most, balancing each other with your different knowledge and experiences. Maybe your bf is better at math is he your personal accountant lol. Most relationships tend to have areas where one spouse is better at and helps the other. A lot of guys are put on diets by their gf/wife's lol. It's a constant complaint I hear from guys in relationships. "She won't let me eat that stuff"
Puls you get to work or together which is something you said you would want. Did you mean go to gym together then work out separately? When you truely love someone you want to help them. I'd love to have a gf to show me how to properly lift weights or do exercises instead I'm Goni going have to wing it and hopefully not do any serious damage. Also most people force themselves to work out, probly less then 25% of the population enjoys working out like you do. For most people it's a horrible chore they can't wait to get over or are made to do by their wife/gf
i don't know if I'm attracted to obese, out of shape men to be honest. I don't really see super fit women with men who are extremely out of shape. I try hard to keep in shape, and that's what i want in a partner.
I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone and be like
Ok i gotta make him get up and walk
gotta make him ride the bike
gotta convince him to lift weights
That sounds more like a job.
Being physically active has become a big part of my life. i couldn't see dating someone who wasn't into physical activity in some way.
I don't necessarily do gym time together, but I like guys who are into that in some way. The latest ex and I didn't do gym together, but we did plenty of walking and bike riding. He had a home gym.
Don't have to make him. Every think he might want to go do those things if it's doing them with you?
I had a girl go shoot guns with me she'd never shot guns but did it I assume cause I like shooting guns.
I'm fat and I like you alksnand hikes. Biking I did a lot as a kid but it's tougher and seat wedges are uncomfortable.
I've seen a few fit women with fat men but a lot more of the opposite I see tons of fit attractive men with fat women. 0.o so what makes a fit man chose a fat obese woman over a fit attractive woman? Why do a lot of men work out to stay in shape but are accepting of fat women? Probably the huge ad campaigns to push people out of fat shaming women and to see fat women as abnormal body shape. There's. I such ad campaign for men. Amos I'm not obese there loads of guys bigger then me they look like wrecking balls. I've seen some where I'll like how do they get through the door. Like they wider then a door. Yet most have wife's/gfs
Meanwhile I have a bit of a belly and people call me fat and ugly. I'm 6'3" and 260 my ex friend was foot or so shorter and is 290. He got thin girls left and right.
I'm losbig weight but it won't matter. Even if I get thin and weigh 220
and thus I don't have much motivation to work out or go for s jog. I'd never rock climb it's too expensive and risky. I don't want to get hurt. I've never had a serious injury. Your lucky to born thin and stayed thin.If he wanted to be fit, he wouldnt have to wait for a gf to maje him do it.
Its easy to explain why a lot of guys even fut ones like bbws-bbws come with big boobs and big booties oftentimes. Fat doesnt lay well on men. Ive seen bbws with outrageously sexy figures and beautiful faces.
Im honestly not extracted to obese or very out of shape men. For me fitness is a lifestyle not just a hobby. I cant date someone with a completely different lifestyle. No one is in super great all the time, but i have my limits.
Its not unfair to ask for a partner who is similar to me.
Im not going to make that concession.
12 Sep 2017, 2:08 pm
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
half of marriages end in divorce.
if you do not want to date anyone at all, that is not inherently a bad thing.
if nobody wants to date you, that does not prove that there is something wrong with you.
maybe it would be a good idea, if you put less energy into dating and more energy into other activities.
some NT men and NT women like to date weird men and women.
everyone is weird in some way.
being "weird" is not necessarily a bad thing. although it is usually inconvenient.
if you do not want to date anyone at all, that is not inherently a bad thing.
if nobody wants to date you, that does not prove that there is something wrong with you.
maybe it would be a good idea, if you put less energy into dating and more energy into other activities.
some NT men and NT women like to date weird men and women.
everyone is weird in some way.
being "weird" is not necessarily a bad thing. although it is usually inconvenient.
Thanks for your post.
Being single for sure isnt bad. I do what i want when i want. I can sit around and be quiet. No ones complains. I can be interested in most anything without being called weird.
I can write in my journal all day.
I have plenty of hobbies to kerp me occupied. Im planning to sign up for either dance classes or some other sport.
12 Sep 2017, 2:43 pm
nomoretears wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
I dont know how much compromising i can do. Ive putup with emotional abuse, infidelity, guys ogling other women in front of me, bfs ignoring me so they can date 2 girls at once..I have put up with so much from men onky to be dumped in the end anyway.
Im forgetful, stupid smart, weird interests, say and do the wrong things. I guess im just difficult to deal with bc of who i am.
Im forgetful, stupid smart, weird interests, say and do the wrong things. I guess im just difficult to deal with bc of who i am.
What about being with a fat guy and helping him get fit but also accepting he might not do all the excercising stuff you do. Plenty of people who work out a lot and hike etc are with people who don't. Plenty of fit people don't enjoy that too. Example you enjoy rock climbing but you can do that without your partner. I'm trying to get thin but I'll never be too into all that running, swimming etc I wouldn't mind if my so was
You cant force someone to be something theyre not. What you described sounds more like being someones person trainer rather than boyfriend.
Not it's more like sharing you knowledge and helping your so. Isn't that what relationships are helping the one you love the most, balancing each other with your different knowledge and experiences. Maybe your bf is better at math is he your personal accountant lol. Most relationships tend to have areas where one spouse is better at and helps the other. A lot of guys are put on diets by their gf/wife's lol. It's a constant complaint I hear from guys in relationships. "She won't let me eat that stuff"
Puls you get to work or together which is something you said you would want. Did you mean go to gym together then work out separately? When you truely love someone you want to help them. I'd love to have a gf to show me how to properly lift weights or do exercises instead I'm Goni going have to wing it and hopefully not do any serious damage. Also most people force themselves to work out, probly less then 25% of the population enjoys working out like you do. For most people it's a horrible chore they can't wait to get over or are made to do by their wife/gf
i don't know if I'm attracted to obese, out of shape men to be honest. I don't really see super fit women with men who are extremely out of shape. I try hard to keep in shape, and that's what i want in a partner.
I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone and be like
Ok i gotta make him get up and walk
gotta make him ride the bike
gotta convince him to lift weights
That sounds more like a job.
Being physically active has become a big part of my life. i couldn't see dating someone who wasn't into physical activity in some way.
I don't necessarily do gym time together, but I like guys who are into that in some way. The latest ex and I didn't do gym together, but we did plenty of walking and bike riding. He had a home gym.
Don't have to make him. Every think he might want to go do those things if it's doing them with you?
I had a girl go shoot guns with me she'd never shot guns but did it I assume cause I like shooting guns.
I'm fat and I like you alksnand hikes. Biking I did a lot as a kid but it's tougher and seat wedges are uncomfortable.
I've seen a few fit women with fat men but a lot more of the opposite I see tons of fit attractive men with fat women. 0.o so what makes a fit man chose a fat obese woman over a fit attractive woman? Why do a lot of men work out to stay in shape but are accepting of fat women? Probably the huge ad campaigns to push people out of fat shaming women and to see fat women as abnormal body shape. There's. I such ad campaign for men. Amos I'm not obese there loads of guys bigger then me they look like wrecking balls. I've seen some where I'll like how do they get through the door. Like they wider then a door. Yet most have wife's/gfs
Meanwhile I have a bit of a belly and people call me fat and ugly. I'm 6'3" and 260 my ex friend was foot or so shorter and is 290. He got thin girls left and right.
I'm losbig weight but it won't matter. Even if I get thin and weigh 220
and thus I don't have much motivation to work out or go for s jog. I'd never rock climb it's too expensive and risky. I don't want to get hurt. I've never had a serious injury. Your lucky to born thin and stayed thin.If he wanted to be fit, he wouldnt have to wait for a gf to maje him do it.
Its easy to explain why a lot of guys even fut ones like bbws-bbws come with big boobs and big booties oftentimes. Fat doesnt lay well on men. Ive seen bbws with outrageously sexy figures and beautiful faces.
Im honestly not extracted to obese or very out of shape men. For me fitness is a lifestyle not just a hobby. I cant date someone with a completely different lifestyle. No one is in super great all the time, but i have my limits.
Its not unfair to ask for a partner who is similar to me.
Im not going to make that concession.
I can agree with that post however I don't like the idea that you are saying if a man has nothing substantially wrong with him that he doesn't have options. The truth of the matter is there are tons of men without options because they never learned how to talk to women. Personally I think that's human to not know how to talk to women and it shouldn't be something expected ever, if anything it should be a red flag to women if a guy knows how to press all her right buttons in a conversation that this is not a typical real human connection but a game he is playing that he has practiced. AKA game but again women don't like to hear this.
12 Sep 2017, 6:25 pm
nomoretears wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
I dont know how much compromising i can do. Ive putup with emotional abuse, infidelity, guys ogling other women in front of me, bfs ignoring me so they can date 2 girls at once..I have put up with so much from men onky to be dumped in the end anyway.
Im forgetful, stupid smart, weird interests, say and do the wrong things. I guess im just difficult to deal with bc of who i am.
Im forgetful, stupid smart, weird interests, say and do the wrong things. I guess im just difficult to deal with bc of who i am.
What about being with a fat guy and helping him get fit but also accepting he might not do all the excercising stuff you do. Plenty of people who work out a lot and hike etc are with people who don't. Plenty of fit people don't enjoy that too. Example you enjoy rock climbing but you can do that without your partner. I'm trying to get thin but I'll never be too into all that running, swimming etc I wouldn't mind if my so was
You cant force someone to be something theyre not. What you described sounds more like being someones person trainer rather than boyfriend.
Not it's more like sharing you knowledge and helping your so. Isn't that what relationships are helping the one you love the most, balancing each other with your different knowledge and experiences. Maybe your bf is better at math is he your personal accountant lol. Most relationships tend to have areas where one spouse is better at and helps the other. A lot of guys are put on diets by their gf/wife's lol. It's a constant complaint I hear from guys in relationships. "She won't let me eat that stuff"
Puls you get to work or together which is something you said you would want. Did you mean go to gym together then work out separately? When you truely love someone you want to help them. I'd love to have a gf to show me how to properly lift weights or do exercises instead I'm Goni going have to wing it and hopefully not do any serious damage. Also most people force themselves to work out, probly less then 25% of the population enjoys working out like you do. For most people it's a horrible chore they can't wait to get over or are made to do by their wife/gf
i don't know if I'm attracted to obese, out of shape men to be honest. I don't really see super fit women with men who are extremely out of shape. I try hard to keep in shape, and that's what i want in a partner.
I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone and be like
Ok i gotta make him get up and walk
gotta make him ride the bike
gotta convince him to lift weights
That sounds more like a job.
Being physically active has become a big part of my life. i couldn't see dating someone who wasn't into physical activity in some way.
I don't necessarily do gym time together, but I like guys who are into that in some way. The latest ex and I didn't do gym together, but we did plenty of walking and bike riding. He had a home gym.
Don't have to make him. Every think he might want to go do those things if it's doing them with you?
I had a girl go shoot guns with me she'd never shot guns but did it I assume cause I like shooting guns.
I'm fat and I like you alksnand hikes. Biking I did a lot as a kid but it's tougher and seat wedges are uncomfortable.
I've seen a few fit women with fat men but a lot more of the opposite I see tons of fit attractive men with fat women. 0.o so what makes a fit man chose a fat obese woman over a fit attractive woman? Why do a lot of men work out to stay in shape but are accepting of fat women? Probably the huge ad campaigns to push people out of fat shaming women and to see fat women as abnormal body shape. There's. I such ad campaign for men. Amos I'm not obese there loads of guys bigger then me they look like wrecking balls. I've seen some where I'll like how do they get through the door. Like they wider then a door. Yet most have wife's/gfs
Meanwhile I have a bit of a belly and people call me fat and ugly. I'm 6'3" and 260 my ex friend was foot or so shorter and is 290. He got thin girls left and right.
I'm losbig weight but it won't matter. Even if I get thin and weigh 220
and thus I don't have much motivation to work out or go for s jog. I'd never rock climb it's too expensive and risky. I don't want to get hurt. I've never had a serious injury. Your lucky to born thin and stayed thin.If he wanted to be fit, he wouldnt have to wait for a gf to maje him do it.
Its easy to explain why a lot of guys even fut ones like bbws-bbws come with big boobs and big booties oftentimes. Fat doesnt lay well on men. Ive seen bbws with outrageously sexy figures and beautiful faces.
Im honestly not extracted to obese or very out of shape men. For me fitness is a lifestyle not just a hobby. I cant date someone with a completely different lifestyle. No one is in super great all the time, but i have my limits.
Its not unfair to ask for a partner who is similar to me.
Im not going to make that concession.
I explained it. I don't do things alone. It might be something I freaking love doing but not alone. Do My stuff alone is sad and boring. Not to mention dangerous. Too many solo campers/jokers get hurt and then die cause they're alone with no one to get help for them.
Sorry fat women are not as sexy as thin women. Guys just accept what they can get physically in exchange for someone with good personality. If there was two women who wanted a guy and one was thin and one was fat but otherwise similar guys would always pick the thin one.
You don't have to but you may end up alone forever. That's life we don't have to make concessions and can stick to our demands but that may also mean we never get what we want.
I'd love to have a thing gf but I'm never going get one even if I become fit. So lowered my standard to looking for fat women I'll probably never find them as attractive as a thin woman but that's life. I'd rather be with a less sexy woman then be alone. Personality is more important anyways. That fit guy Amy get fat later in life most guys do. Again you don't have to but you'll have to accept that your limiting yourself to a small portion of single men who have lots of options therefore you have lots of competition
12 Sep 2017, 6:30 pm
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