Where do people meet their mates?

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C2V
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16 Sep 2017, 11:09 pm

Is it all just formulaic internet dating these days?
Where to people most commonly meet their significant others?


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sly279
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16 Sep 2017, 11:29 pm

Seems to be a lot of people on dating sites. It's not just the geeky guys and ladies anymore. I see a lot of working women and college women on them.

I dont know where people rest in person besides work and clubs.



wanderlust77
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17 Sep 2017, 2:44 pm

I met one ex in a meditation group. The group went on a trip to the woods to connect nature, fireside talks etc. We were on the same wavelength.
The other one I met at a small world music festival. Luckily he was very chatty as I didn't dare to say anything to him.



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18 Sep 2017, 4:57 am

I've met many people in different ways. Sometimes through acquaintances; other times more spontaneously.

I rarely did the "formulaic dating" thing. Found it too irritating.



nick007
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01 Nov 2017, 11:40 pm

I met all 3 of my girlfriends on forums. My 2nd & current I met on here. I had no luck on dating sites or offline but bad.


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02 Nov 2017, 1:44 am

for me, it was an art classroom.


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02 Nov 2017, 3:57 am

I met my huband at a gig. Never been on a dating site, would be way too scary! :)


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02 Nov 2017, 5:28 am

Work and university. Met a couple of people online, turned out to be the worst mistakes.



whatamievendoing
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02 Nov 2017, 9:55 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Met a couple of people online, turned out to be the worst mistakes.


If you don't mind me asking, I'm curious as to how they were mistakes.


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02 Nov 2017, 10:03 am

School, university. I've never been on a 'date' - that's something younger people have experience with, sort of inspired by American movies.

Internet dating gives me the heebiejeebies. I don't understand how anybody finds anybody that way.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Nov 2017, 10:54 am

I'm surprised about that, actually. I thought guys in Scandinavia took girls/women to the cinema on "dates."

I hope marriages in Scandinavia aren't like they are portrayed in Ingmar Bergmann films. These people seem so cold to me.



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02 Nov 2017, 11:07 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm surprised about that, actually. I thought guys in Scandinavia took girls/women to the cinema on "dates."

I hope marriages in Scandinavia aren't like they are portrayed in Ingmar Bergmann films. These people seem so cold to me.


We don't. Relationships usually evolve from friendships, which I actually think is a good thing. There's is no "courting".

That is until recently, because sadly we are starting to adopt alot of american values and traditions. I'd say tinder is what really started the dating culture here, before tinder, "dating" was not a thing here.



underwater
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02 Nov 2017, 1:57 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm surprised about that, actually. I thought guys in Scandinavia took girls/women to the cinema on "dates."

I hope marriages in Scandinavia aren't like they are portrayed in Ingmar Bergmann films. These people seem so cold to me.


We don't. Relationships usually evolve from friendships, which I actually think is a good thing. There's is no "courting".

That is until recently, because sadly we are starting to adopt alot of american values and traditions. I'd say tinder is what really started the dating culture here, before tinder, "dating" was not a thing here.


Seconding what Closet Genious said. I think 'dates' is an American import. People meet at school and work, through friends and activities and cabin trips. 'Courting' is in no way formalized. People do what they feel like.

Traditional courting would involve a lot of long evening walks and, kicking dust with one's feet and carefully avoiding eye contact. There used to be a lot of nature to hang out in, and in earlier times there would be ring dances between church services and at weddings. Plus 'night courtship', where young women during the summer would sleep in storehouses on the farms, which created an opportunity to have visitors. In a lot of communities, women who were eligible for marrying into land-owning families might have to prove they were able to get pregnant before getting married. This was the case in other places in Europe too, there is a modern misconception that the Victorian ages started during the Middle Ages.

I agree that Ingmar Bergman movies are absolutely miserable, but seriously there are people like that. Only the most messed up, though. That said, we are not the most expressive or socially skilled people on Earth. Often, my husband tells me (preceded by swear words) 'It's not you who are autistic, it's the entire xxxxxxx country'.

If you want to know what the Scandinavian male ideal is, look to Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. Silent but strong, and modest. Not a lot of dating going on.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Nov 2017, 6:53 pm

How is a person like Eric Ericsson seen? The great explorer who came to Newfoundland, Canada, around 1000.

How about Vikings in general?

You folks were a pretty militarized group, it seems, until the late 19th century, when most of the social programs began. I've always been curious about what caused the turnaround.

I believe it's because people wanted security and sense in their lives---not because they became cowardly all of a sudden.



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03 Nov 2017, 2:39 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
How is a person like Eric Ericsson seen? The great explorer who came to Newfoundland, Canada, around 1000.

How about Vikings in general?

You folks were a pretty militarized group, it seems, until the late 19th century, when most of the social programs began. I've always been curious about what caused the turnaround.

I believe it's because people wanted security and sense in their lives---not because they became cowardly all of a sudden.


That's Leiv Eiriksson you mean, son of Eirik the Red. His grandfather was outlawed for manslaughter, which caused him to settle on Iceland where his son Eirik also committed manslaughter and was outlawed, which forced him to settle on Greenland, where Leiv grew up. So at least Leiv managed to avoid killing someone to go exploring.

I don't really think the vikings were so much more violent than other groups at the time; it's just that the Christians were the ones writing history. Also, Sweden and Denmark were traditionally much more authoritarian and militarized than Norway, while the Icelandic stayed far from everything, minding their sheep.

The Scandinavian countries were traditionally very equal, and people had a lot of respect for the law. Travel was rough, and people often did not hear of great events until long after they happened. I think Protestantism did a lot of good, because it led to general education being introduced very early, and curbed the influence of the clergy. The Scandinavian countries have enjoyed long periods of peace where people have not experienced the horrors of things like the Napoleonic wars, for example. It leads to less resentment.


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03 Nov 2017, 7:11 am

Closet Genious wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm surprised about that, actually. I thought guys in Scandinavia took girls/women to the cinema on "dates."

I hope marriages in Scandinavia aren't like they are portrayed in Ingmar Bergmann films. These people seem so cold to me.


We don't. Relationships usually evolve from friendships, which I actually think is a good thing. There's is no "courting".

That is until recently, because sadly we are starting to adopt alot of american values and traditions. I'd say tinder is what really started the dating culture here, before tinder, "dating" was not a thing here.

Courting is natural, though.