Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

lazyflower
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 4 Sep 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 136

18 Sep 2017, 8:12 am

Do you like being teased by friends/family/etc?
Do you do it yourself?

A trait of ASD is that we can take things too literally, so I wonder if anyone else here sometimes ends up feeling kind of hurt over being teased? I know that I sometimes can't seem to distinguish between when it's affectionate or serious, even though I know in my right mind that they wouldn't be mean to me. I'm also terrible at teasing others because I assume that they take it as personally as I tend to do.



Voxish
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 16 Apr 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 426

18 Sep 2017, 11:06 am

No, none of us do. We don't like it, we can't tell if is friendly (Very UK and Ireland) or not.

I am using the "Royal we" here, but I would be very suprised if anyone here who is autistic would say "Oh yeah I am fine with it. I totally get the NT intention behind it, I undersatnd people are just having a laugh, lets not get up tight about it, it is totally cool"


_________________
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1)
AQ: 42
RAADS-R: 160
BBC: Radio 4


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,150

19 Sep 2017, 12:49 pm

If it's done properly then I'm usually fine with it, otherwise it just annoys me. The folks at work were fond of "insulting" each other by saying things such as "you're sick, you need help," and it was a sign that they accepted you if they said that to you. The trick seems to be to make the insult so ludicrous that it's hard to be offended by it. I tend not to do it because I'm never sure I've not touched a nerve, I don't know of any way of honing the skill without a real risk of hurting people. I don't know enough about how to suss out who's sensitive to what.

I think it might be a human variant of the physical play fighting that's so common between animals. But humans are complicated and some of them use it as a form of passive aggression, or to make others look weak and inferior while hiding behind some kind of "can't you take a joke?" facade. I hate that. Strangely, most of the people I've chosen to associate with don't seem to like teasing or being teased.



jrjones9933
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,144
Location: The end of the northwest passage

19 Sep 2017, 5:27 pm

I had to learn, growing up in Texas. I find it a useful way to remind my friends of hazards, specifically those they tend to create for themselves.


_________________
"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade