When people say they have it worse than you

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Edna3362
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22 Sep 2017, 9:56 am

When people say they had it worse, my conclusion/s could either of the three because people don't had to know --

A. They are not helping, nor they want to. Therefore, they're not worth of attention. Best they rant their needing more 'needs' to someone else, as they contest that they are more self-centered than to what they point.
B. They are not being strong by admitting of having 'more struggle', as they subjectively perceive 'less struggles' are trivial. Therefore, minus respect points from me for assuming things are as trivial, and I'll make their suffering just as less trivial.
C. It's both A and B because I'm no saint nor had the patience. Therefore, I will conclude that said person is either bitter whinner who didn't learned well with their experiences nor had truly moved on, or both -- not only losing my respect towards them, but also disregard whatever they had suffered for comparing and judging subjectivity.


Not once I'd ever intent on my experiences as significant, let alone comparing it as more significant than other else's.
My top 1 on my worst of all my problems is as petty as having sinusitis. :x
Anything else I have as a problem is something I could laugh at, even if it's life threatening and supposedly should be taken seriously, and that's how I experience it. :lol:


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shortfatbalduglyman
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22 Sep 2017, 4:35 pm

You can't objectively absolutely measure the quality of a situation

:D

For example, you can't measure the quality of a panic attack. And measure the quality of ADD

And then say which is worse

You can't say ADD is fifty percent bad :D and a panic attack is sixty percent bad

It is easy to be biased in favor of seeing your situation as worse than someone else's

Some situations are worse than yours

Some situations are better than yours

Which one is which is subjective

:arrow:

You could feel grateful that some situations are worse than yours



Raleigh
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22 Sep 2017, 4:50 pm

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
How do you respond to this?
I'd say, "When you get stage 4 breast cancer remind me to tell you it's no big deal because everyone is going to die anyway and it is stupid for you to cry about it."

I had so many people tell me "everyone is going to die someday" after my cancer diagnosis that I seriously considered killing them, just to fulfil their prophecy.


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Joe90
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22 Sep 2017, 5:19 pm

Raleigh wrote:
kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
How do you respond to this?
I'd say, "When you get stage 4 breast cancer remind me to tell you it's no big deal because everyone is going to die anyway and it is stupid for you to cry about it."

I had so many people tell me "everyone is going to die someday" after my cancer diagnosis that I seriously considered killing them, just to fulfil their prophecy.


I know this is a bit off-topic, but I hate it when people say "oh you might be hit by a bus tomorrow anyway" to a person diagnosed with cancer. I've never had cancer, but my mum has, and I never give her all these silly cliches. I just sit and listen, and try to understand how frightening it must be for her. And also I don't say "oh but at least you're in remission, some people are actually dying of cancer", because that isn't helpful. Cancer is a horrible thing to get, and while my mum is in remission it still doesn't mean she is free of it completely, as the doctors have told her it could come back. My mum is traumatized by it, and it is so hard for her to distract her mind from it completely.

Back on topic. I think, though, that it's the way people say things. If I am having an anxiety attack at work and someone agrees with how I'm feeling then says about how they've had a difficult week or whatever, but in an understanding way, that's OK. But when somebody just yells at you "well I've had a difficult week!", it's a different sort of context, if you get what I'm saying.


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Scorpius14
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22 Sep 2017, 6:26 pm

bit like someone with say pancreatic cancer who has 6 months to 3 years to live arguing with another cancer patient who may likely shake it off in the next few months and go into remission, "oh i had to go bald via chemo and was sick to my stomach most days, oh i should have been so lucky to have a lesser cancer than having the knowledge that i could die in the next few months or have a bit more time". what is it they say? first world problems 3rd world problems? you put yourself in the shoes of someone in poverty with no chance of employment or better future, cancers the least of your worries, there are even some even myself who wish they had cancer just to have a reason to not carry on with an uncertain future, a poverty stricken one at that and once you have a worthwhile life going, cancer is something you would be more scared of amongst other things like terrorism