I done a small but helpful deed, but worrying about it

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Joe90
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19 Sep 2017, 3:00 pm

So yesterday I was on my way home from work when I passed an elderly man in his front garden. He had one of those wheelie-bins with the lid, but the lid was wide open and was hanging over the fence. He was trying to hook it with his walking stick but was having difficulty. Because he was elderly, I felt I couldn't just walk by and not shut the lid for him, as it was on my side of the fence (the street side), so I said "hello" then asked him if I could shut the lid for him. I did, and he said thank you and I walked on.

For some reason I started to anxiously analyze the way I said "hello" and if asking him if I could close the lid sounded stupid, as it was obvious he wanted to shut the lid. But it was a rhetorical question moreso, so hopefully he got that. But I also worried in case I might have been intruding, and that closing a lid on a bin is such a tiny task that it's not worth helping someone with. But then again, he was an elderly man.


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BirdInFlight
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19 Sep 2017, 3:11 pm

I think you did just fine, both in helping him close the lid, and in how you said what you said.

Even though it's tiny thing, it's very nice to help someone out even in a small way. He was clearly having difficulty and the lid was right there on your side of the fence. It was an easy piece of help to give and I'm sure he was very grateful.

There doesn't seem to be anything wrong in what you said to him either -- "Hello, can I close that for you?" or something along those lines is absolutely fine. I think you did great.



Joe90
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19 Sep 2017, 3:50 pm

Thanks, that's nice. 8)

Although I struggle with making eye contact with strangers I pass in the street, I still naturally love to help people. I don't find eye contact hard when I'm helping someone.

But my social anxiety lessens around elderly people anyway, especially if they look frail or vulnerable. About a year ago I saw a little old lady drop her money purse out of her bag, and she had trouble bending down to pick it up. I was nearby, and I picked her money purse up for her and made sure it was in her bag before I went. There are a lot of people around here who would just grab someone's money and run off with it. I would hate that to happen to her. She was so grateful, that she offered me some money for helping her! I said no thanks, as I didn't want her money. I just wanted her to be safe.


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BirdInFlight
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19 Sep 2017, 3:57 pm

That's so nice! I'm the same, I like doing things for people if I happen to be able to help. There are so many people who do the opposite -- steal, hurt people, etc -- that I think it's good to counterbalance that, in this world.