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Sammondoa
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07 Sep 2017, 1:07 pm

Recently I heard the stereotype that black people steal stuff or something. Some of these individuals are upset when people clutch their bags when they are around which is very understandable.

The issue is, even before I heard the stereotype I was always paranoid about my things around anybody I didn't know. My dad reinforced the idea from a very young age that if I care about something I will protect it. Even in all-white neighborhoods, I will hide my belongings under a seat when I left the car and I will periodically shift around my pocketbook.

I'm afraid if I act that way around black people then I will hurt their feelings. Should I just act the same as I would around anybody else or would that hurt their feelings? Is it racist to treat everyone the same or to be treating people differently?

P.S. I hope it's okay that I said black instead of African-American. On the internet, I don't want to exclude individuals who are not American since this is a worldwide platform.



Joe90
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07 Sep 2017, 1:55 pm

These days, everything is racist. I'm old-fashioned, I don't like all this politically correctness s**t. But people get offended so easily.


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SZWell
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07 Sep 2017, 2:12 pm

Just be empathetic, you don't have to change. If you're scared of what people might do, then that's just it. People will probably be offended if it's overt but that's up to you and whether you feel comfortable

It has happened around me and I'm usually not offended unless there's disrespect directed towards me. I can only assume reasons for it but none of it matters anyway if it wasn't directed towards me. I know there are racists around, don't need affirmation and unless someone wants to address it personally it is a non-issue


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07 Sep 2017, 3:41 pm

Joe90 wrote:
These days, everything is racist. I'm old-fashioned, I don't like all this politically correctness s**t. But people get offended so easily.



I know. In my case, I live in a city in the old south which is trying to adapt to diversity change and acceptance. Once you are out of the city though, people are still bitter and accuse you of being racist.

I am white myself and I have to be careful.

E.G- A couple years ago, I was traveling for work outside of my city to a smaller city two hours away and had just gotten checked in and had gotten a meal voucher for the breakfast buffet in my hotel's restaurant. I thought that this black woman was the manager based on the way she was dressed as we have a lot of black people who work in similar positions. So when I asked, she got so angry and got very offended and ended up becoming extremely hostile by accusing me of having a "Racist attitude." I know that it wasn't the case.



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07 Sep 2017, 4:00 pm

Really it depends on how you present yourself. I'm black and someone just holding on to their stuff closely wouldn't bother me.

What would bother me is if say something fell and it was yours, it came towards me and I was about to pick it up and you said you got it and you make it as if you have to pick it up.(if it's nothing sensitive of course.) or your bag just so happen to be next to me and you jerk it away as if I was going through it or something.

So like I said it's really as long as you don't do something that would seem unnecessary and excessive.


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07 Sep 2017, 4:23 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
These days, everything is racist. I'm old-fashioned, I don't like all this politically correctness s**t. But people get offended so easily.



I know. In my case, I live in a city in the old south which is trying to adapt to diversity change and acceptance. Once you are out of the city though, people are still bitter and accuse you of being racist.

I am white myself and I have to be careful.

E.G- A couple years ago, I was traveling for work outside of my city to a smaller city two hours away and had just gotten checked in and had gotten a meal voucher for the breakfast buffet in my hotel's restaurant. I thought that this black woman was the manager based on the way she was dressed as we have a lot of black people who work in similar positions. So when I asked, she got so angry and got very offended and ended up becoming extremely hostile by accusing me of having a "Racist attitude." I know that it wasn't the case.


How she reacted does seem extreme. We do still have people acting like we can't dress stylish or something though.(not to justify the way she acted just giving an idea of why she might have acted that way.) Thing is some racists(not all) think if we don't look gangster and thuggish we aren't a "typical" black person or lying that we're black.


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Sammondoa
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07 Sep 2017, 4:27 pm

AquaineBay wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
These days, everything is racist. I'm old-fashioned, I don't like all this politically correctness s**t. But people get offended so easily.



I know. In my case, I live in a city in the old south which is trying to adapt to diversity change and acceptance. Once you are out of the city though, people are still bitter and accuse you of being racist.

I am white myself and I have to be careful.

E.G- A couple years ago, I was traveling for work outside of my city to a smaller city two hours away and had just gotten checked in and had gotten a meal voucher for the breakfast buffet in my hotel's restaurant. I thought that this black woman was the manager based on the way she was dressed as we have a lot of black people who work in similar positions. So when I asked, she got so angry and got very offended and ended up becoming extremely hostile by accusing me of having a "Racist attitude." I know that it wasn't the case.


How she reacted does seem extreme. We do still have people acting like we can't dress stylish or something though.(not to justify the way she acted just giving an idea of why she might have acted that way.) Thing is some racists(not all) think if we don't look gangster and thuggish we aren't a "typical" black person or lying that we're black.


She could have been having a bad day. My mom explodes on me sometimes when she's in pain or has been under a lot of stress.



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07 Sep 2017, 4:27 pm

I vote no. I agree with everyone we live in a world where milk is racist.



Sammondoa
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07 Sep 2017, 4:39 pm

SZWell wrote:
Just be empathetic, you don't have to change. If you're scared of what people might do, then that's just it. People will probably be offended if it's overt but that's up to you and whether you feel comfortable

It has happened around me and I'm usually not offended unless there's disrespect directed towards me. I can only assume reasons for it but none of it matters anyway if it wasn't directed towards me. I know there are racists around, don't need affirmation and unless someone wants to address it personally it is a non-issue

AquaineBay wrote:
Really it depends on how you present yourself. I'm black and someone just holding on to their stuff closely wouldn't bother me.

What would bother me is if say something fell and it was yours, it came towards me and I was about to pick it up and you said you got it and you make it as if you have to pick it up.(if it's nothing sensitive of course.) or your bag just so happen to be next to me and you jerk it away as if I was going through it or something.

So like I said it's really as long as you don't do something that would seem unnecessary and excessive.


Thank you SZWell and Aquaine Bay! :) This makes a lot of sense.



SZWell
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09 Sep 2017, 8:31 pm

Sammondoa wrote:
SZWell wrote:
Just be empathetic, you don't have to change. If you're scared of what people might do, then that's just it. People will probably be offended if it's overt but that's up to you and whether you feel comfortable

It has happened around me and I'm usually not offended unless there's disrespect directed towards me. I can only assume reasons for it but none of it matters anyway if it wasn't directed towards me. I know there are racists around, don't need affirmation and unless someone wants to address it personally it is a non-issue

AquaineBay wrote:
Really it depends on how you present yourself. I'm black and someone just holding on to their stuff closely wouldn't bother me.

What would bother me is if say something fell and it was yours, it came towards me and I was about to pick it up and you said you got it and you make it as if you have to pick it up.(if it's nothing sensitive of course.) or your bag just so happen to be next to me and you jerk it away as if I was going through it or something.

So like I said it's really as long as you don't do something that would seem unnecessary and excessive.


Thank you SZWell and Aquaine Bay! :) This makes a lot of sense.


No doubt about it :wtg:


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wanderlust77
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10 Sep 2017, 10:07 am

IMO it's better to be safe than sorry. I saw it myself on the train, the guy was sitting there, reading something on his phone and he didn't realise the three gipsy kids who got on the train. They were circling around him and at the next stop one of them just grabbed his phone and jumped off the train.

This is not racist, I don't think you want to end up robbed just because you fear being called racist.
This is about being alert and taking care of your stuff.



the_phoenix
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10 Sep 2017, 12:53 pm

Okay, now this might shock you.
As a Trump supporter, I think it's racist --
Merely seeing a black person (or African American if you prefer)
and clutching your purse tighter to your body is racist.

Now here's the thing.
If you're in a neighborhood with a high crime rate
and you see someone walking toward you
and your gut feeling tells you to clutch your purse tighter to your body,
then it's perfectly natural and fine to do so
regardless of what color or race the person is ...
depending on what makes you feel suspicious.
Is it merely their race and nothing else?
Or is it their body language, staring at you, wearing gang clothing or symbols,
dealing drugs or displaying weapons in plain sight?
And yeah, you do want to watch yourself a little better in a high-crime neighborhood,
so that alone can make you more protective.

BTW ... I've had people call me Caucasian before instead of white
in an effort to be polite to me ...
White is just fine, because "Caucasian" means that you're from a mountain range
in or near Russia, if I remember my geography, ... and I'm not Russian.

That said, ... white?
White is the color of snow, and my skin is most certainly darker than snow ...
I'm not an albino.
I'm also part Native American.
But yeah, for the sake of simplicity,
call me white.

Same thing with black ...
as an artist, I know there are different kinds of black.
For instance, Mars black vs. Ivory black.
Curiouser and curiouser.



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10 Sep 2017, 1:10 pm

AquaineBay wrote:
What would bother me is if say something fell and it was yours, it came towards me and I was about to pick it up and you said you got it and you make it as if you have to pick it up.(if it's nothing sensitive of course.)


Being an Aspie and a single woman, it's one of my quirks that if anyone touches my stuff, I tend to get defensive.

Doesn't matter if the other person is black or white or a kindly chivalrous gentleman or a little old lady who nicely asks if they can help me carry something out to the car, or help carry a suitcase up to my room when I'm on vacation.
Unless the person asking is a hotel or store employee, or someone I know well, I'm going to say "No thanks, I prefer to do it myself."

Even to the extreme point that once when I was on vacation hobbling around and limping
on three fractured toes,
I insisted on carrying my own suitcase up a flight of stairs
instead of letting the old lady innkeeper help me.



Leahcar
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29 Sep 2017, 4:53 pm

In my opinion, it's only racist if you only act protective of your things around black people.
Personally, I don't trust anyone, so I clutch my possessions very tightly when I'm around others, regardless of skin colour, age, or anything else. I try to do it subtly, though, as to not draw too much attention to myself.
If I dropped something of mine, I'd scramble to get it myself - I would be a little uneasy if someone else tried to pick it up.


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29 Sep 2017, 9:52 pm

If a persons intentions and efforts are to understand all people as the same and respect them equally, then I would not consider them racist no matter what bias they might appear to show, because everyone has to unlearn some biases at some point to really show respect to every individual they meet. I perceive the heart of racism to be the unwillingness to accept that every human is equally worthy. That's philosophical though.

Practically, I say the best thing is to care for your belongings responsibly and not to worry if someone thinks you are being racist. You know the truth of it anyway. But I also worry about this a lot recently(how my actions are perceived). I take a deep breath and ask myself if I believe I am physically safe at the moment. If yes, then I can relax and be myself more, and myself is a person who doesn't see barriers of race until someone else points it out, or when I hear it on tv all the time, or when everyone is talking about it. I'd never have known those barriers could exist if I hadn't been reminded of them so often. :roll:


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30 Sep 2017, 3:30 pm

Racism is a motivation (thoughts), not an action. Protecting your stuff isn't racist; protecting your stuff because you have racist beliefs is racist. So if you don't have racist beliefs, you and what you are doing are not racist.