Frozen anger

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I've been going to a therapist for the last 6 months and she several times pointed out that I never reveal anger. Like I "froze" it at some point of my life.

Today we were talking about the stress I get when trying to support my older daughter on her beginning at school. She has little social skills and some sensory issues, not enough to get a diagnosis, at least at the moment, but the school could be hard for her. But when the therapist pointed out that if anything was going wrong with my daughter, the school would inform me, I exploded:

- Did the school inform my parents of my problems and struggles? Nothing that I know of! They were sometimes informed if I did something wrong, I was left alone with all my struggle! But nothing on the bullying and isolation and the real problems there.

In fact, my parents were informed when I shut down in high school. Just shut down, no input, no output. Probably severe depression. They did literally nothing. No, not nothing. They convinced my teachers not to do anything about it.

I'm angry at my parents. They didn't care. They chose not to see any problem as long as I was behaving correctly. They did the same to my siblings. Never stood by our side unless it was perfectly aligned with their.

I know some people here have much worse expiriences. But... this frozen anger is melting now and I feel it. With all my alexithymia, I'm feeling angry.

Well...at least what the therapist said "melted" your soul to the point where you could express your anger--even if that wasn't the precise intention of the therapist.

It doesnt feel like it now but its probably a good thing you're expressing anger. Its not healthy to keep it bottled up or frozen as you say.

My parents did nothing to help me in shool either. Its when I needed help the most but they insisted there was nothing wrong with me. I needed therapy badly. Not getting this help just led to problems later in life. Parents arent always right.

On the alexithymic angle - it depends on how this manifests for you. Some common expressions (in case you're unaware) are just being unable to actually verbalize it, through being unable to understand / identify, to being unable to feel or process.
Another common theme though - many alexithymics can still get the strong stuff, even if hyposensitive to the in-betweens. I know rage is one of the few emotions I am able to identify, process and feel clearly, because of the strength of that emotion.
Maybe similar for you? You're feeling that anger because the strength of it has finally "got through" your inabilities to identify, process, feel?
As to what to do with / about it, I suppose that depends on what you want to do about the situation in general.

Thanks for your support!
It seems my brain is having a really hard time dealing with strong, ambivalent emotions - because I love my parents, I value lots of things they did to me - and at the same time I'm <whatever it is called, it is strong and negative> for their lack of supporting me when I was the most vulnerable.
My this-way-or-that-way brain is going crazy trying to process this.