Where do you go for help?

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I was only diagnosed two months ago, at the age of 24. I have been struggling my entire life, despite being in therapy for 10+ years for depression. Now that I have the diagnosis, people still don't listen to me or help me with my problems. They only treat children, or worse, they act like they've never heard the words "autistic spectrum." My experiences in the mental health system have been terrible. They don't even try. People are so heartless.

I've been feeling suicidal for the last few months, not because of the diagnosis, but because I am so stuck. Everywhere I go, I am expected to be someone I'm not, and to be able to do things, I can't. It disgusts me that I can't just be myself. Quite honestly, I don't even like myself. I never have. But it's so much more stressful to pretend to be something else all the time, for the benefits of others.

Should I give up on the system? Do any of them really care? How do I meet people like us in real life?

Reads like you're in a bad locale for autism awareness. Maybe that's somewhere to start? If your area's health system is woefully ignorant of autism issues in adults, maybe you could join up with an autism awareness group and work on that problem in your area? You'd be more likely to meet autism-understanding folks in such a niche, with the added bonus of contributing to the awareness of others in your area (looks like they need it!)
As for depression therapy not working for you - could it be you're just seeing a provider that is not right for you? I had this happen with my physical problems. It was all frustration and barriers, illegal discrimination and costs, until I found a lineup of people who were more understanding of what my problems were, and willing and able to help. That honestly made all the difference for me. Perhaps you should try someone else for your depression issues? Someone who could work better with an autistic adult's wavelength?
As to the strain of being expected to be someone you're not - I think a lot of people here could say the same. I'm working on this myself at the moment, and trying to tailor my life to be more accommodating to what I am, not what I am not and expected to pretend to be. The steps in that would depend on your individual situation, what you are really, what you're being expected to be and how to reconcile that disconnection.
Feel free to PM if you'd benefit from some brainstorming.

I hear you 100%.
The autism specialist I saw was a darn fool. They keep sending me to psychiatrists no matter how much I say I dont want meds. These people treat me like a dog. Now I'm in a psych rehab program which is the closest I've been so far to real help but it's not quite there yet.

Unfortunately when it comes to these kinds of things our society just isn't there yet. They would rather talk over you, give fake positivity, temporary solutions, and distractions, than actually explore an issue enough to find a solution that doesn't violate boundaries... boundaries they laugh in your face for having, 'cause that's not "the real world." They really just don't get it.

Well just know you are not alone. People don't see what effort we have already put into so much, and conforming without a choice. At least, and I don't say this to justify it, but at least through all this we get closer to seeing what we really need and what DOES work. There's still no reason it should be this hard. But unfortunately it is right now.

Coming from me, after the awful days I've been having lately, this means a lot so take it to heart: I believe we can find happiness, belonging, purpose, and make the world a better place. Please hang in there.

Hi ismiledinstead,

What a nice name you have.

If I lived in Indiana, I'd invite you out to talk over coffee. As it is, I'm in Ohio. I sometimes visit Indiana for a Star Trek convention they hold there. I'm a bit older than you though, so you'd probably see me more like an aunt.

Anyways, I tend to be skeptical of "the system" when it comes to treating depression, because "the system" makes money when the patient keeps coming back over and over again, still needing help.

We each have a unique personality, and we each have the right to be the best version of ourselves.

The suggestion to find an autism awareness group might be a good place to start. Even if you're not much of a group person, you still might meet one or two like minds or kindred spirits.

Anyways, here's a quote on being yourself:

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly." ~~ Albert Einstein

Have a look at Meet-Up to see if there is an Asperger's meet-up in your area. If there is no specific AS group, then search for a social anxiety Meet-Up and join that, because in my own experience, the majority of members at social anxiety meet-ups are on the spectrum anyway, and you will most likely find acceptance, understanding and support there. I joined a social anxiety meet-up group 5 years ago and have consistently found it the most welcoming and supportive group ever, where members really care about one another. Give it a go?

It is possible to start your own meet-up group through the Meet-Up organisation, which is international. It's relatively easy to do, and you may discover strength you didn't know you had