what do you look for in a partner?

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what do you look for, or hope for, in a partner? Or what were you looking for that lead you to your current partner?

I'm just wondering what everyone's criteria is, and how similar or different it is...

I look for somebody to understand me, and how and why I tick.

I also wouldn't mind somebody who is winsome-looking (not necessarily "good-looking" in a conventional sense). I want somebody who wears reasonably clean clothes, and has nice hair which smells nice.

I would also like someone who likes to discuss relatively intellectual topics----over "popular culture" topics. But also somebody who doesn't always rely on "logic" for everything.

A companion best friend first romantic stuff second

^^^^ Yeah....I think that usually works best, too.

I looked for someone who was:

Financially stable/responsible (not the same thing as being rich)
Naturally beautiful and feminine (no crazy hair, piercings, tattoos, etc)
Good spelling and grammar
Easy going/happy go lucky
Marriage/Family minded
Trustworthy, reliable, honest, gentle
Intelligent but not snobby
Not a world travelling type
Has a drivers license and own vehicle unless there is a good reason why they can't drive
Open to sharing in my *ahem* adult interests
Strictly monogamous
Religious is okay but nothing too crazy.
Someone who would be a best friend if there was no sexual attraction

I found someone with most of those qualities and was devastated when she broke it off and admitted she did not have the same feelings I did (I now accept she just isn't into men in general). A few months later, I found my wife and she hits almost all of these perfectly!

Someone who isn't stuck on themselves - effectively a unicorn these days. Even those who claim to be selfless do so in order to feed their ego.

Patient
Compassionate
Athletic
Similar tastes in music (oldies and classic rock)
Funny

Someone intelligent who likes learning new things, but who is not arrogant about their viewpoint.

Someone with good manners.

Someone who I find easy to talk to and vice versa.

Someone interested in the more spiritual side of life, but not the sort who thinks every co-incidence is the hand of God or thinks everything "happens for a reason".

Someone who accepts that life is messy and who isn't a perfectionist.

Someone with a heartbeat who actually genuinely likes me.

I'm starting to understand I have no right to want anything elese i dont know if I even should expect they like me. Perhaps a fake relationship would be better then being forever alone and feeling like crap.

I use to have things I desired in a partner

Well, first and foremost, someone that is single. I can't tell you how many women I have met lately that I am compatible with, and interest me, that aren't single. I can't tell you how frustrating that is.

Other qualities:

Physical appearance: I am not super picky about hair color, eye color, etc., but there are certain body types I am more attracted to than others.

Personality: Sweet, smart, honest, straightforward, understanding (this is a big one), not naïve, and NO major personality problems (narcissists, histrionics, borderlines). I have met a bunch of women with personality disorders lately, and I can't handle being around them too long.

Compatibility: We have to be on the same page with our interests, lifestyles, and values.

Intelligent and honest.

Similar values.

- Doesn't think I'm thick or no good because I have a low wage job
- Not stuck up and haughty.
- Not a social media addict who's looking for attention like an astronaut needs oxygen.
- Somebody that understands me and my problems and doesn't have irrational beliefshttp://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Irrational_beliefs or is a paranoiac.
- Healthy body weight / feminine shaped
- Young enough to have children
- Intelligent, creative, ideally college education though I wouldn't say no to her if she left school at 16
- See's relationships as 50/50; not all on her terms and me the 'slave' that needs to prove himself
- Shared interests (paleo anthropology, mountain biking, thrift stores, movies, healthy eating, weight training, traveling, photography, history). This last one is optional.

I think I'm looking for a Unicorn made of some unidentified metal material that came from a meteor.

Same interests
High sex drive
Loves to travel
Loyal
Straightforward
Not a liar or cheater

Wow at the aboves.
I honestly would not know what I look for in a partner, unless I was looking at them, and whatever it was that made me want to be involved with them was there looking back.
What I would be looking for in a partner would depend on that partner. On that person, as an individual, in an individual situation, not as a premeditated list of specific criteria.
I don't approach these things like many do, almost like a job interview, sifting out unsuitable candidates.
No absolutes, no pros and cons. Just as it is.

That's actually a good point and one I agree with. Take for example a criminal record: if they did something stupid at 18, that's not the same thing as being a repeatedly convicted shoplifter. Likewise, being in debt because of a family emergency is not the same thing as being in debt for being foolishly irresponsible.

There are some things that I considered VERY black and white (smoking, drug use, gender, etc).

Honesty and loyalty. And that's about it. As long as my potential partner has at least those qualities, everything else is secondary.

Although admittedly, a passion for either video games or music - or even both - is a plus.