Social Boundaries

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I had a bad day today... and I was reminded of an article which I read a few years ago. A successful Autistic woman spoke about feeling, in everyday life, like she was "missing a layer of skin"; a layer which everybody else has but she does not. I feel naked. Vulnerable. Every sound I hear, every move other people make sometimes just shakes me to the core. I feel like I'm being raped, attacked, violated... just to go outside and walk down the street. I hate it so much. It's not anybody else's doing or fault, it's me.
But I have no boundaries sometimes in certain regards. I feel everything that happens to everyone around me. I wanted to just bury a hole into the earth and crawl into it. I feel and sense and hear everything single thing that is perceived by all people people within a certain vicinity. To the point where it drowns ME out completely. There is no me.

I sometimes wish that I could go out into the world and do the things that I need to do and not have to see or deal with any other people whatsoever. I don't know how to do that stuff even close to the level which seems to be expected by others. And I'm sick of it.

Other people seem so needy to me. They can't just deal with passing by another person without having some type of "confirmation of contact" or something. Leave me alone. I don't care.

Apparently this is an American/Canadian thing. In many European countries and the UK, people don't engage in small talk or often acknowledge each other on the street as a matter of course. I hear this is particularly true in Finland.

"The conception that Finns are a reserved and taciturn lot is an ancient one and does not retain the same validity as it used to, certainly not with the younger generations. Nevertheless, it is fair to say that Finns have a special attitude to words and speech: words are taken seriously, and people are held to what they say. “Take a man by his words and a bull by its horns,” says a Finnish proverb. A Finn will carefully consider what he (or she) says and expect others to do so too. He (or she) considers verbal agreements and promises binding, not only upon himself but upon the other party too, and he (or she) considers that the value of words remains essentially the same, regardless of when and where they are uttered. Visitors should remember that invitations or wishes expressed in a light conversational manner (such as: “We must have lunch together sometime”) are often taken at face value, and forgetting them can cause concern. Small talk, a skill at which Finns are notoriously lacking, is considered suspect by definition, and is not especially valued.

Finns rarely enter into conversation with strangers, unless a particularly strong impulse prompts it. As foreigners often note, Finns are curiously silent in the metro, the bus or the tram. In lifts, they suffer from the same mute embarrassment as everyone else in the world. However, a visitor clutching a map will have no trouble in getting advice on a street corner or in any other public place, since the hospitality of Finns easily overrides their customary reserve."

Yes, I saw a story on 60 Minutes about this years ago. It made we want to live there lol

I know what you mean. There's just so MUCH going on in the world, and then there's all these people to deal with on top of it.

As to doing things you need to do in the world, are supermarkets and the like open 24 hours where you are? For a while, I did all my grocery shopping around midnight or later, and there's practically nobody there at that hour. It might not remove all people from your outing, but it could definitely cut down on it, and maybe that would make things easier when you did have to deal with them. You could try very early mornings, too.

I wish I could give you some ideas on how to block out some of the "noise". I would suggest meditation to help you learn to narrow your focus, but I've tried to learn to meditate for 20+ years and I'm total crap at it, so I can't say if it would help or not. I just go around lost in my own head naturally, so while I still notice everything going on around me, the effect is blunted.

In any case, I wish you lots of peaceful days untainted by people, and strength when you can't avoid them.

Thank you
Yes I am night person, and I prefer to do things in the outside world at night. The worst lately is because of my job I sometimes have to walk around a very poor, rundown area with alot of drug addicts and homeless people. And don't get me wrong, I love those people, but... They just won't leave me alone. Every single person I see walking down the street wants something from me. I just can't stand it. They refuse to be ignored, you have to acknowledge them in some way or they become angry. And often I just can't do that. Often I don't want to do it, but even when I do I don't know how. Sometimes I can, and I enjoy talking to them, but sometimes I just want to left alone. Everybody in general I find in all neighbourhoods seems to want or need something from me, and I don't know what it is. I wish I could wear a burka or something LOL