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Clairebear1985
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20 Sep 2017, 12:21 am

I don't even know where to begin with this jumbled mess in my head. It was around the third grade when I realized that most of my classmates didn't like me, were annoyed by me, and I couldn't understand why. I was (sorta still am) a know it all, bossy/domineering during play, and didn't realize this till I was an adult. I couldn't keep a friend, and by jr high I couldn't stand school anymore. The socialization was too difficult and emotionally painful for me, no matter how badly I actually wanted it. I started getting in trouble, ended up in a girls home and juvie several times, but settled down around 18. I always put it off on my parents and a not so great home life as a child. I had an emotionally absent father, and an overwhelmed, depressed, and anxious mother.

Fast forward 14 years, and my daughter is a mini-me as far as her behavior. She's 8. She's already been diagnosed with ADHD, but I feel that there may be more to it than that. I always felt so different and out of place, and some of her questions to me seem like she feels the same. I've been reading everything I can find on the internet for the past month about ASD, and how it ties in with social communication disorder and ADHD. There are so many times that she seems to play dumb, but I'm finally realizing that she's not-- she literally doesn't understand the meaning behind the phrase. Only now that I'm on the other side of this behavior, do I understand why my childhood was how it was.

I was diagnosed with a laundry list of stuff as a teen: social anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, ADD or ADHD, something bordering on sociopathy due to lack of empathy, depression, 'mild' bipolar disorder, and lastly TBI from traumatic birth involving forceps. Those were all acquired between the ages of 13-16 between 3 different professionals. I don't know anymore.. the more I read, the more confused I feel about all of this. It's driving me bonkers, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm barking up the wrong tree by wondering if it's even ASD. Maybe I do just have a bunch of stuff wrong with me, and I passed it onto my daughter :(



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20 Sep 2017, 9:02 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet :) This thread may help you clarify some of your confusion:

viewtopic.php?t=211004



Clairebear1985
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20 Sep 2017, 10:58 pm

Thank you ma'am. I did take the AQ test and the empathizing systemizing test, and those showed I definitely have a reason to believe I'm on the spectrum. So if I am, my daughter very likely is also. I think my main issue with this is that I can't get an answer on my own-- I need to wait until my daughter goes though an evaluation, which will hopefully be before the end of this year.

I overthink almost everything, and this is no exception. It's so hard being patient in a situation like this. I want to get my daughter help, and an answer as to why my youth seemed funky would be nice too lol.



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20 Sep 2017, 11:01 pm

Another website I would recommend for you in addition to Wrong Planet is the Autistic Women's Network (AWN). They publish a range of articles for women and girls on the spectrum with a profound awareness of how AS can manifest differently in some females.



Clairebear1985
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21 Sep 2017, 8:35 am

Awesome! Thank you very much :)