AS boyfriend obsessed with women

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underwater
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14 Sep 2017, 4:01 am

Chronos wrote:
onigirias wrote:
I would just like to ask whether it's a trend that people with AS tend to have a wandering eye. My boyfriend has a history of sleeping with tons of girls (like 25 in the past 4 years). I know for a fact that upon meeting me he really did think I was different (I overheard him tell his best friend I'm the one girl he could be serious about) but part of me thinks he only likes me because I to have AS (albeit mild). I think he feels like he's finally not alone (we are similar and can talk about anything) and therefore thinks I'm special. We had a talk where he told me flat out he wanted to start being exclusive and that he tried being with other girls with me but felt horrible and would not want me to sleep with anybody else either. We are pretty serious, I've stayed with his family, am traveling with his mom, and hung out with all his friends.

But he also is obsessed with checking out other girls. I don't know if there's any correlation (because I know AS can be correlated with being unpredictable/fickle) but I have seen him texting pictures of tons of girls from school to his friends constantly, even saying that he considered breaking up so that he could go back to how comfortable being single is. I don't even know what it is, I feel like he isn't your typical horndog guy but that he honestly is constantly afraid of being lonely. I feel like he's doing this because he doesn't want to be attached. Do you think there's something else going on in his head or is he just flatout disinterested?


Most healthy, heterosexual men are obsessed with women to some degree. However there is a difference between having desires and acting upon them. That your boyfriend texts photos of women to others is a little unusual for an adult man, and may indicate that there is an aspect of the typical AS "special interest" in that he may be treating the photos like collector cards. However, regardless, if the behavior bothers you and he is undecided on committing, those issues should be resolved before you yourself decide to commit.


If you stay with him and he keeps texting his friends with pictures of other women, you're going to be that woman that everybody feels sorry for, and where people ask 'Why does she stay with him'. The pretty women are possibly a special interest, but not a special interest that is very compatible with having a stable relationship.


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ShadowProphet
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14 Sep 2017, 12:23 pm

At his age, what guy isn't obsessed with women?

Women are so beautiful



sly279
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14 Sep 2017, 6:56 pm

BuyerBeware wrote:
GUYS have a wandering eye. There are exceptions, but-- in general, that's men. The younger they are, the worse they are about it.

Can't much change it. Just decide whether you're willing to tolerate it.

Yes but taking pictures and texting them back and forth is not ok and taking it too far. Personally I'm uncomfortable when guys share pictures of women and talk about them like a price of meat. I might have sexual thoughts about women's pictures but talking about it in a group seems wrong. Also the pictures I look at are shared by he women who enjoy guys looking at them.



underwater
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16 Sep 2017, 11:27 pm

sly279 wrote:
BuyerBeware wrote:
GUYS have a wandering eye. There are exceptions, but-- in general, that's men. The younger they are, the worse they are about it.

Can't much change it. Just decide whether you're willing to tolerate it.

Yes but taking pictures and texting them back and forth is not ok and taking it too far. Personally I'm uncomfortable when guys share pictures of women and talk about them like a price of meat. I might have sexual thoughts about women's pictures but talking about it in a group seems wrong. Also the pictures I look at are shared by he women who enjoy guys looking at them.


+1
I think your instinct is right about this, Sly.

Btw, do these women know he's taking pictures of them? If not, that's a situation that could explode in his face. It's not very nice.


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CockneyRebel
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20 Sep 2017, 9:49 am

If he wants to be in a relationship with you, he shouldn't be doing that. He also seems creepy.


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