Why Can'Aspies Be Bog Standard?

Post Reply New Topic

Why does every Aspie have to have a special interest, or be interested in systems? I don't have any special interest and I'm no systemiser.

Why can't aspies just be bog standard? We're not all geniuses. We're not all budding Chopins. A lot of us don't have meltdowns as soon as we tastes something we don't like/hear a loud noise. Actually, how can anyone have a meltdown if they eat somenting they've never liked?

I read what so-called experts say and I honestly think to myself that I'm not on the autistic spectrum. I don't have any special interests. I'm not skilled at anything, unless you count not washing pots, not hoovering upstairs, since March, as special skills. I'm a complete smeghead. I was heartbroken when my dad died and based on what I've read, about autism, I shouldn't have been, as aspies don't do emotions/empathy. I can understand tone of voice and can read people's faces.

Ergo, if you're like me, maybe you're not even on the spectrum, or you're just bog standard.

You don't have to have every sympotom to have something.

I don't really have an "extra-special" interest, nor do I "systematize" too much.

I get emotional, and I am naturally able to express my feelings to people. I hate deaths of loved ones and I cry at funerals. I can read body language easily, and I can view things from other people's eyes, and recognise their emotions.

My main social awkwardness is not responding quick enough to jokes and things. I immediately know that it's a joke, but my brain is slow at coming up with a response right away, so I just give a laugh as a response.

I'm still Aspie, unfortunately.

Well, maybe you really aren't autistic. Who knows.

The thing about not having empathy is just BS though. Some autistics are emotionally flat. Most are not.

What I see as my biggest challenge is the time lag between picking up information in social interaction and acutally understanding what the other person is communicating, and then responding to it. Some people interpret that as a lack of empathy.

Executive functioning is a huge problem, and getting worse.

I'm a huge systemiser, though. But I don't have just one special interest, I have several that come and go.

I do have strong special interests, but mine aren't so odd for a woman, cats in particular. I attribute my love of cats and animals in general to having grown up with pets all my life. I consider them members of the family.

I scored low on the systematizing test, because I am not good with technology, although I would like to learn to be better.

I shouldn't be able to play tennis, because it is said people with Asperger's are bad at sports. I started lessons late, at 50 years of age, but I am making steady improvements.

I don't 'really' have a current special interest at the moment either. Most of my special interests come and go, although there are a few that I think will be there for life. The thing I have realized is that it is really the core traits that matter, rather than the symptoms themselves. The symptoms come as a result of abnormal brain structure. Just because you don't have a specific symptom (special interests/systematizing) doesn't necessarily mean you don't have the core trait (perserverative mind). I can tell you have a brain prone to perseveration just based on these posts- you are so fixated on whether or not you are a "real" aspie or not ! I am a very caring person (or at least I try to be) and I would say I have decent empathy as well. The problem is not that I don't have emotions- it's just that I don't express them correctly all the time (and who does anyway? ). I can "read" people's tone of voice and faces too, I think. I am so sorry for your loss, though. I don't have anything close to a special skill. If I were you, I would stop reading all the things online that say autistic people always have a special interest, are cold and unfeeling, etc. Those are just stereotypes, and who wants to be part of a stereotype ?

Hi Stampy

I don't have many of the stereotypical "Aspie" traits, though I used to have many as a child.

I'm finally coming to terms with the notion that I may be bog standard.

No one is "Bog Standard" aspie or not, er....that's it, the end.

Excellent. Thanks for that, voxish, you've just brightened up my day.

I went to an oncologist and said I had cancer. He examined me and said "I can't find any abnormal cell growth" to which I replied "Why does someone with cancer have to have abnormal cell growth? Why can't we just be bog standard?".

Turns out I also have AIDS, diabetes, Alzheimer's, and I'm pregnant.

Q:Why can't aspies just be bog standard?
A: Why aren't your personal beliefs identical to mine?

We cant be "bog standard" because a bog is a type of swamp, and our president vowed to "drain the swamp".

Is that some British expression? Ive never heard it before. And don't know what it means.

There are standard traits I don't have and I'm quite definitely autistic.

Erm, what? In my experience it's quite the opposite: I feel like I feel a lot deeper than many of the NTs around me...I just have absolutely no clue how to convey those feelings to others.

As others have said, not every Aspie will have every symptom. For example my speech wasn't delayed and in fact I started talking early (I said my first word at six months). Aspies are stereotyped as having no sense of humor, but, while I can at times be astonishingly literal (mostly when following directions--my mom is endlessly amazed when I follow her directions to the letter...in ways she didn't intend ), my sense of humor and sarcasm detector are just fine. I also don't really have any trouble reading people; I do sometimes miss social cues but as far as reading people's faces or intentions I find it quite easy. Aspies are often portrayed as math geniuses who sit down to a piano at five and compose a concerto; math is my weakest subject and while I do play piano, "I don't play accurately--anyone can play accurately--but I play with marvelous expression." I do have keen special interests, I do have a near-eidetic memory (for facts...but not necessarily dates, conversations I had five minutes ago, or names :p ), I've never had a meltdown in public (not since I was a kid anyway) but I can freak out over stress or sensory input, I toe-walk, etc., but I doubt many people have all the same symptoms. They're really just a list of traits of which you might experience some.