Does autism make love and having feelings different for us?

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Here's an NT's perspective:
You said your connection grew stronger after it ended....no it didn't. That is not possible. It takes two people to grow a connection and that doesn't happen after it ended. I think what you are describing is that you didn't know what you had till it was gone, and what you may have felt was regret because you missed what you had.

You also said that you never told her you found her attractive. Yea, that's a big problem dude. You need to make a woman feel special, even if you think that is pointless--it's not to her and it will never get old no matter how secure you feel in a relationship with a woman at some long distant point into the future of a relationship. You're never done "courting" her. Ever. She will return that to you 10 fold.

Now here's the thing. I do not believe it's over, I really don't, and I'm speaking from the other side. See, someone can't hurt you unless you care about them. If you don't care about someone, you would get angry instead of feeling hurt if they did something that would be considered uncaring, mean, or just plain inconsiderate. If she is hurt, she cared about you. If she cared about you, it is hard to be angry, even if she acted like it...that could be her way of building up her own courage to walk away and save face and do what she knew in her head was best for her, even if her heart told her differently. You would have a lot to make up for, and a lot of apologizing to do....but my vote would be to try to talk to her and explain things. If she doesn't know you are aspie, maybe you might want to share that with her if she is willing to listen and learn. But she won't know how you feel unless you tell her. I would suggest that you start at the beginning and tell her up front that you suck at expressing yourself and your words might not come out right but that you want to try if she would listen. Then tell her you regret how it ended. Then express your real feelings, and allow her to process and respond.

Don't ever let love walk away if you can catch it back. It's too rare a miracle.

Each and every day that goes by, I hurt over the way my aspie friend spoke to me last and because I don't suspect I'll ever hear from him again. If I learned that he felt even a small part of what the OP has expressed, it would mean the world to me. But the only thing I have is the words he last said--that's all I have and those words are pain. That's all your girl has too. Give her something else.

Here's an NT's perspective:
You said your connection grew stronger after it ended....no it didn't. That is not possible. It takes two people to grow a connection and that doesn't happen after it ended. I think what you are describing is that you didn't know what you had til it was gone, and what you may have felt was regret because you missed what you had.

I don't think that is very helpful since NTs and NDs don't build connections the same way.

As an ND, you typically know you have feelings for somebody if you think a lot about her/him. Over time it changes to be less like an infatuation and more like a strong bond, but that is a gradual process.

And no, an ND cannot just "cut off" things because it ends. The infatuation and obsessive thoughts will go on even if it has ended. ND courtship is not meant to be like typical NT-dating where things can end abruptly at any time, which is also why NDs should avoid dating.

So, an ND can build a connection without dating, talking or socialization, but that also means they need to be observant that it is mutual because otherwise, things can go really wrong.

She told me I had caused her too much pain. She said to go away and leave her alone... I don't think she wants me back. And also what if after talking my therapist income to a gradual realization I no longer never have feelings for her and I decide I never did, what then? Was I leading her on? Would she want to hear that?

I hope she wants to be friends again but I gotta give her space.

This does not make sense to me, either as ND or NT, this is illogical. You are referring to building something between two people when there is no connection but just one person on one side. That is not building anything...it is just realizing how you feel inside yourself and understanding yourself better.

By definition a relationship (of any kind) requires interaction between two people.

Sure, people can analyze their own feelings alone and realize how they feel about someone else and maybe those feelings turn out to be deeper than they thought...and that might result in regret over realizing you felt more than you originally thought or it might be the exact opposite...but that is not a connection unless....well...the other person is connected and reciprocates.

You refer to infatuation going on even if it has ended....that is NOT a connection! That is realizing feelings YOU have inside yourself, by yourself, alone with yourself, locked inside your own head. The other person may or may not feel the same. Without a CONNECTION, you don't know which it is.

It still worth a last try!! ! !
We just don't know what exactly happened between them.
An honest as possible conversation is worth it. At least for a closure!
He can move on after that.
Do you guys really want him to live with regrets?
"What if" is the worst thing I can imagine to live with.