I am not meant to have friends.

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How about we stop calling everyone in the world terrible, because chances are they are not, and they are just as human as everyone else.

almost everyone falls into at least one of the following categories, at least sometimes. and yes, that includes myself. while i am drastically different from precious lil "most people", i am not important, precious, awesome, cool, or perfect either. in any way, shape, or form:

they act like every thought and emotion that goes through their brain must come out their trap within 10 seconds, lest the sky fall down.

but when someone that is not in their "in" group says something, they half listen and grunt "huh" and "what". the way they grunt "huh" and "what", is like they truly believe that that is the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me". and that is when they even noticed someone said something. oftentimes, they mishear what the speaker said.

only precious lil "people" just like them are in their "in" group. and they act like everyone else has no rights or emotions.

they do whatever they want, and when someone in their "in" group responds in any method other than passive aggressive tolerance, they have the nerve to squeak "you got mad".

they have the nerve to make positive and negative judgments about someone else's IQ score, clothes, hair, other merchandise.

they act like when they make a negative judgment about someone else, someone else has a moral obligation to apologize and change immediately.

they act like when they make a positive judgment about someone else, some else has to say "thank you". but a positive judgment is just as judgmental as a negative judgment.

if you do or say something they do not like, they say "why?", as if there is a correct reason. but there is no correct reason.

if you do or say something they like, they say "cool". they act like they have a moral right to live in a world where everything is "cool" (with them).

they refer to their "in" group as "people", "we", or "most people". they refer to you as "you". thus, whenever you do or say something they do not like, they overpower you, because they outnumber you.

they are constantly addicted to the latest greatest technology. every spare second. they use the technology at every chance, regardless of logic. for example, a precious lil "friend" had the nerve to dial my phone #, when we were both driving in separate cars, a couple yards away. but it is illegal to talk on the phone while driving. and she could've just pulled over.

they act like they have a moral right to get whatever they want immediately. such as, the bathroom.

when they think you did something they do not like, they act like you invented the world's worst felony. but when it turns out that you did not do what the wrongfully accused you of, they brush it off. no reparations. no "i'm sorry sir". they act like it never happened.... until, of course, they have a chance to make the next wrongful accusation.

they say "he felt bad", about someone in their "in" group. but "he felt bad" is not an apology. and i felt "bad" too, but nobody asked or cared how i felt. "he felt bad" is not the same as "i apologize". the way "he felt bad" sounds, was like he had a moral right to never feel "bad". and that when he "felt bad", that was a national catastrophe. while it doesn't matter how i felt. there are five emotions and only one is happy.

along the same lines, they have the nerve to try to veto anything you do. any slightest thing. just because "people don't like it". and he/she (the speaker) refers to himself/herself as "people". which sounds like they have a moral right to veto anything you do, just because he/she does not like it.

but when you try to point out something they did that you do not like (even if it is illegal), they say "people do it all the time!".

the let their dogs off leash, with an attitude like they not only did not do anything wrong, but they have never done anything wrong.

and they have that attitude almost all the time.

they ask "none of your business" questions, but when you ask them something they do not wanna answer they squeak "why?".

they act every time they ask a question, that is doing you a personal favor because they are showing interest. the word "question" has a positive connotation, because it contains the word "quest". but "interrogative statement" sounds worse. "interrogative". like "interrogation". as in CIA "interrogation". in chinese, the word for "question" is the same as the word for "problem".

they say "may i help you?" as if they are so morally innocent, powerful, and kind that they can and will help you. and they act like they have never harmed anyone or anything before in their lives. but that is not the way they treat their friends.

"are you ok?". as if they can and will help you otherwise.

"do you have a question?". as if they know everything and if you have a question, they have an answer.

"why are you smiling?", when they want you to stop smiling. (that's the slightest thing. don't i have rights? even prisoners, military recruits, small children, convicted murderers, and dogs - especially dogs - have rights. but i am transgender autistic so i ain't got no rights. because "she's a weirdo.")

"smile!", when you fail to smile.

whenever you say something, they judge you and it. including counselors. especially counselors. at least one psychologist had the nerve to remark on my gait (the way i walked from the waiting room to the office), clothes. a psychologist told me that he did not know if i was male or female when he saw me. not only that, but they got paid to make those judgments. like insult to injury.


they say "can you", as if, just because you "can", you "will".

they say "you need to", as if they have the moral right to order you around.

they get angry, impatient, annoyed and irritated when you do the slightest thing they do not like/understand.

pretty much given up on precious lil "friends". at this point.

thus far, almost everyone has grown apart, or dumped me. and the few that have not, do not know me that well.

besides, just because they have not dumped me yet, does not follow they never will.

then when they dump you, they act like you are Public Enemy Number 1. and they spread rumors and gossip.

they label anything you do that they do not like as "disrespectful" or "rude". as if to make it an objective fact.



and numerous other problems.



it's almost like i have to write a written contract of parameters of the interaction, so that precious lil "people" know how to act.

Hi,
I am not a video game person but I am more of fan of animated things. I am also into..
1. Writing
2. Vlogging/Blogging
3. Stargazing
4. I am obsessed with TED talks

Furthermore just because a lot of precious lil "people" do something, does not make it morally justified.

It gets on my nerves how precious lil "most people" refer to adult males as "guys" and adult females as "girls". It is not "guys and girls". It is boy/girl. Man,woman. Lady/gentleman.

But I do not feel morally entitled to correct sexist precious lil "people" that say that. And besides if I corrected them, they might do it more often to get on my nerves, they might ignore me, or they might do it less often.

So the best case scenario is, like whooptie do. But based on their attitude, it appears hard to imagine that they would be receptive.



Some precious lil "people" are totally homophobic. Some precious lil "people" are only slightly homophobic.



The other thing, dichotomous thinking.

"You don't care about anyone except yourself!" A homophobic precious lil "person" had the nerve to tell me.

Black and white thinking. Not spectrum. Certainly not rainbow

The speaker made it sound like I was Public Enemy Number One. But he did not know I was autistic. He is not telepathic. He did not watch me do all that community service.

Nobody is completely selfish or selfless. And you can't measure selfishness.

So.... He, as well as numerous other precious lil "people" were totally biased against me

"Holier than thou" attitude

I wonder if I should request this thread to be closed. The title doesn't necessarily reflect how I feel anymore and someone whose attacked me before (Not Summer and short) has posted in here.

Marknis: Closing the thread is up to you. But you might want to contact the individual directly before you do, chances are it is a miscommunication.
I have found that making friends to be a challenge. I never had a large amount of friends and when I did I had really no more than five decent friends, but mostly stuck to about two. Today I hardly have any. It really is not for a lack of going out, I just do not connect with most people, even on a site like this one.
I believe that friendships have to have a utility, in other words they have to serve a purpose. Many think that if two people have the same interests or are involved in the same activities that they would be friends and my experience that is really never the case. Both people have to see a reason to connect above and beyond just common interests.
For me I always knew people really didn't 'get' me. Often I was weird. One Facebook 'friend' asked people to put their name down and he would give them his first impressions of them. For me it was, 'quiet and intense'. As a kid I always tried to engage others, but I was ignored. Even worst, I knew I was ignored and this hurt me. I would get anxious and upset when other kids would be acknowledge me.
Like Twilight_Summer the friends that I do get often fizzle out, my best friend of 11 years had a falling out, due somewhat to what I did. Others were just jerks to me, like one, after I told him that my father was dying of cancer, he quipped back: "well you didn't like him anyway".
I disagree that you should submit that you 'were just not meant to have them'

Marknis

You wrote that "the title does not necessarily reflect the way I feel", but you wrote the title last month. That doesn't sound like a long time.

What changed since then?

Because the title reflects how I felt before the original post as well as now.

It's like - I am not "meant" be a pilot in the Air Force because I do not fulfill the height requirements. And I am not "meant" to be a model because I look like what the media portrays ad attractive. And I am not "meant" to do hard labor, because I weigh 110 pound. And I am not "meant" to be a mathematician because I am not smart enough....

Sure, you could correctly point out that the military's procedures change with time. And the military gives waivers. And not all models look the same. And there is no perfect method to measure intelligence. Yeah I get it

But seriously I identify with the title. Your choice of words was accurate and insightful.

And I ain't got no precious lil "friends" either.

And maybe I wish I had friends

But life contains many variables. And maybe life can figuratively and literally go on, with or without friends

I feel more like I should have friends but my father and the culture I live in ruined that.

Also, the poster who claimed to want to be my friend actually attacked me in another part of this forum and is trying to pretend that didn't happen.

Marknis

"should", "can", and "will" are all different things.

It is not necessarily your fault that you ain't got no friends.

Maybe you are just so different from everyone else, that they do not like you

Best because they don't like you, does not necessarily mean that you are bad or wrong.

It is more like they are in the majority and you are a minority.

So what, I have no friends either......

Marknis

If the bullying is still occurring, then maybe it is a good idea to remove yourself from the situation or report the bullies to authorities

If the bullying is over, then maybe you could benefit from counseling

Some counselors are good, in some ways, at some times

Some counselors just make good use of the freedom of speech and do not appear to know what they are doing.

Some counselors are way too vague. One asked me "do you deserve to be treated badly?"

It's like what is the definition of "treated badly?". And a counselor told me "you deserve respect". You can't measure respect. Sheesh. Another counselor told me " I am sorry you were bullied". It's like wtf She did not bully me, nor did she extort or bribe anyone to bully me. And saying "I'm sorry, sounds like she was making it more significant than it was......

But some counselors are better



However in grammar and junior high school, some precious lil "people" bullied me.

Sometimes I wonder if all that bullying made me more introverted. Every day I still think about it. And all that bullying could have indirectly caused me to act in a way that the neuropsychiatrist mistook as autistic .

Misdiagnoses

Anyways whatever

Because making and maintaining friendships is like walking on eggshells. if you say and do things the other party deems as correct and good, they are your friend. The second you say or do something they do not accept or understand (even if you are morally justified or factually accurate) they act like you invented the world's worst felony, and that they were perfect little angels

Cost benefit analysis

Oftentimes I feel pretty left out and want precious lil "friends"

But it's like both parties have to write a written contract about what each part will and will not do. And otherwise, then what.



Precious lil "friends" act like they are the greatest thing since sliced bread, and I ought to be grateful that they graced me with their presence

Emotional rollercoaster

Constant

My therapist helped me come up with a new life outlook. I realize that wishing and hoping endlessly for a girlfriend as well as friends has been the same as constantly praying to God for the same thing. I used to do the latter but it didn't change anything.

way too many precious lil "people" mishear and misinterpret things I said and did

They act like when they do the slightest thing (stop the car so I can cross the street), they give me this indulgent smile, as if they just successfully dragged my worthless corpse out of a burning building

They make promises, that I depended on. Then they break the promises

They act like they have never done anything wrong before in their lives

The whole attitude