Lonely. Not sure what to do.

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After I broke up with my boyfriend we dropped all communication. He avoids me and thinks Im crazy but its just I coulnt hide my aspergers from him. After we broke up I talked to this guy that could be a real creep. I ended up staying at his place after my parents kicked me out. He would sometimes grab hold of me and shove me around. He never physically hurt me but one time he wanted me to leave and I wouldnt so he shoved me into the stairs trying to get me out which left bruises on my ass. The cops got involved and after that he was no longer allowed speaking to me.

Now that Ive gotten my own place its been lonely and boring. I kind of miss when me qnd the creep just talked about stuff and hung out. Been thinking of reconnecting with him but not sure if its a good idea since he would physically shoved me around. If it werent for that we would be normal friends. I dont know why he did it. I miss the version of him that didnt do that.

It cant be good for me to sit in my apartment every night doing nothing with no one to talk to. I tried going to group community meetings but I hate them and dont want to go to them.

Its probably a bad idea to talk to the creepy guy isnt it. Even afte he had to get therapy and anger management it doesnt justify what he did to me. But I cant help thinking what if things are different this time and he isnt such a little as*hole. I never thought Id be the type of person to get envolved with a jerk but he was easy to talk to and 99.9% of people are not. Why do I want to forgive him?

He was probably shoving me because I was in his apartment and he didnt want me there. Thats why I think things would be different this time around. If he shoved me again I would not talk to him anymore.

Im quite bored with no job (cant work) and no money half the time. I miss taking to him when we were getting along...

I saw my mom get severely beaten by my father when I was very young, so it upsets me when I read about women getting physically abused? Want to know why your post upset me? Because you were physically abused! Want to know why he's not allowed to talk to you? Because you were physically abused?

Want to know why you are calling him "The Creep"? Because you know you shouldn't see him. The real question is, why would you consider being with somebody who was abusive towards you? I'd likely be because you have low self esteem. Doesn't make you a bad person or anything, just something you're suffering from. Don't think of a man as a ticket to eliminate boredom or to improve your lifestyle and get material possessions.

Think of a man as somebody who will love and protect you. Think of a man as somebody who's maybe a lot bigger than you and has a lot of muscles, but only so he can beat the crap out of a burglar and protect you if it comes to that. You should be able to trust your man, and know he's there for you. Don't look for perfection, isn't going to happen; but you deserve a real relationship with a man, not possessions and drama.

well I do have a bad feeling about it. Come to think of it his psychological abuse did make me suicidal.

Maybe you should try focusing on yourself and building yourself up before you start dating. Just a suggestion.

I dont wish to go out with him just talk from time to time. If I do talk to him again it wont be very much. He has issues of his own. Best not to crowed that type of person.

U need Jesus

Autistic Lives Matter. Don't settle for his BS just because you're lonely. I saw first hand growing up that a leopard doesn't change its' spots. Once an abuser, always an abuser.

Good point.