Beginning a relationship - Excited and Anxious

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spike55151
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11 Sep 2017, 2:54 pm

I haven't been in a relationship in about three years. Sixteen days ago, I met a guy. I was shopping, and he asked me about my t-shirt. I was wearing a t-shirt celebrating one of my special interests, and was super-excited to be asked about it. A couple days later I met him on a dating website. I didn't recognize him at all. We seemed to hit it off pretty well over email. Inevitably, I ended up chatting about my special interest, which prompted him to ask if we had just met a couple days previous. He expressed that he enjoyed meeting me and did in fact, find me attractive. I was relieved to hear it, and confounded by the synchronicity/coincidence. That was about a week ago. I since opened up to him about ASD. I was very worried about how he would react, but he took it really well and said that we should just take things one step at a time and see how things develop. So far, things have progressed so much better than I could have hoped. We're going to meet irl again soon, and I'm scared I'm going to f**k things up. Does anyone have any advice? Dos? Don'ts? Words of encouragement or warning?



spike55151
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13 Sep 2017, 10:56 pm

It fell through.



envirozentinel
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14 Sep 2017, 2:55 pm

Sorry to hear that. It is always nice when a potential partner has similar interests.

Don't give up on meeting someone. It can happen when you're least expecting it, as it did with me. You deserve someone special.

Despite being both gay and on the spectrum, we can find happiness and someone who accepts us as we are. After I was diagnosed in 2008, it explained a lot of things and my partner only wishes he could have known years before, so he could have understood better. But since he's so special and has such a strongly developed sense of compassion and justice (in my experience this is a trait found in many Librans) he's always been patient and understanding during meltdowns and other situations he formerly found puzzling. (it helps, however, that he's very nerdish and almost certainly also on the spectrum although very different in his personality and interests).


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spike55151
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14 Sep 2017, 3:26 pm

Thanks for the kind words. It means a lot.

I'm going through a lot of problems right now, and it made me feel hopeful that I'd have someone there to help me get through it. I guess a relationship isn't exactly a huge priority for me at this point, but it would have been nice. In fairness, I don't think it was really my fault it didn't work out. He had some problems of his own, and I think it was more related to that, but it still hurts.

I'm fortunate that I live in a decent-sized city, and there are options out there, but I never meet anyone who shares my interests. I probably need to expand my social circle, but that's a whole other challenge of it's own.



envirozentinel
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15 Sep 2017, 5:47 am

Maybe there's still a chance for a friendship / possible relationship with this guy who shares your interests, at a later point.


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