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C2V
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22 Sep 2017, 10:18 pm

So - I've been seeing this therapist just once every few months - she is a gender therapist and it was originally just when I was having major reassignment surgeries done, as some people freak out (no freakout for me - reassignment surgery is awesome) but now I'm considering other avenues.
Because oddly, gender isn't my biggest problem. Independent living without contact with relatives is.
I also find it extremely difficult to actually talk, both physically because of my speech issues (correction soon, I hope) and because I find that hard psychologically. So ultimately, I end up seeing this therapist, and all I do is restate facts. It's a progress report. I did this, I went there, I tried this option, I intend to do this or that.
And all she does is sit and nod. Then I leave.
This is not helping me.
I am very practical when it comes to these kinds of problems - I need feedback, ideas, suggestions about how I could actually solve a particular problem, enlightenment about psychological theory as to why I respond the way I do and what I can do about this, etc.
So, with all that in mind - has anyone ever had therapy done via email? I looked it up and apparently it is done.
I write much better than I speak, and I can actually express things much better in writing than I could ever say them.
Also, if things were done in writing, this would force a therapist to actually respond with something useful. You can't just sit there and nod in writing without contributing something to the information I'm giving out.
I know some people "just need to vent" or "just need someone to talk to" or "just need someone to listen."
That isn't me. I need help with things. To me, conventional talk therapy seems utterly pointless. I wondered if the written version would be any more useful.
Thoughts?


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starkid
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29 Sep 2017, 1:01 am

Why don't you first try telling your current therapist that you need feedback and solutions? Neither type of therapy will work unless you ask for what you need.



icechai
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29 Sep 2017, 7:45 pm

For various reasons, I can't talk much either. It helped me to have very structured therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Trauma Based therapy. It had worksheets and actionable tasks that I could do that day or week to improve my coping skills, and life skills. You would need to tell her that she needs to talk more, provide feedback, ask for clarification, define specific goals, and how you would get there, for therapy to work for you.



shortfatbalduglyman
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04 Oct 2017, 5:02 pm

I am much better at writing than talking

I like writing much more than talking

If the counseling occurs over email, the counselor does not have to grunt "huh" and "what". Or mishear me

But email therapy could get affected by computer problems or that might compromise confidentiality. A third part might see the conversation, although I doubt anyone cares

Email therapy might require an :D app :skull: . That costs $$

And I am interested in email therapy too

But don't know how to do it

Anyways

The current counselor told me that the insurance only pays for one year of counseling. In other words, three more sessions left

After that, it's like :jester: no more counseling. Unless I pay cash. 75 bucks an hour



C2V
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22 Oct 2017, 8:03 am

Yeah - the problem is, once a relationship is established, I find it almost impossible to alter dynamics.
I could not tell the therapist that I suddenly need to start doing something completely different after our pattern of behaviour has been established over the last months.
I could only assert those needs with a new therapist, setting those behaviour patterns in place from the instigation of a relationship.
She wants to see me again next month to discuss why I sent the email requesting a theraputic connection done in writing - which seems oxymoronic to me. I tell her I can't speak, and she tells me we should talk about it verbally. :roll:


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icechai
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22 Oct 2017, 9:11 am

I see what you mean! I tend to approach these kinds of situations with a "they are going to say no anyway so might as well get it over with" attitude. Which sounds self defeating, but I did get the desired result, which is me doing something about the situation. And sometimes, holding your ground and being firm actually works. I would say something like 'I apologize if this wasn't clarified earlier, but I have intense difficulty with communicating my thoughts and feelings verbally. I can express myself more accurately and with more nuance in writing. I would like our therapeutic relationship to continue and be beneficial for me, so I propose....(your idea). What are your thoughts about this?' And if she's not receptive, at least you made yourself heard.

Best of luck!



DataB4
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22 Oct 2017, 1:28 pm

I've heard of online, chatroom-based therapy, like www.talkspace.com so is that what you're looking for? It doesn't necessarily have to be real time.



underwater
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22 Oct 2017, 1:45 pm

C2V wrote:
So ultimately, I end up seeing this therapist, and all I do is restate facts. It's a progress report. I did this, I went there, I tried this option, I intend to do this or that.


This is exactly what I am struggling with, although I talk a lot.
It's 'what I did since last time and what I will do until next time', and I'm so busy trying to communicate that I have no idea what I am feeling or how to express that.

No idea how to deal with it though.


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Temeraire
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03 Nov 2017, 3:54 pm

C2V, if you want feedback, ideas and suggestions have you considered a Life Coach or a Mentor?

There would be less pressure than face to face therapy.