I am not meant to have friends.

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Marnkis, I am sorry that she did this to you and that wasn't nice. However, two things come to mind.
1. Either you just grew apart because he interests and tastes changed
2. You were not compatible in the first place

The guy who is treating us like pieces of trash was the same way did something similar in regards to dating people. He dated a former friend of mine back in the day and had no problem hanging out. It's also funny because that former female friend of mine sounds a lot like your now ex-friend.

My friends broke up because he stopped calling her, stood her up several times which was before she left for a vocational school because she was flirting with other guys in front of him and always wanting attention. However, he didn't communicate this to her very well but rather left her in the dust.

Meanwhile, she was interested in getting together with me prior to leaving for this vocational program. We met one time but she didn't seem like she was all that excited to be there. After that, she graduated three months later and would talk to me on the phone but never had time and nor did she suggest getting together. Rather, I was doing all the work only to get shot down with
"Unfortunately, I have to babysit my sisters. I never have the time like I used to, sorry." Yet, she boasted about having a sleepover with another girl in her mother's backyard.

I couldn't even talk to her about these things without her having a hissy fit in return.

Some sh***y things she did was talk about inviting me to a game night with her other geek friends as well as getting me to give out flyers for an adult Aspergers support group but those things never came to pass. She had a social network and could've helped me make new friends but she kept sidelining me.

She also downplayed my struggles and said I needed to "get your (referring to mine) head out of your ass". This is someone who instantly became a manager when she applied to work at Planet Fitness and got dates on PoF without even trying while I have been grinding away at my part time job for ten years but have never been offered a higher position and dating sites just decrease my lifespan with the stress they cause me.

It sounds like it's all for the best because it was what psychologists would describe as a "Toxic relationship."
A. She's one of those people who say things that feel good at the time but doesn't mean what she says.
B. She sounds like destructive friend who always brought you down as a person
C. She sounds like she is rather arrogant
D. She sounds self-centered
E. She is blaming you
A real friend would help build you up as a person along with getting you into a better job and introducing you to people.

This girl sounds a lot like the girl who I just told you about and believe me, she was a weird friend too.
1. She asked me to be her maid of honor at the last minute while she was on duty in Iraq due to meeting her fiancee who she was bringing home. What a joke that was because she never communicated with me and just led me around with this fishy story that didn't add up regarding her wedding plans. Because she broke her promise, it cost her our friendship along with feeling like I had to step on eggshells around her all the time.

She basically learned that one could not just throw a wedding together in two weeks so she and her fiancee had arranged to get married through the justice of the peace so they could get the papers signed that they were married for military purposes status quos. Yet, she ignored my phone calls for two weeks. What was the story? She didn't know if it would happen or not and would renew their vows with a real wedding another time.

Other things she pulled
1. She was joining the military and said she would write me while away at basic combat training/boot camp which she never did. When I asked her why she was too homesick and just wanted to talk to her mom.
2. Before she left for basic and was getting ready to leave, I suggested that we get together by taking her out to eat and seeing and it was "Unfortunately, I am working with a personal trainer this weekend because I have a big physical to get ready for. I have a really tight schedule because I could leave any day now. You came come over for dinner one night."
3. She was going to come home for Christmas and New Years and it was "I will be so busy" So when I called her out, she had a hissy fit and threatened to end the relationship. The next day it was "I know you are mad at me but I am on army time, bye!" Click.

If I could give young aspies a warning for the future, I would tell them to be very careful who you call a friend. Are they genuinely trying to be friends with you or are they just exploiting you and only being kind when you have something to give them?

My ex-friend exhibited characteristics of all the things you listed. She once accused me of thinking I was "special" because I am afraid of being rejected when I wasn't implying I was the only one with that fear; I was just trying to say it was a fear that plagued me and still does to this day. It was okay for her to express her struggles but if I expressed mine, she was ready to kill me. She also claimed I was wrong in my thinking and that there are people who would like me or even date me but she didn't use her social connections to help me.

I wish I could replace her but it will probably never happen. I think I'll just blow my brains out of my skull like how I used to visualize doing so. Even back when I was 17, I feared living friendless and single. I should've just pulled the trigger back then.

Life doesn't have any intentions for you, per se. Someone pulled the wool over your eyes, either out of cruelty, or with the best intentions. If you like the view, by all means move on to another post and ignore this one.

If you can't accept a simple explanation for the meaning of life, positive, negative, or morally ambiguous, then it may eventually seem like life has no rhyme or reason, and no meaning. It's fine to accept that. Now what?

Given the ultimate meaninglessness of all human endeavor, one can give up or give in. An absurd and meaningless world presents a blank canvas for you to color in with your creativity. Ascribe meaning to something which motivates you, and firmly believe it of your own will. Pull the wool over your own eyes!

First step: Can you relax in silence and count ten breaths? I'll need a yes or no answer to that from anyone who wants to discuss anything beyond the first paragraph. That's a firm rule, completely arbitrary and almost certainly absurd and meaningless, but I have made it a rule.

I think these two videos might help Marnkis

8 signs of a toxic friendship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-94Ql0UphdA&t=13s

Stuck in the moment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdksnBxfBT0&t=58s

life coaching videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpXlbXM7AXc&t=3s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWEAfe6JmEU

No, I don't like it at all. I shouldn't even have to explain it considering how I have a shrinking friendship circle, no girlfriend, and live in a sick culture. Why would I ever like that view at all?



I haven't watched all the videos completely yet but the opening seconds of the final one speak out to me. I feel like the culture I live in tries to push me to be fake instead of encouraging my authenticity. I hate fakeness more than anything else in this world. I'd rather listen to a band like the Melvins alone instead of listening to mainstream music in an attempt to fit in. I actually tried listening to mainstream music because I thought it would make me fit in but it only lead to disappointment. I still didn't drink or smoke so that could've been a part of it because at the shows I went to a lot of people drank and smoke which made me feel like the odd man out but the main point is that liking a certain band that is popular won't guarantee friendships. I now only go see bands that I actually enjoy and want to see live instead of hoping for some kind of reward from them.

My older brother would mock me for trying to be myself instead of following the crowd. He would boast how following the crowd got him friends and boasted how he would "f**k b*****s" (His words, not mine) and it would make my blood boil that I couldn't prove him wrong. Now he has hardly any friends, has four children that consume his life, and is stuck in a bad marriage.

Marnkis,

It turns out you made a better choice and I am glad you didn't go down that path. Now regarding the first video, it's a TED talk about a toxic friendship and how the speaker/storyteller came to terms in being rejected. I wanted you to see this because you just got out of a toxic friendship yourself.

I didn't expect you to like it. Summer T. has made some good suggestions. Did you try counting ten breaths?

I'll look at it later today.

My therapist thinks I need to turn my focus towards friends rather than a girlfriend. But I struggle with finding basic friendships just as much as I do with finding a girlfriend. I try to talk to people but the conversation won't last long or won't even start; it'll get cut short by something like "Oh, that's cool." or something else trivial.

I do too but I have learned how making friends works and it usually happens when you aren't looking for friends. Rather, a friendship starts when you go to the same venue over and over and sit next to someone who you seem to bond with.

E.G- I recently met my newest friends at my place of worship and learned that one of them had Asperger's and like Dr. Who along with D&D. I had expressed interest in wanting to get it a second chance. Eventually, his wife came over and we just started talking.

Regarding the comments where they are cutting you off, are you rushing right into detail after detail about anime and video games? That can turn people off.

I watched it just now and what the speaker is saying feels like she is reading my memories. I feel like I put up with more than I should've with that evil person. I saw a lot of bad signs but at the same time, I was worried about my already shrinking social network shrinking even quicker so I refused to break things off with her until it was too late.



No, I have to be very cautious with my words around people because those two things are frowned upon in my culture so I don't bring them up unless someone expresses their interest in them. I used to be over detailed in expressing my interests but I realized how much it stressed me out doing so. Someone else did it to me and I tried to tell him he didn't have to give me every detail but he reacted very childishly in response. He was another toxic friend that I willfully broke away from after he broke his parents' bathroom door.

What I meant by the conversation getting cut off is that it's like the spark suddenly fizzles out but when the same people talk to each other, it will go on and on.

I wish something happy would happen for me until the year is over. College sucked, I got turned down for a date, I was rejected for friendship, Comic-Con sucked, and I didn't make any new friends at the last music show I went to. This is supposed to be my story but someone has tied my hands behind my back and is writing it for me.

Marnkis,

Jennifer O'toole, who's in the second youtube video and I met three years ago at a conference and she has advice on rejection and going through the hurHistorically, individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities have been
afforded few opportunities that permit the development of social and leadership skills, and
membership on governing boards and councils (Caldwell, 2010). Despite policy and legislative
mandates calling for federal protection and the inclusion of these individual in all aspects of
society, individuals with such disabilities have faced exclusion from community and societal
participation, and therefore had difficulty developing meaningful relationships. Recognizing this,
the Self Advocacy Movement has emerged as a reform to encourage and promote the
development of leadership, the participation on organizational boards and councils, and the
overall social inclusion of these overtly marginalized groups (Cardwell, 2010).
From the Self Advocacy Movement has emerged an increased number of leadership
training programs focused on leadership development among individuals with disabilities. My
Voice. My Participation. My Board., one such program, is hard at work helping to build effective
leadership skills and increase self-advocacy among adults with intellectual and developmental
disabilities living in the state of Georgia. The program aims to create a cohort of persons who
will go on to be prospective members of the governing and advisory boards, councils, and
committees of organizations that advocate on their behalf.
The proposed evaluation plan utilizes process and outcome evaluation methods to
examine three aspects of the program; (1) the appropriateness of the program content and
implementation style, (2) participant engagement and program satisfaction, and (3) the
participation in skill use and demonstration by program participants after the program has
concluded. These aspects will be investigated through the use of a needs assessment, engagement
the questionnaire, and a series of qualitative interviews. t.. I posted this one because she has a message which is "You are not a mistake" because other people let you down or the fact that you have AS. It may seem like something is wrong with you but there is really something wrong with the other party. Most people aren't capable of being a good friend as a lot of them only want what they want so they latch onto you as a result. You sound like a neat person and I am sure they would have met a unique person who has a different way of seeing the world.

I would keep going to that video game bar to just go and play video games because that's your happy place.

Shame on them!

Other reasons why I have no precious lil "friends"

Usually I feel too weak, tired and lazy to talk

Oftentimes someone else wants to laugh and joke around, and I do not. A previous precious lil "friend" had the nerve to tell me that I need a colostomy bag. And I did not laugh. Instead I just ignored the statement. But when I said the slightest thing she acted personally offended. Like she was perfect. "Holier than thou " attitude

Summer_Twilight, are you saying shame on the people who treated me poorly this year?

Is it difficult being an MLP: Friendship is Magic fan in the Bible Belt? For some reason, Bible Belters like mindless entertainment like South Park and Family Guy but anything involving a true plot and good animation gets the "Nerd Alert!" or "That's gay!" reaction. I suppose it's a reflection of how anti-intellectual the Bible Belt can be.

I definitely don't think there's anything "wrong" with me. I just feel lost in the world and the pencil that I try to write my story with has a broken tip.