I need to vent about my anxious romantic feelings

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OH MAN, I HOPE YOU DON'T TRY TO TRIVIALIZE MY FEELINGS OR SAY WHAT I WANT IS EVIL OR ANYTHING.
Last April was when the girl who participated in the weekly social group I was involved in started dating the relatively new guy who started to participate that came along a month earlier. I still get moments sometimes when I'm sad, bitter, and angry. I even wanted to stop attending the Thursday night weekly activities because of a really bad meltdown experience, and I don't know about wanting to completely withdraw or disassociate from the activity members there who I would talk to.

I wish I got an opportunity where I can hit it off and ask someone out the EXACT method this guy did. In fact, sometimes I wish the girl will somehow not like him anymore and start wanting to date me instead. I had meltdowns where I literally had jealous or angry thoughts of this guy, maybe even more than this girl he was with. Sometimes I still get angry or obsessive thoughts about them possibly having actual sex, the other parts in their relationship, all that. The current news about the crisis' in the world today and the threat of imminent nuclear war only drive things higher and makes my anxiety situations more unable to cope when they occur.

I don't know how I can let my heart go about it once and for all. I am on the fence about my Facebook Messenger or having her on my profile's friend list. She was not a mean or unpleasant girl, but I get really sad or angry thoughts when I see her picture of her and her partner shoulders over the other. I also have thoughts sometimes going through my head comparing her to my ex (I sort of fell out of love with her toward the end), and I wanted to find somebody who I was more attracted to than my ex. Even all this time, I didn't bring up this specific issue with my ASD counselor/psychologist.

I want to improve to be a better catch for any other opportunity that might come my way. I want to have another opportunity of the situation that I faced, but this time I want to be the guy at the other end of the situation. I really wish to put someone in the same exact anxiety/anger/sadness/etc that I faced with this girl. That would make me feel great. I know you think it's evil and sick, but I don't care about what anybody else thinks about it anymore. The guy didn't really brag/show-off directly either, but I had strong developed anger and jealousy. **I also want to know, is there any hope at all that a guy at my functioning level can one day draw or attract people to them more naturally?**

I know that I'm a person usually in good faith, but I have my limits for doing things that are altruistic and not having a dark side. I hope I didn't trigger the "you are a jerk" or other similar, negative responses.

I would talk to your counsellor about this issue.
Why wouldn't you bring it up if it's causing you such anguish?

If it were me I would cut all contact with the group and Facebook/messenger.
There's no need to be constantly poking yourself in the eye with a stick, metaphorically speaking.

You said that inflicting emotional pain on others would make you feel great.
You have to consider that most people wouldn't feel the intensity of emotion as you feel in a similar situation, and maybe not for such a prolonged period of time, so that scenario might not even be possible, and the "exact same situation" is a certain impossibility.

As for "is there any hope at all...." where there's life there's always hope, I suppose.
I personally don't think hope is worth much.

I don't know when I'll be able to make an appointment with my counselor anymore. I did touch the part about the girl starting to date the guy (the girl is also a client of her), but at that point I thought I made peace with the situation. I started an official routine for 2-year college last month and other things going on too. I'll have to see if I can make any other plans.

I don't know if I want to totally drop contact and friends list on Facebook/Messenger, I don't want to face any possibly bad fallout from that. I have a page on FB, but I decided to mostly avoid it at a certain point for months on at least (since that point, I actually did check in, but that was only once). I'm also concerned because I joined the official group activities Facebook chat/page.

I know I may show dark or some people may say "psychopathic" tendencies sometimes, but how would you feel if you had such lingering extreme jealousy and angry thoughts about somebody else?

Well quite frankly this sounds really unhealthy...

I think the best bet would be to find a way to move on from this obsession. I mean a person cannot control every thought that pops into their head...but you have to decide what to do with it and in this case acting on any of this would likely be a bad idea.

Also that kind of attitude won't make you desirable, I mean you keep on that thought process and you may end up caring more about dating a girl to make someone jealous than dating her because you really like her. I do not think that is a thing that would turn most women on.

These jealous thoughts are hurting you. You should stop them before they cause you more pain.

Being jealous is normal. Unfortunate, but normal. Your situation sounds a bit extreme, but as long as you haven't really acted on the feeling of jealousy (as in treated those people poorly or hurt them on purpose) you're by no means a bad person. It's normal to feel a bit angry and resent people who have something you don't that you really want even if you do know that they are not the reason to your sadness. As long as you don't start treating them like they were the cause of your misery then everything's fine.

Still, you should try to get rid of those feelings. Despite the fact that they are completely natural they won't be good for your mental health in the long run.

I know that I shouldn't act something out in certain ways on purpose (and I usually don't), but deep down I have these beliefs and feelings sometimes.